A Conservative view of Sex, QnA

[_MrStakhanovite]

I self identify as a conservative when it comes to a number of issues, and a common request I get in chat in PMs is to express my views, because people are curious what they are as opposed to say, Droopy. I hesitate to post on this subject for a few reasons, but against those judgments, I’ve decided to lay out a conservative understanding of human sexuality.

First, sex is not about tactile sensations or procreation, those are merely side effects in the pursuit of a higher goal, one of a union with another. Sex is a desire for a person as a whole other, not just their body, another being who completes your whole identity. You cannot be alone when you stand in the presence of another, you can choose to ignore them and pretend they are not there, but you are not alone.

This union is about submission of both partners, giving themselves over to one another in an act of total surrender and reciprocity, which generates the fierce emotions of love, jealously, and sometimes, fear.

If the above description is sex, then the pursuit of sensations is merely masturbation. Casual sex is just intricate mutual masturbation, preformed for a few fleeting moments of orgasm. The erotic is sex, the pornographic is masturbation.

Sex as described above is a moral act. Masturbation is a neutral act, which is a necessary part of being a human being. That doesn’t stop forms of masturbation from becoming immoral.

To keep this post from becoming a Wall of Text, I’m going to give my opinions of subjects, and then field questions from people who want me to explain more. I can’t really anticipate what people will want to know.

Gay Marriage? Yes, I’m Pro-Family, and I think same sex couples can create wonderful family environments. I’m old fashioned, and think that if children have two, loving, stable parents to raise them is ideal.

So GLBT is okay? Yes, I’m strongly for monogamous couples, same sex or not. It’s casual sex I think of as immoral.

Polygamy? No, my understanding of human nature leads me to believe it can’t be done well. I’d decriminalize it, but I would discourage it.

Note to Droopy: Notice how I made a positive case without having to rant against the sexual liberation of the 60s, or make one mention of Satan?

[_MsJack]

Stak ~ Thanks for starting this thread. I'll go first.

What are your feelings on . . .

Open Marriages?

Saving sex until marriage?

Covenant Marriages?

Divorce?

[_Rambo]

It’s casual sex I think of as immoral.

Why is it immoral when it is 2 consenting adults?

[_Morley]

Stak- For clarification: How is your manifesto 'conservative'? (I'm not insinuating that it's 'liberal,' either.)

[_Chap]

I don't want to raise any objection about what MrStakhanovite has to say about sex.

I'd just like to say that it seems to me probable that when he has lived for a few more decades he may find himself less clear about what sex is or is not than he seems to be today. (But of course he did say that he hesitated before posting his views, and he does not say that everybody has to think the same way that he does. So I don't want to seem grouchy.)

[_Ceeboo]

Hey Stak (Hope all is well) :)

Because you never know if my Priest might be reading this very thread, I will simply offer the following.

It has always been my pleasure to view sex (conservative or not)

Peace,
Ceeboo

[_MrStakhanovite]

Open Marriages?

I think they are immoral because it violates the intimacy and safety*, but I don’t equate my morality with legality, so I’m opposed in principle, but not in practice.

* By safety I mean the emotional security of both partners.

Saving sex until marriage?

Noble idea, but I think in today’s culture, biology rushes young people in marriage because they want to experience sex, and not out of a desire to be in an established relationship, which requires a great deal of work to maintain.

I’d advice teenagers to wait until they are in their early 20s before having sex, when they are capable of having some kind of stable relationship away from their parent’s roof.

Covenant Marriages?

No idea what you mean here.

Divorce?

Sad fact of life. In some cases, you just have to let people make their mistakes and learn. I’d hold fathers far more accountable in the case of dead beats, but I’m more worried about the kids of single mothers than I am about people who marry on a whim.

[_Hoops]

I'd just like to say that it seems to me probable that when he has lived for a few more decades he may find himself less clear about what sex is or is not than he seems to be today.

Oh goodness... really? That's what you have to offer? That Stak needs to wise up?

Wow!

[_MrStakhanovite]

Stak- For clarification: How is your manifesto 'conservative'? (I'm not insinuating that it's 'liberal,' either.)

I think it's conservative because I heavily favor traditional monogamous couples, who don’t have sex outside the relationship. I view most Pornography as crass and can be damaging to someone’s sexuality. I hate it when promiscuity is exalted in pop culture, and the notion that “hook ups” are some how cool.

I don’t like deviant sexualities where people have sex with animals, and I don’t like religions who promote or have promoted deviant practices, like polygamy.

[_MrStakhanovite]

It’s casual sex I think of as immoral.

Why is it immoral when it is 2 consenting adults?

I take that back, I don't think there is such a thing as casual sex. It either costs one of the participants more than they bargained for, or it was just masturbation, and you turn a fellow human being into some kind of object that enabled you to get your due, so to speak.