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Since moving out of Utah, we have not yet been visited by the bishopric. I was shopping at the grocery store tonight feeling very nice after my experience at mass. I haven't felt so calm in a very long time. I pull into our cul-de-sac and guess what I find? A BMW and Lexus in my driveway. I guessed immediately who it must be: members of our Ward's bishopric. I carried my groceries in (which included some Heinekens) and found that sure enough, two men in suits were in the living room visiting with my wife. I found that they had been talking with her for quite a while. This is what I found:

Our records were sent to the wrong ward and remained undiscovered until my wife went to the ward for the first time today. Even though she didn't visit with the bishopric at church, her new friend met with them after she came home. The bishop called our Utah bishop's wife and had a long talk about us. He was told that we were one of the "strongest families" in the ward and that many, many prayers were being offered to get us back in the fold. Why do Mormons have to use that word, "strongest" to describe people? I don't like it.

my wife told me the bishop started to cry right before I got home. It made her very uncomfortable.

You know that part of the movie "Finding Nemo" when a big, scary fish swims in front of Marlin and he says, "Good feeling's gone"? Well, that is how I felt after we started chatting. I could tell they were very sad we weren't active and seemed very uncomfortable. They wanted to say so much and I wanted the conversation to be over. I kept having to say, "No, we are doing just fine. Thanks anyway."

To be unequally yoked is a sad and pathetic situation.

quark wrote:Since moving out of Utah, we have not yet been visited by the bishopric. I was shopping at the grocery store tonight feeling very nice after my experience at mass. I haven't felt so calm in a very long time. I pull into our cul-de-sac and guess what I find? A BMW and Lexus in my driveway. I guessed immediately who it must be: members of our Ward's bishopric.
You know that part of the movie "Finding Nemo" when a big, scary fish swims in front of Marlin and he says, "Good feeling's gone"? Well, that is how I felt after we started chatting.

You could try going to Mass tomorrow morning, it's different than Sunday but you can go everyday.

café,

I didn't know that! Unfortunately, I will be at work.

Funny, I wanted to tell the bishop and his counselor what a wonderful experience I had today. Darn it- I should have.

quark wrote:
You know that part of the movie "Finding Nemo" when a big, scary fish swims in front of Marlin and he says, "Good feeling's gone"? Well, that is how I felt after we started chatting. I could tell they were very sad we weren't active and seemed very uncomfortable. They wanted to say so much and I wanted the conversation to be over. I kept having to say, "No, we are doing just fine. Thanks anyway."

Well, here is the bright side: they cared enough about you and your wife to pay you a visit and to welcome you to church. And in the end, that is what the gospel is all about. I have no idea why people such as yourself find this to be very unusual and a discomfort. I would think that you would be grateful. However, if you tell them that you don't want to be bothered anymore, they will leave you alone. No problem. Or you can have your names removed from the rolls. However, don't dump on people who just meant well.

Quark,

Have you ever tried the message boards at [url]newordermormon.org[/url]? There are literally dozens of people that post over there in exactly the same situation as you in life -- one TBM, one disillusioned, trying to make things work.

It might be more fun for you to post over there and talk to people with similar experiences, as opposed to putting up with the antics of people like BCSpace and Whyme.

why me wrote:

quark wrote:
You know that part of the movie "Finding Nemo" when a big, scary fish swims in front of Marlin and he says, "Good feeling's gone"? Well, that is how I felt after we started chatting. I could tell they were very sad we weren't active and seemed very uncomfortable. They wanted to say so much and I wanted the conversation to be over. I kept having to say, "No, we are doing just fine. Thanks anyway."

Well, here is the bright side: they cared enough about you and your wife to pay you a visit and to welcome you to church. And in the end, that is what the gospel is all about. I have no idea why people such as yourself find this to be very unusual and a discomfort. I would think that you would be grateful. However, if you tell them that you don't want to be bothered anymore, they will leave you alone. No problem. Or you can have your names removed from the rolls. However, don't dump on people who just meant well.

Why Me,
I think you raise a fair challenge.
However, unfortunately for this well meaning Bishopric, Mormons are notorious for not taking 'no' for an answer. Perhaps quark is tarring them unnecessarily with the same brush. Perhaps they will turn out to be the reasonable people you describe. Unfortunately anecdotal statistics are not on your side.
But I agree - if people are trying to be well meaning then give them the benefit of the doubt the first time.

Drifting wrote:
Why Me,
I think you raise a fair challenge.
However, unfortunately for this well meaning Bishopric, Mormons are notorious for not taking 'no' for an answer. Perhaps quark is tarring them unnecessarily with the same brush. Perhaps they will turn out to be the reasonable people you describe. Unfortunately anecdotal statistics are not on your side.
But I agree - if people are trying to be well meaning then give them the benefit of the doubt the first time.

In most cases, people are extremely busy to be worried about those who longer want to come. True, the bishop will come for a visit to find out what is the story but after the first visit I don't think that he will bother with quark and his family. Now of course, if quark does not say anything about home teaching, his home teachers may come around. But once a member tells the bishop that he or she no longer wants to be involved, no one will bother.

why me wrote:

Drifting wrote:
Why Me,
I think you raise a fair challenge.
However, unfortunately for this well meaning Bishopric, Mormons are notorious for not taking 'no' for an answer. Perhaps quark is tarring them unnecessarily with the same brush. Perhaps they will turn out to be the reasonable people you describe. Unfortunately anecdotal statistics are not on your side.
But I agree - if people are trying to be well meaning then give them the benefit of the doubt the first time.

In most cases, people are extremely busy to be worried about those who longer want to come. True, the bishop will come for a visit to find out what is the story but after the first visit I don't think that he will bother with quark and his family. Now of course, if quark does not say anything about home teaching, his home teachers may come around. But once a member tells the bishop that he or she no longer wants to be involved, no one will bother.

I think most people want it to be the way you describe.

Drifting wrote:
I think most people want it to be the way you describe.

Also, outside the Mormon corridor, it takes gas money to visit wayward members. No one wants to head to someone's home, spend the gas money and not be allowed in. It has nothing to do about caring for the person but time is precious these days and bishops have enough on the plate to be bothered.

It is interesting that quark is interested in the catholic mass. I was born catholic and I do go to the catholic church. But if I weren't born catholic and converted to mormonims, I don't think that I could attend the catholic church because the situation is the same. Mormons have a prophet and catholics have a pope. And when it comes to history, catholic history is not that faith promoting. Also, a devout catholic is more than just a sunday mass goer. One must go to masses of obligation, go on retreats, take an occasional pilgrimage, say the rosary, and have a religious statue in the home or a crucifix over the bed. One knows when one is in a catholic's home.