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The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:00 pm
by _Everybody Wang Chung
In response to my Christmas Letter, Nemesis has just posted his. Not very funny, if you ask me.

http://www.mormondialogue.org/topic/56342-mdds-moderation-team-top-15-goals-for-2012/page_pid_1209068156#entry1209068156

Nemesis wrote:In the holiday spirit of MDB's top 10 lists on how the church and this board are so evil we felt it would be better if we expressed next years goals we as a Moderation team have set to improve on from this past year.


Top 15 Goals MDD Mods have for 2012

15. Cause 5 more meltdowns at MDB by using telepathy amplified by black helicopters.
14. Due to our high traffic start a new ultra private board called "The Smorgasboard" where only the people I like are invited.
13. Find 5 more ways to troll MDB from the safety of MDD.
12. Install an easy button for instant board shutdown at the COB.
11. Attend 5 more reprogramming sessions from the Oaks Faction.
10. Unban 5 MDB posters than randomly ban them again just for fun.
9. Force those that want to post more than 5 posts a day to write a modern tragedy about how banning ruins lives.
8. Then make it into a movie called "The Ban Games" starring an ensemble cast from the MDB Trailer Park.
7. Create new opportunities for Liz to post her ban story again and again and again just so she can say she's moved on.
6. Continue to expose MDB and Jason's misogyny, but comments like "Release the Kraken" from this thread make it easier.
5. Start using Misandry as a reason to ban more people and tell them they've been MsJack'd.
4. Create 5 more sockpuppets to act as Doctor Scratch's creepy informants.
3. Revamp our ban function to send banned posters directly to the Trailer Park.
2. Completely dominate all rather than only half the discussion at MDB by mid-July
1. Upping our Ban Quota 30% from last year as per agreement with the Oaks faction.

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:07 pm
by _just me
You're such a trendsetter!

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:07 pm
by _Sethbag
I dunno, some of those were funny. Consistency was a problem, but there were undoubtedly some good ones.

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:09 pm
by _Chap
Nemesis trying to be witty is like a moose trying to tap-dance.

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:10 pm
by _Buffalo
Some were somewhat funny. I was pleasantly surprised. But TBMs, like political conservatives, struggle with humor. Humor is the domain of apostates and liberals.

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:11 pm
by _Ceeboo
Nemesis celebrates Christmas?

That's odd.

Peace,
Ceeboo

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:17 pm
by _Hoops
Buffalo wrote: like political conservatives, struggle with humor. Humor is the domain of apostates and liberals.

That's not funny!!

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:20 pm
by _CaliforniaKid
Hoops wrote:That's not funny!!

I laughed. :)

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:34 pm
by _Dr. Shades
Nemesis wrote:3. Revamp our ban function to send banned posters directly to the Trailer Park.

I'd actually welcome that.

Re: The Real Christmas Letter From Nemesis

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:38 pm
by _MsJack
Hi Nemesis,

I haven't mentioned you or given you any thought since your "neighborhood watch / meme generator" fiasco in June, but it's nice to know that you're still thinking about me. It sounds like you're one of many people who like to think about and talk about me when I haven't reciprocated the interest. I wish all of you the best of luck with that.

by the way, "MsJack'ed" is already a verb, only one with a definition that actually makes sense. Happy to bring you up to speed!

Cheers,
~ Ms. Jack ~