The Blessings of Apathy
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 11:17 pm
I noticed that our friend Darrick is back, repeating the same old stuff as always, and seemingly with the same raw and stinging emotions as ever. I can relate to the pain of leaving the church, and for a time I was probably as bad as he is about blaming my problems on the church.
But when I saw his posts appear again, I thought, for heaven's sake, how long has it been since he left the church? I know he left at least several years before I did. How long does it take for the raw emotion to fade? Then I realized I was starting to sound like one of those people who say, "Just get over it and shut up about the church."
There's no magical time period after which you should be "over" Mormonism and able to "move on" with your life, but I am grateful that it's possible. It's been a real blessing that I've reached a stage of peaceful apathy.
A week or so ago, I went to a doctor's office for an appointment, and the only magazines in the waiting room were a magazine I had already read and an Ensign. So, I picked up the Ensign, and I quickly realized I just am not interested anymore, at least not enough to read through that stuff. It's like trying to force yourself to watch a mediocre film for the seventh time. I put the magazine down and just sat their with my thoughts until I was called in.
Watching all this silliness between the boards lately has felt like that to me. I really couldn't care less what anyone is posting on the other board, and I can't even muster the interest to read threads about the whole thing over here.
It used to bother me that people questioned my motives, but once I realized that I don't have to defend my motives (because I know what they are and know they're well-intentioned) I stopped worrying about it. Besides, people who threaten my family have a bigger problem with motivation than I'll ever have.
why me used to annoy me with his insistence that no one has ever proven Mormonism false, but then I just remember that it's been proven sufficient to me. Who cares if why me or anyone else disagrees?
bcspace said again this week that the only reason people lose faith (well, besides sin) is that all criticism of the church involves lies or "yellow journalism." By implication, then, all of us who have left are either liars or have been duped by liars, which once upon time would have offended me. But then I just remind myself that bc knows as well as I do that this is not true, and it doesn't bother me. The things that trouble a lot of us here are true, and it's OK to state the obvious.
So, why do I stick around here? Because I have made good friends and learned a lot from people here. That's about it. I could list all the people I genuinely love and who love me here, but then you know who you are. Thank you.
As for the haters? I'd rather read the Ensign than get involved in that again.
But when I saw his posts appear again, I thought, for heaven's sake, how long has it been since he left the church? I know he left at least several years before I did. How long does it take for the raw emotion to fade? Then I realized I was starting to sound like one of those people who say, "Just get over it and shut up about the church."
There's no magical time period after which you should be "over" Mormonism and able to "move on" with your life, but I am grateful that it's possible. It's been a real blessing that I've reached a stage of peaceful apathy.
A week or so ago, I went to a doctor's office for an appointment, and the only magazines in the waiting room were a magazine I had already read and an Ensign. So, I picked up the Ensign, and I quickly realized I just am not interested anymore, at least not enough to read through that stuff. It's like trying to force yourself to watch a mediocre film for the seventh time. I put the magazine down and just sat their with my thoughts until I was called in.
Watching all this silliness between the boards lately has felt like that to me. I really couldn't care less what anyone is posting on the other board, and I can't even muster the interest to read threads about the whole thing over here.
It used to bother me that people questioned my motives, but once I realized that I don't have to defend my motives (because I know what they are and know they're well-intentioned) I stopped worrying about it. Besides, people who threaten my family have a bigger problem with motivation than I'll ever have.
why me used to annoy me with his insistence that no one has ever proven Mormonism false, but then I just remember that it's been proven sufficient to me. Who cares if why me or anyone else disagrees?
bcspace said again this week that the only reason people lose faith (well, besides sin) is that all criticism of the church involves lies or "yellow journalism." By implication, then, all of us who have left are either liars or have been duped by liars, which once upon time would have offended me. But then I just remind myself that bc knows as well as I do that this is not true, and it doesn't bother me. The things that trouble a lot of us here are true, and it's OK to state the obvious.
So, why do I stick around here? Because I have made good friends and learned a lot from people here. That's about it. I could list all the people I genuinely love and who love me here, but then you know who you are. Thank you.
As for the haters? I'd rather read the Ensign than get involved in that again.