The Miracle of Forgiveyourself
Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:52 am
While on my mission, I got myself into a real problem. A year earlier, as I was preparing to go out to the field, I repented of my horrible sins. I had finally confessed to a bishop after 5 long years of mental turmoil. Upon feeling forgiven, I was like a new man. Free at last, free at last. The day I left for the best two years, was the high point of my testimony in the LDS gospel. Never before did I feel so sanctified and glorified and ready to teach people the Lord's truth. These feelings were linked with an iron chain to my repentance.
Then, 1.5 years into my mission, I did it again. How mortified I was! This was supposed to be gone from my life forever. Richard G Scott promised me I could overcome! WTH?
My mind was wracked with torment for a month. There was gnashing of teeth in my dreams.
Finally, I mustered up enough strength to confess to the mission president. Upon telling him of my crimes against God, he said one thing: "You need to forgive yourself and move on."
Here I was, in tears, left wondering what to think of an answer so unexpected. That's it? No power of God to zap me clean? No repentance process? Just forgive myself?
Interestingly, I was a little disappointed that there wasn't more pomp and circumstance. I guess that is the miracle: the miracle of Forgiveyourself.
Then, 1.5 years into my mission, I did it again. How mortified I was! This was supposed to be gone from my life forever. Richard G Scott promised me I could overcome! WTH?
My mind was wracked with torment for a month. There was gnashing of teeth in my dreams.
Finally, I mustered up enough strength to confess to the mission president. Upon telling him of my crimes against God, he said one thing: "You need to forgive yourself and move on."
Here I was, in tears, left wondering what to think of an answer so unexpected. That's it? No power of God to zap me clean? No repentance process? Just forgive myself?
Interestingly, I was a little disappointed that there wasn't more pomp and circumstance. I guess that is the miracle: the miracle of Forgiveyourself.