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Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:31 am
by _sock puppet
I have mocked the LDS "prophets, seers and revelators" in many, many ways.
How come the Old Testament God hasn't unleased she-bears on me?
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:50 am
by _moksha
sock puppet wrote:How come the Old Testament God hasn't unleased she-bears on me?
He is waiting for you to honestly answer your wife, when she asks you how she looks in her new skinny jeans.
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:51 am
by _Fence Sitter
sock puppet wrote:I have mocked the LDS "prophets, seers and revelators" in many, many ways.
How come the Old Testament God hasn't unleased she-bears on me?
Maybe if you were to suggest a years supply of minoxidil in the 1st presidency's vault you might get better results. It has been clinically tested.
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:54 am
by _harmony
sock puppet wrote:I have mocked the LDS "prophets, seers and revelators" in many, many ways.
How come the Old Testament God hasn't unleased she-bears on me?
They're an endangered species. Maybe you could get by with she-mice?
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:57 am
by _Hoops
Maybe you have too much hair still?
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:49 am
by _sock puppet
moksha wrote:sock puppet wrote:How come the Old Testament God hasn't unleased she-bears on me?
He is waiting for you to honestly answer your wife, when she asks you how she looks in her new skinny jeans.
Honestly, Penguin, she looks extremely hot when she wears skinny jeans--about three days a week. If it were up to me, it would be seven days a week.
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:52 am
by _sock puppet
Hoops wrote:Maybe you have too much hair still?
I think I know 6 other posters here who have met me in person who would dispel that I yet have too much hair by any standard. But, hoops, I thank you for the kind implication.
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:53 am
by _sock puppet
harmony wrote:sock puppet wrote:I have mocked the LDS "prophets, seers and revelators" in many, many ways.
How come the Old Testament God hasn't unleased she-bears on me?
They're an endangered species. Maybe you could get by with she-mice?
Egads, harmony. Death by a thousand cuts--er, a thousand mice bites. I'd rather be attacked by she-bears, truly.
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:53 am
by _harmony
sock puppet wrote:Honestly, Penguin, she looks extremely hot when she wears skinny jeans--about three days a week. If it were up to me, it would be seven days a week.
Obviously not a student at BYU-I.
Re: Where are God's she-bears when He needs them?
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:57 am
by _sock puppet
harmony wrote:sock puppet wrote:Honestly, Penguin, she looks extremely hot when she wears skinny jeans--about three days a week. If it were up to me, it would be seven days a week.
Obviously not a student at BYU-I.
No. At my age, I'd get arrested if she were. She is only 3 1/2 years younger than me, but people that don't know will often assume she is my daughter. We go to the same opthamologist every year for eye check ups. When she's done with her appointment, she makes one for me. The doctor comments every year on what a lovely daughter I have. I wish I had the same anti-aging genes that she does.