The Double Standard in the LDS Law of Chastity (pic heavy)
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 4:18 pm
It is often said by Mormons that they hold homosexuals to the same standard of chastity that they hold heterosexuals. This is only true in the most narrow way. There is a double standard in place that is rarely spoken of. I don't believe that most members even think twice about the double standard or realize it is there.
First, what is the law of chastity? We can find several different versions of it in the teachings of the church. In the temple it is very basic and straightforward, no sexual relations outside of a legal marriage. We shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that this is all the LoC entails, however. The LoC demands that members refrain from masturbation, viewing pornography, sexual touching the genitals of others and all sex acts. Kissing, hand holding, hugging and clothed massages (not of genital areas) are allowed. There does seem to be a gray area for some....over-the-clothes frottage is seen by some as very against the LoC and it is also engaged in by many unmarried members with or without guilt.
The church has set as a standard or goal for all its members to get married in their temple. That means heterosexually married. The church encourages dating or courting in order that members find a spouse.
In the past, homosexuals (the church likes to use the term same-sex attracted individuals) have been encouraged to excersize enough faith that they could be cured and marry heterosexually. This has had disasterous effects on many lives.
The church now is starting to recognize that homosexuality doesn't magically change and are encouraging a life of celibacy for its homosexual members.
The double standard:
A heterosexual unmarried member is encouraged to date and get to know those of the opposite sex in order to find a life partner. They are encouraged to enjoy a variety of activities together.
A homosexual member is treated as though they have a disease or defect. They are encouraged to avoid being around others with their "problem." There is even a special recovery program run by the church (at least in my area) for homosexuals. You have to be carefully selected to be in it, though, so it doesn't lead to hook-ups.
If they did the same type of dating activities, it would look a lot like the hetero version.
It is acceptable for heterosexual couples to hug, kiss and hold hands. These acts of affection are not against the LoC.
Now, I'm pretty sure that homosexuals can hug without serious repercussion. Kissing and hand-holding I think would not be looked upon kindly. Lesbians can probably get away with a lot more affectionate touching than gay men can. Droopy has called my pictures of men kissing "gay porn" and I am not sure how many members or leaders of the church would agree with him in that assessment. We all know that a gay couple who kissed in Salt Lake were detained for "inappropriate behavior." The irony is that couples kiss routinely outside the Salt Lake Temple for pictures.
It is clear that there is a double standard in the law of chastity for unmarried members of the church. Everyone is allowed to show affection and date and choose a life partner of the opposite sex, but not everyone is allowed to show affection and date those they are attracted to and desire.
Marriage is viewed as one of the most important things someone can do in this life. However, homosexuals are not allowed, per doctrine, to marry those they are attracted to and fall in love with. They must live a life of celibacy in order to be a member of good standing.
If marriage is so good for people, why isn't it good for homosexual couples? Why can't all members practice the law of chastity within the framework of their sexuality?
First, what is the law of chastity? We can find several different versions of it in the teachings of the church. In the temple it is very basic and straightforward, no sexual relations outside of a legal marriage. We shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that this is all the LoC entails, however. The LoC demands that members refrain from masturbation, viewing pornography, sexual touching the genitals of others and all sex acts. Kissing, hand holding, hugging and clothed massages (not of genital areas) are allowed. There does seem to be a gray area for some....over-the-clothes frottage is seen by some as very against the LoC and it is also engaged in by many unmarried members with or without guilt.
The church has set as a standard or goal for all its members to get married in their temple. That means heterosexually married. The church encourages dating or courting in order that members find a spouse.
In the past, homosexuals (the church likes to use the term same-sex attracted individuals) have been encouraged to excersize enough faith that they could be cured and marry heterosexually. This has had disasterous effects on many lives.
The church now is starting to recognize that homosexuality doesn't magically change and are encouraging a life of celibacy for its homosexual members.
The double standard:
A heterosexual unmarried member is encouraged to date and get to know those of the opposite sex in order to find a life partner. They are encouraged to enjoy a variety of activities together.
A homosexual member is treated as though they have a disease or defect. They are encouraged to avoid being around others with their "problem." There is even a special recovery program run by the church (at least in my area) for homosexuals. You have to be carefully selected to be in it, though, so it doesn't lead to hook-ups.
If they did the same type of dating activities, it would look a lot like the hetero version.
It is acceptable for heterosexual couples to hug, kiss and hold hands. These acts of affection are not against the LoC.
Now, I'm pretty sure that homosexuals can hug without serious repercussion. Kissing and hand-holding I think would not be looked upon kindly. Lesbians can probably get away with a lot more affectionate touching than gay men can. Droopy has called my pictures of men kissing "gay porn" and I am not sure how many members or leaders of the church would agree with him in that assessment. We all know that a gay couple who kissed in Salt Lake were detained for "inappropriate behavior." The irony is that couples kiss routinely outside the Salt Lake Temple for pictures.
It is clear that there is a double standard in the law of chastity for unmarried members of the church. Everyone is allowed to show affection and date and choose a life partner of the opposite sex, but not everyone is allowed to show affection and date those they are attracted to and desire.
Marriage is viewed as one of the most important things someone can do in this life. However, homosexuals are not allowed, per doctrine, to marry those they are attracted to and fall in love with. They must live a life of celibacy in order to be a member of good standing.
If marriage is so good for people, why isn't it good for homosexual couples? Why can't all members practice the law of chastity within the framework of their sexuality?
