I TRULY LOVE THE CHURCH....BUT...
Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:06 pm
I do not hate the LDS Church. I LOVE it! I love the concept of going on missions, self-sacrifice, non-smoking, non-drinking, morality, honesty. Living Prophets with up-to-date Revelation. I LOVE it!
Before my mission, I had very much wanted to become an Institute Instructor. Working for CES would have been a beautiful thing for me, because I'm a very IMpractical man. I'm no good with business, no good with cards, no good with building things. Very impractical for the REAL world. I love the realm of thought and philosophy. Teaching the Gospel for a living would have been wonderful. True, I'm not a morning person, but I would have done anything to work for CES for 30 years. That would have been absolutely TOTALLY awesome!
I would have put my own "spin" on things, a little bit. I would NOT have towed the Party-line completely. I would have taught more what the Book of Mormon actually teaches, than what the Correlation Committee teaches. I would have probably been warned a few times to "stick with the cirriculum. I may have been fired, but I would have walked a fine line. For example:
*When the manuals taught there was no physical death before Adam Fell, I would say: "In my opinion, students, the Fall of Adam had no effect upon our physical world, but upon the Spirit-World".
*When the manuals taught that Noah's flood covered the entire planet, I would have suggested it was a local event, since 'eretz' ("earth") does not mean planet, but "land".
*When the manuals taught that we are all the sons and daughters of God, I would have taught what the Book of Mormon actually says: that we are NOT the sons and daughters of God until we have been born again.
*When the manuals would "suggest" that God the Father and Mary had physical relations to produce the body of Jesus, I would have taught what the Book of Mormon says: that Mary is called a "virgin" both before and after the conception and birth of Jesus.
*etc.
Again, I may have been fired for this, but that is what I would have done, because I could not possible stomach when the manuals teach false doctrines. Hopefully, if my supervisors in CES was NOT McConkites, then I would have been allowed some lee-way.
BUT.....this was not to be. Unfortunately. I lost faith in Church leaders on my mission, after another missionary read from McConkie's "Mormon DOCTRINE" that God begot Jesus wit Mary in the same manner that a mortal man begets a mortal son. I was completely and utterly DEVASTATED!!!!!!
Yes, I know that American Indians are NOT Lamanites. I know they are NOT the sons of Lehi the Jew and Ishmael the Arab. I would have looked upon the Book of Mormon as a parable, inspired story, not literal history. The book is actually an excellent "mortality story". Its not written well. But, the TRUTHS it teaches are profound! And, very true.
I believe that whoever wrote THE Book of Mormon was inspired of God, because the book is true! NOT because it is historical (it is NOT), but because it accurately depicts human nature. If Joseph Smith wrote the book, he was inspired to do so. I mean that seriously. Whoever wrote it had a LIFETIME of observing human nature. I can't see how a young man could have done it.
Whoever wrote it, Solomon Spaulding, or Sidney Rigdon, or Ethan Smith, or a combination of them all, its "inspired" in that it accurately reveals the "nature" of human beings. How wealth leads to pride and haughtiness and then all manner of sins. How the rich despise the poor. I SAW THIS IN THE Mormons THEMSELVES! Over and over again.
I LOVE the Church! But I don't love the hypocrisy...which is MASSIVE. I don't love how Church leaders LIE, COVER-UP the sins of their own blood relatives, LIE AGAIN, etc. I DO NOT LIKE being treated as an "inferior" by Mormons because I was poor. I don't like all those things. But, I love the "concept" of the Church. The concept of it......self-less service to others, honesty, morality, phyiscal and mental purity...is extremely attractive to my sort of personality. But, I just don't love the REALITY of Mormon culture.
Somewhere, in another universe, Darrick Evenson is called to a mission in Mexico or Latin America or Russia instead of among wealthy Mormons in California. His Mission inspires him, instead of disillusions him. He comes back, goes to school, then goes to BYU, finds a NON-fat woman to marry, gets hires as a Seminary Teacher, works in Burley Idaho for 10 years, then gets a Masters degree, gets hired as an Institute Instructor in Denver Colorado. Ahhhhhh..........in some other Universe, Darrick Evenson has grand-children by now, and is a very happy, contented, man. I wish I could trade places with that other Darrick in that other parallel universe, if only for a day.
