DiscussMormonism.com

Fence Sitter wrote:
No informed person takes the Andromeda threat seriously anymore. We really need to be concerned with the Borg. They have taken this United Order concept way overboard. Though I suppose if 7 of 9 were part of the deal I wouldn't mind assimilation.

Everybody Wang Chung wrote:

Fence Sitter wrote:
No informed person takes the Andromeda threat seriously anymore. We really need to be concerned with the Borg. They have taken this United Order concept way overboard. Though I suppose if 7 of 9 were part of the deal I wouldn't mind assimilation.

Yes. I'm starting to think that assimilation by 7 of 9 might not be a bad way to spend eternity:

Hades wrote:How does one go about defecating in a mailbox? That can't be easy. Now, that s*** is funny (pun intended).

Quasimodo wrote:

Hades wrote:How does one go about defecating in a mailbox? That can't be easy. Now, that s*** is funny (pun intended).

I was wondering about that, too. He must have carried a step stool (unintentional pun) with him. Even Wilt Chamberlain would have had trouble squatting over mail box.

Product Description

Do you believe God's throne is in the center of our universe? Have you ever wondered how God's universe is structured? Here is a theory that will give you a deeper understanding of these subjects.

The Kolob Theorem written by Professor Lynn M. Hilton allows us to see more clearly the celestial home we lived in before we were born and the home we will live in after we die. These places appear more real; they are made of matter, some of very fine matter, and exist in time and space. It helps us anticipate the reality of the glories of our future home.

Lynn, as a man of faith, unties in a single theory, scientific evidences, together with LDS sources to account for the form and structure of all of God's worlds, planets and suns. Lynn advocates the theory that the great star Kolob (which is near unto God's throne) is located in the center of our Milky Way Galaxy. He examines several basic ideas which grow out of hypothesis.

This book is written to glorify God the Father and Jesus Christ His Son, creators of our universe. We admire and stand in awe at the appearance of Their extended kingdoms. When we behold the stars we see "God moving in his majesty and power." (Doctrine and Covenants 88:47). It is also written to describe the future glory of men and women after the resurrection if they keep all the commandments of God.

Anonymous Brother wrote:Dear brother,

Please allow me to share with you how "The Kolob Theorem" changed my life and allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life.

At age 41, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my fourth conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep seeded hatred for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.

My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Cheeks who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for two packs of cigarettes and a diet coke. Cheeks elaborated further that I could expect to be “his bitch” on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.

Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. I was quickly discovering that I was very rape phobic and I was dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $10. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate informed me that he knew about the Cheeks situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Kolob Theorem". I immediately opened the book and began to read.

The first few chapters dealt with the reality of life, the universe and our place in the eternal scheme of things. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Location of the Three Degrees of Glory" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Cheeks and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.

The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Kolob Theorem" with me and when Cheeks approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck several times. The next eight weeks in solitary and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness made me realize that I do not want to spend eternity in outer darkness or away from our galactic core. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.

Kishkumen wrote:
Who knew that the life Hilton saved would be Pahoran's?