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A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:02 pm
by _consiglieri
My 23-year old daughter is home for the holidays from another state where she has graduated college with two majors (psychology and sociology) and a minor (history).

Several years ago, she pretty much stopped going to church, though raised LDS and very studious, active and believing until then.

The reasons for her inactivity have been kept from me for some reason, perhaps having something to do with the fact I am her step-father.

Anyway, I thought I would try to broach the subject with her last night and, inasmuch as I have reason to believe her inactivity is largely due to the second-class status of women in the Mormon Church, I brought up the tangentially related subject of the priesthood ban on blacks.

I told her it was instituted by Brigham Young and went back over a bit of the history, asking her the old chestnut about when blacks first received the priesthood, and surprising her with the answer of 1836.

As I had hoped, she made the segue herself into the inferior role of Mormon women, and we talked for some time about it.

Her main question is, "Where is God in all of this?"

If God is in charge of the LDS Church, and has apostles and prophets at its head for the primary purpose of communicating his will, how come he didn't set them straight about the blacks, and how come he doesn't set them straight about women?

I think she was expecting some "Sunday school" answer from me, but I only said that it is a very difficult question. (She kept looking at me as if she expected me to answer it.)

I told her I don't know the answer, but I can sure understand her concerns, and that I share them, as well.

As to the priesthood ban on blacks, I told her I could prove it was about race and not about the priesthood. "How?" she asked. "Because black women couldn't go to the temple."

As to putting women beneath men, I told her the Church has done this with Heavenly Mother, as well. We virtually never hear about her in church, and certainly never in General Conference, even though we should talk about her at least as much as Heavenly Father. (And at least on Mother's Day.) She seems to have been relegated to the Celestial Kingdom's equivalent of the kitchen or the bedroom.

I think my daughter was surprised to hear me be so supportive of her plight. I suggested she might take a look at the Feminist Mormon Housewives

As she was leaving to go out with a friend for the evening, I whispered to her at the front door not to tell anybody about what I had said to her. "We're everywhere," I said. "We're working from within."

She laughed as she left.

So, now to the point. Any advice?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:09 pm
by _just me
What a wonderful conversation!

I have no advice as I really don't even know what I am doing. LOL

I think the important part is that you have broken the ice and hopefully she will feel that you are a safe person she can talk to about her beliefs and feelings.

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:11 pm
by _why me
The question eventually comes down to the Book of Mormon. Is it true or not? And did the witnesses tell the truth about what they saw and felt with their hands. All else comes second to those questions.

I don't see women playing a secondary role at all in church. They are pretty educated and strong minded. And they have their own organization to get together and talk things over. To believe that most priesthood holders have the power don't know women very well. In the LDS church the man has the head but the woman has the neck.

Also, what is your wife's opinion about women in the church? She may have been a good one to have your dauther have a talk with.

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:15 pm
by _just me
In the LDS church the man has the head but the woman has the neck.


*vomit* Do you not realize how sexist and degrading this sentence is?

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:19 pm
by _MrStakhanovite
consiglieri wrote:Any advice?


Tell her to post here.

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:20 pm
by _Zelder
consiglieri wrote: "We're everywhere," I said. "We're working from within."

--Consiglieri


I love it and that's how I feel too. I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bath water. The president of the church is not some kind of mircophone through which god speaks. They don't have the answers either. I still believe in God though and I believe there is a lot of good in the church and my kids will be better off with the church than without. If people like us quit the church then they loose big. They need us even if they don't know it.

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:23 pm
by _why me
consiglieri wrote:
Anyway, I thought I would try to broach the subject with her last night and, inasmuch as I have reason to believe her inactivity is largely due to the second-class status of women in the Mormon Church, I brought up the tangentially related subject of the priesthood ban on blacks.

I told her it was instituted by Brigham Young and went back over a bit of the history, asking her the old chestnut about when blacks first received the priesthood, and surprising her with the answer of 1836.

So, now to the point. Any advice?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri


You can show her these pictures from the congo:

http://grammyandpapafrogley.blogspot.co ... iling.html

Ask her what do these people know that she doesn't. It seems that the priesthood ban has no affect on these people in the blog.

You can also show her these videos:

http://www.blacklds.org/mormon-africa

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:25 pm
by _MrStakhanovite
Because, God knows, the converts in the Congo are getting the full story about the Church and its history.

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:25 pm
by _why me
Zelder wrote:
consiglieri wrote: "We're everywhere," I said. "We're working from within."

--Consiglieri


I love it and that's how I feel too. I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bath water. The president of the church is not some kind of mircophone through which god speaks. They don't have the answers either. .


They have more answers than you think. If people would follow their advice, our world would be a better place.

Re: A Talk Last Night With My Daughter

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 11:27 pm
by _why me
MrStakhanovite wrote:Because, God knows, the converts in the Congo are getting the full story about the Church and its history.


They look very happy. Are you so happy?