Before my mission, I had very much wanted to become an Institute Instructor. Working for CES would have been a beautiful thing for me, because I'm a very IMpractical man. I'm no good with business, no good with cards, no good with building things. Very impractical for the REAL world. I love the realm of thought and philosophy. Teaching the Gospel for a living would have been wonderful. True, I'm not a morning person, but I would have done anything to work for CES for 30 years. That would have been absolutely TOTALLY awesome!
I would have put my own "spin" on things, a little bit. I would NOT have towed the Party-line completely. I would have taught more what the Book of Mormon actually teaches, than what the Correlation Committee teaches. I would have probably been warned a few times to "stick with the cirriculum. I may have been fired, but I would have walked a fine line. For example:
*When the manuals taught there was no physical death before Adam Fell, I would say: "In my opinion, students, the Fall of Adam had no effect upon our physical world, but upon the Spirit-World".
*When the manuals taught that Noah's flood covered the entire planet, I would have suggested it was a local event, since 'eretz' ("earth") does not mean planet, but "land".
*When the manuals taught that we are all the sons and daughters of God, I would have taught what the Book of Mormon actually says: that we are NOT the sons and daughters of God until we have been born again.
*When the manuals would "suggest" that God the Father and Mary had physical relations to produce the body of Jesus, I would have taught what the Book of Mormon says: that Mary is called a "virgin" both before and after the conception and birth of Jesus.
*etc.
Again, I may have been fired for this, but that is what I would have done, because I could not possible stomach when the manuals teach false doctrines. Hopefully, if my supervisors in CES was NOT McConkites, then I would have been allowed some lee-way.
BUT.....this was not to be. Unfortunately. I lost faith in Church leaders on my mission, after another missionary read from McConkie's "Mormon DOCTRINE" that God begot Jesus wit Mary in the same manner that a mortal man begets a mortal son. I was completely and utterly DEVASTATED!!!!!!
Yes, I know that American Indians are NOT Lamanites. I know they are NOT the sons of Lehi the Jew and Ishmael the Arab. I would have looked upon the Book of Mormon as a parable, inspired story, not literal history. The book is actually an excellent "mortality story". Its not written well. But, the TRUTHS it teaches are profound! And, very true.
I believe that whoever wrote THE Book of Mormon was inspired of God, because the book is true! NOT because it is historical (it is NOT), but because it accurately depicts human nature. If Joseph Smith wrote the book, he was inspired to do so. I mean that seriously. Whoever wrote it had a LIFETIME of observing human nature. I can't see how a young man could have done it.
Whoever wrote it, Solomon Spaulding, or Sidney Rigdon, or Ethan Smith, or a combination of them all, its "inspired" in that it accurately reveals the "nature" of human beings. How wealth leads to pride and haughtiness and then all manner of sins. How the rich despise the poor. I SAW THIS IN THE Mormons THEMSELVES! Over and over again.
I LOVE the Church! But I don't love the hypocrisy...which is MASSIVE. I don't love how Church leaders LIE, COVER-UP the sins of their own blood relatives, LIE AGAIN, etc. I DO NOT LIKE being treated as an "inferior" by Mormons because I was poor. I don't like all those things. But, I love the "concept" of the Church. The concept of it......self-less service to others, honesty, morality, phyiscal and mental purity...is extremely attractive to my sort of personality. But, I just don't love the REALITY of Mormon culture.
Somewhere, in another universe, Darrick Evenson is called to a mission in Mexico or Latin America or Russia instead of among wealthy Mormons in California. His Mission inspires him, instead of disillusions him. He comes back, goes to school, then goes to BYU, finds a NON-fat woman to marry, gets hires as a Seminary Teacher, works in Burley Idaho for 10 years, then gets a Masters degree, gets hired as an Institute Instructor in Denver Colorado. Ahhhhhh..........in some other Universe, Darrick Evenson has grand-children by now, and is a very happy, contented, man. I wish I could trade places with that other Darrick in that other parallel universe, if only for a day.