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Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:32 pm
by _The Mighty Builder
Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Number 10 - She heard that Mormon’s blindly follow the Mormon Profits advice and is hoping to get him to command Mormon to buy her latest album.

Number 9 - Loves funky underwear and “man, o’man, ain’t noth’n crazier than Mormon underwear.”

Number 8 - Misunderstood the Curse of Cain doctrine and thought the Mormon Missionaries were saying “Cousin Cain” and if Mormonism is good enough for Cousin Cain its good enough for her.

Number 7 - Loves color contrast and there is nothing more contrasting than an African American dressed in Mormon Temple clothes in the Celestial room.

Number 6 - Got tired of up-beat and snappy music and “Lawrd knows there ain’t noth’n slower than MoTab.”

Number 5 - Thought that Mitt Romney was a liberal Democrat and wanted to support his liberal agenda when he ran for President.

Number 4 - Hoping to be a door greeter at the City Creek Center Mall and heard you have a better chance of being hired in Utah if you’re a Mormon

Number 3 - Didn’t know what to do with 10% of her money

Number 2 - Was too late to join the other Celebrities and become a Scientologist

Number 1 - She’s Bat Sh*t Crazy

Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:37 pm
by _Joseph Antley
boooooooooooo.

Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:46 pm
by _Buffalo
11. Heard that Michael Jackson had benefited from joining a kooky religion, thought she'd jump on the bandwagon.

Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 7:09 pm
by _Morley
The Mighty Builder wrote:Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Number 10 - She heard that Mormon’s blindly follow the Mormon Profits advice and is hoping to get him to command Mormon to buy her latest album.

Number 9 - Loves funky underwear and “man, o’man, ain’t noth’n crazier than Mormon underwear.”

Number 8 - Misunderstood the Curse of Cain doctrine and thought the Mormon Missionaries were saying “Cousin Cain” and if Mormonism is good enough for Cousin Cain its good enough for her.

Number 7 - Loves color contrast and there is nothing more contrasting than an African American dressed in Mormon Temple clothes in the Celestial room.

Number 6 - Got tired of up-beat and snappy music and “Lawrd knows there ain’t noth’n slower than MoTab.”

Number 5 - Thought that Mitt Romney was a liberal Democrat and wanted to support his liberal agenda when he ran for President.

Number 4 - Hoping to be a door greeter at the City Creek Center Mall and heard you have a better chance of being hired in Utah if you’re a Mormon

Number 3 - Didn’t know what to do with 10% of her money

Number 2 - Was too late to join the other Celebrities and become a Scientologist

Number 1 - She’s Bat Sh*t Crazy


MB, I'm probably over-analyzing, but I found this to be mildly racist.

Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:33 am
by _hugh jass
Image

Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 4:08 am
by _quaker
It would be considered a strength to accept that you are not funny and to cease trying. It's not working for you.

<---- Has been in the same situation. Self realization is tough business.

Re: Top Ten Reasons Gladys Knight is Mormon

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:21 pm
by _Equality
I miss runtu.