DiscussMormonism.com

My friend alerted me to this article:

http://news.yahoo.com/mystery-prisoner- ... 53847.html

I had noticed a couple of weeks ago that the Utah County Jail had a "Doe, John" in custody, but didn't know the details. (I check the jail sometimes to see if our dirtbag burglar has been arrested again.)

Obviously, it couldn't be one of the Three Nephites because "the prisons could not hold them, for they were rent in twain" (3 Nephi 28:19).

I thought this was funny:

Law enforcement officials say the man is "fairly well spoken and educated," but very guarded about his identity.

As a result of several short conversations with him, officers believe he may not be from Utah.

My friend asked me this meant that he couldn't be from Utah because he's "fairly well spoken and educated."

i heard this story one time about one of the three nephites stopping a murder at a local concert.

the nephite was an extremely large native american who stopped a vengeful killing after one guy stole the other guys wife.

the nephite was never questioned and the case has been lost.

Mike Norton on one of The Church Is Not True podcast cracked me up! He said that they should hire a big ol' Polynesian guy and dress him up in native American garb and have him randomly walk up to strangers at general conf and, without saying a word, hand them a Book of Mormon and solemnly nod... or something like that.

I can't remember the details exactly, but such a GREAT idea!!

Can you imagine the Faith-Promoting Rumor's the next Monday??

Scottie wrote:Mike Norton on one of The Church Is Not True podcast cracked me up! He said that they should hire a big ol' Polynesian guy and dress him up in native American garb and have him randomly walk up to strangers at general conf and, without saying a word, hand them a Book of Mormon and solemnly nod... or something like that.

I can't remember the details exactly, but such a GREAT idea!!

Can you imagine the Faith-Promoting Rumor's the next Monday??

Well, you kinda spoiled that one, didn't you?!?

OK everyone, post a message when you've forgotten all about this idea so that Scottie can run with it and surprise us all.

I understand the three frequent Mom's café in Salina, Utah, where they always order the scones with honey butter.

moksha wrote:I understand the three frequent Mom's café in Salina, Utah, where they always order the scones with honey butter.

I think it's a little sad that the Three Nephites don't have their own holiday. Santa does, the Eastern Bunny does, even the Great Pumpkin does.

I'm thinking Joseph Smith's birthday (December 23) would work well. An extra day off around Xmas.

Parents could put scones and honey butter out before bedtime and in the morning their household plumbing or electrical problems would be magically solved.

Of course, all their cars would be in perfect running order.

Not to mention the boon to local Mormon businesses. Nephite cards, home repair items exchanged as gifts and florists sending out thousands of small bouquets with three carnations and a little babies' breath.

Will Bagley related an excellent Three Nephite story on Radio West the other day.

According to Will, an old man was traveling down a dark, lonely road one night when his truck broke down. He stepped out the cab and had raised the hood when three mysterious strangers emerged from the darkness on foot and asked his name. “I’m Elder so-and-so from Provo,” replied the old man. The strangers then asked what he was doing out on the road so late at night. “I’m going to Panguitch,” he replied, “where I intend to tell the Saints the truth about the Mountain Meadows Massacre.”

The three strangers beat the living hell out of him.

:)

Quasimodo wrote:

moksha wrote:I understand the three frequent Mom's café in Salina, Utah, where they always order the scones with honey butter.

I think it's a little sad that the Three Nephites don't have their own holiday. Santa does, the Eastern Bunny does, even the Great Pumpkin does.

I'm thinking Joseph Smith's birthday (December 23) would work well. An extra day off around Xmas.

Parents could put scones and honey butter out before bedtime and in the morning their household plumbing or electrical problems would be magically solved.

Of course, all their cars would be in perfect running order.

Not to mention the boon to local Mormon businesses. Nephite cards, home repair items exchanged as gifts and florists sending out thousands of small bouquets with three carnations and a little babies' breath.

Thanks for the kind words, folks. Three of Three really likes his scones and honey butter!

Quasimodo wrote:

moksha wrote:I understand the three frequent Mom's café in Salina, Utah, where they always order the scones with honey butter.

I think it's a little sad that the Three Nephites don't have their own holiday. Santa does, the Eastern Bunny does, even the Great Pumpkin does.

I'm thinking Joseph Smith's birthday (December 23) would work well. An extra day off around Xmas.

Parents could put scones and honey butter out before bedtime and in the morning their household plumbing or electrical problems would be magically solved.

Of course, all their cars would be in perfect running order.

Not to mention the boon to local Mormon businesses. Nephite cards, home repair items exchanged as gifts and florists sending out thousands of small bouquets with three carnations and a little babies' breath.

Funnier than hell.

Wait.

Have the 3 Nephites been celibate for 2000 years?

*sheds a tear for them*