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Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:47 am
by _zeezrom
...Most want to go on a date with? Assume you are single and the Biblical person is paying. Please tell us what activities you would like to do on your date. Remember, this is a first date so be realistic. I will be generous and expand the scope of this question to include the standard works of Mormonism.
I'll go first. I choose Eve. She would be fully clothed, having already eaten the fruit of that tree, etc. I can't think of a more interesting person in the scriptures. We will start off by visiting some nice gardens along the coast and she will tell me about her favorite plants. We will sit next to a statue of Neptune and Amphitrite and talk about pie and other cool foods. Then we will head over to a place to eat seafood, followed by a stroll down 1st street, window shopping. Maybe we'll visit a used book store. We'll end the date at a piano bar sipping decaf coffee.
You?
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 7:02 am
by _Morley
zeezrom wrote:...Most want to go on a date with? Assume you are single and the Biblical person is paying. Please tell us what activities you would like to do on your date. Remember, this is a first date so be realistic. I will be generous and expand the scope of this question to include the standard works of Mormonism.
I'll go first. I choose Eve. She would be fully clothed, having already eaten the fruit of that tree, etc. I can't think of a more interesting person in the scriptures. We will start off by visiting some nice gardens along the coast and she will tell me about her favorite plants. We will sit next to a statue of Neptune and Amphitrite and talk about pie and other cool foods. Then we will head over to a place to eat seafood, followed by a stroll down 1st street, window shopping. Maybe we'll visit a used book store. We'll end the date at a piano bar sipping decaf coffee.
You?
Wouldn't that be a little like dating your mother?
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 7:06 am
by _zeezrom
Well, yeah if I dated the LDS version of Eve. That's not the Eve I have in mind. I have discovered a new Eve since abandoning my childhood religion. :)
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 7:10 am
by _ludwigm
zeezrom wrote:...Most want to go on a date with?
Bath-sheba. She washed herself, something rarity in biblical times.
And David sent messengers [1], and took her; and she came [2] in unto him, and he lay [3] with her;
No nice gardens, no eating, no shopping, no piano bar (at that time there was only David's harp), no nothing.
[1] The messengers are to handle the case.
[2] She took the words the king's (my) words as scripture.
[3] The chambermaids are to prepare the place to lay with.
The life was more simple at that times. Especially for the kings. Who I was then.
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 3:21 pm
by _zeezrom
Clarification: It would still be fun to date someone *like* my mother but not my real mother that would be kookie. Well, this person would have to be accepting of my leaving Mormonism, which my real mother is not.
For some reason, I now imagine Eve as this person who has a lot of interesting things to say. She seems like she must be slightly melancholy with a twist of cynicism and naughtiness. In short, a most fascinating person.
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 3:23 pm
by _sock puppet
The hottest one that didn't get suckered in by the religious myths, that's the one I'd want to date.
You tell me which one that would be, zeezrom.
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 3:36 pm
by _Chap
zeezrom wrote:...Most want to go on a date with? Assume you are single and the Biblical person is paying. ...
I'll go first. I choose Eve. ....
Look, if there was an Eve, she was something like your great^240-grandmother[*]. That's 240 times more creepy than wanting a date with your Mom. Don't go there.
[*]Calculation based on her having lived 6000 years ago, counting 25 years per generation.
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 3:48 pm
by _zeezrom
Sock,
Mary wasn't duped. And she was hot.
Chap,
Details, details! It's like talking to an engineer! I do that all day. :)
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:48 pm
by _DarkHelmet
Can we do more than one at the same time? I would want to hook up with Lot's daughters.
Re: Which Biblical person would you...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 5:32 pm
by _LDSToronto
I'll take any of the number of whores and harlots mentioned in the Bible.
H.