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The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:33 am
by _Darth J
Following Doctor Scratch bestowing this year's Sampson Avard Golden Scepter on Lamanite, I am pleased to announce my department's awarding of the 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility.

As with last year's winner, the Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility is given to the person who, in the view of the nominating committee at Cassius University, has best displayed utterly fatuous thinking and dazzling naïvété in Mopologetics. Considering how crowded the field is in these regards, it is truly an impressive achievement to be singled out for recognition. Thus, it is my pleasure to award the 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility to:

Wade Englund!

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A noted sexuality therapist and kayaking enthusiast, Wade Englund also makes for an interesting segue from last year's nominee, as, like Gregory L. Smith, Wade was (is?) an enthusiastic supporter of William Schyver's theories about the Kirtland Egyptian Papers, despite having no ability to articulate what exactly those theories are, or what factual support underlies them.

But this year, it was Brother Englund's singular statement on a thread on the Mormon Dialogue and Discussion board that rocketed him to the top of all contenders for this award. The thread to which I refer was started by a purported LDS seminary teacher who was asking for advice in circumventing official LDS doctrine while being paid to teach official LDS doctrine to teenagers. Here is Brother Englund's observation on the subject:

Wade Englund wrote:
I wouldn't worry in the least about teaching the so-called Old Testament literalism to seminary-aged students. Generation after generations have been raised that way without significant problems. Besides, from a developmental standpoint, seminary-aged minds can still benefit from a certain degree of fundamentalism/literalism prior to transitioning into adulthood. Often, their frontal lobes aren't developed enough to properly handle the nuances and divergence of views. And, it may be enough that our teens are under significant societal pressure as it is to grow up faster than is needed or may be healthy. So, feel free and comfortable to let them grow up slowly in this area. Just a thought.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

http://www.mormondialogue.org/topic/559 ... ogmatisms/


Yes, in only a few sentences, Wade Englund explains that official LDS doctrine is ideally suited for immature adolescents with undeveloped brains, and "generations" of people have benefited from ancient Hebrew myths and superstitions being taught as historical fact. Although he believes he is speaking in favor of the Church, in fact he is cutting right to the chase of the cloying paternalism, puerile biblical literalism, and presenting Jewish tribal folklore as actual events that we have come to know and love from the official teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That Wade apparently perceives his comments as favorable to the Church, rather than a devastating critique, is precisely the kind of naïvété and gullibility that the Martin Harris Amulet was designed to recognize.

Kudos to you, Wade Englund! I hope that the faculty, staff, students, and fans of Cassius University will join me in applauding your impressive accomplishment for this year!

You're welcome, -Darth J-

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:39 am
by _Darth J
Also, I regret that I am unable to add my compliments to the thread on which Wade Englund gave his performance that earned him this award, but evidently I have been perma-banned from the Mormon Dialogue and Discussion board, as once I log in I am now given a message that I do not have permission to view anything, including my own profile.

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:46 am
by _Sethbag
Omg, Wade actually wrote that?

ROFL! That is Priceless, and may I say this award was so richly deserved!

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:13 am
by _Doctor Scratch
It's marvelous that the donations to our endowment at Cassius have grown to such an extent that we're able to bestow generous awards like this. Kudos to Mr. Englund on his accomplishment. I'm sure he'll place his award on the mantel right next to the "Liahona Award" that was given to him by FAIR just prior to his getting temporarily banned from that organization. And, of course, his work for CSSAD was unparalleled. Not that I would support giving him an award on the basis of that, but you know what I mean. So, congrats, Wade!

(Incidentally, didn't our English or Languages department also bestow an honor on him for his inquiries into an entirely new branch of language--spoken only by him--called "Englush"?)

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:45 am
by _Yoda
Scratch wrote:(Incidentally, didn't our English or Languages department also bestow an honor on him for his inquiries into an entirely new branch of language--spoken only by him--called "Englush"?)


OK, Scratch...I literally LOL'd at this one! I'm sure that Blixa will, too! :-)

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:56 pm
by _Everybody Wang Chung
Ladies and gentlemen and distinguished professors of Cassius,

Wade England is unable to attend tonight's ceremony as he is meeting someone from match.com (actually a sofa and a bottle of lotion) but he has asked me to say a few words on his behalf.

Before I talk about our award recipient, Wade England, I’d like to introduce several people who admire and revere him. And since I couldn't find anyone like that, I will just skip this part.

Some people might say that Wade's reality check bounced or that he has a very noble purpose in life - to serve as a warning to others. Still, others say that Wade always has an answer for everything...the wrong one.

However, I would like to talk to you tonight about the real Wade that I have come to know and love. I've always tried to see things from Wade's point of view, but most of the time I just can't stick my head that far up my rear.

But seriously folks, Wade is is good at everything he does. Unfortunately, Wade doesn't do anything. Congratulations Wade. You're really special. And I mean that in the Olympic way.

Thank you folks, I will be here until Tuesday and try the veal.

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:11 pm
by _DrW
When I first saw the Wade Englund post on the MADBoard about the benefits of teaching ancient and blatently false Hebrew myths to adolescents in the Church, I did a double take. The thread is loaded with bizarre statements and opinions, but Englund's is the clear winner.

If he had any sense whatsoever, he would go back and delete it. Writings like that that can follow a person around causing personal embarrassment for a long, long time.

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:42 pm
by _Blixa
liz3564 wrote:
Scratch wrote:(Incidentally, didn't our English or Languages department also bestow an honor on him for his inquiries into an entirely new branch of language--spoken only by him--called "Englush"?)


OK, Scratch...I literally LOL'd at this one! I'm sure that Blixa will, too! :-)


Natürlich!

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:34 pm
by _Dr. Shades
I'm sure I speak for the entire Department of Linguistics here at Cassius University as I join Darth J in enthusiastically congratulating Brother Englund for his ever-so-richly-deserved award!

Many skilled parodists and witty satirists couldn't've come up with a response akin to Wade's no matter how hard they tried and no matter how much time they put into the effort. The fact that Brother Englund could do it off-the-cuff, and in the matter of mere minutes at most, is a lasting testament to his . . . uh, something.

Doctor Scratch wrote:(Incidentally, didn't our English or Languages department also bestow an honor on him for his inquiries into an entirely new branch of language--spoken only by him--called "Englush"?)

Oh, the honor was an oblique one. We in the Department of Linguistics are still negotiating for a government grant to study and categorize this exciting and unique (if bizarre) evolving branch of the English language.

Re: The 2011 Martin Harris Amulet of Gullibility Award

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 9:45 am
by _Tator
DrW wrote:If he had any sense whatsoever, he would go back and delete it. Writings like that that can follow a person around causing personal embarrassment for a long, long time.


Good advice DrW you can lead a man to knowledge but you can't make him think!