DiscussMormonism.com

I'm collecting Missionary Stories, that will be put on the Internet. Faithful stories, and otherwise. The good, bad, and the ugly. True stories only. Paranormal, persecution, unusual happenings, etc. May become a book later. If you have them, list them in this thread or email me:
darrick_evenson@yahoo.com

They will go on a website. The website will not be anti-Mormon, but simply list the stories as told.

Nobody has anything?

On my mission (Gulf State Mission), my companion and I were on splits with some of the locals from the ward, but the guy I was with was new to the area and we ended up getting lost. So lost we ended up in a bad neighborhood with all sorts of different lamanite ethnicities, so we whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said 'Fresh' and had a dice in the mirror, if anything I could say that this cab was rare ,but I thought naaaaw forget it, yo homeie to Bel-Air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby 'Yo, homie smell you later'. Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

I went out one time with my companion near the docks of some tropic port. We got separated but I felt the Spirit to share the gospel with the guests and crew of a tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure. Five passengers and I set sail that day on a three hour tour. Verily the weather started getting rough and the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew the Minnow would have been lost.

The ship struck ground on the shore of some exotic desert isle. There I was with Gilligan and the skipper too. A millionaire and his dingbat wife. A movie star and a professor and Mary Ann all of whom were attractive to a bi-curious missionary such as myself.

Sadly this is the tale of we castaways who were there for a long long time. We had to make the best of things, much like Sisyphus it was an uphill climb. The first mate and the skipper too tried there very best, despite only being paid for three hours, to make the rest of us comfortable in that tropic nest.

No phone, lights, or motor car; we were without a single luxury. Luckily we had a copy of Robinson Crusoe to break up the monotony. I was around each week to hometeach my friends, they politely declined with a smile. The seven stranded castaways mostly hid from me on Gilligan's Isle.

One time I had to mediate a dynastic dispute while serving a mission in Africa. Mufasa ruled the Kingdom of Pride Rock but his younger brother Scar attempted a coup. Despite my attempts to bring harmony to Pride Rock through the gospel Scar secretly led a guerrilla force nicknamed the Hyenas and usurped the throne by pushing Mufasa into a crowd when Mufasa was distracted by an attempt on the life of the Prince, Simba. Simba escaped into hiding while Scar consolidated power. Scar ruled foolishly while I attempted to baseball baptize his Hyena soldiers. Had to put in some numbers for my hard ass Mission President.

Simba wasn't dead as Scar thought. He sought political asylum in a neighboring micro country paradise where (oddly) no one seemed to live. I tried to visit them and give the discussions but they would hear none of it. They instead were preoccupied with gorging themselves on finger foods. The skinny one was Timon and the fat one was Pumba. They were both *real* comedians full of snark and smart alecky remarks. And the fat one stank. Eventually Simba, pushed by his intellectual guru Rafiki and possibly backed by the American government to whom he promised favorable oil concessions, retook his Kingdom and killed his uncle Scar by throwing him into a fire. I returned home to marry my sweetheart Nala two months after my mission.

I shared an apartment complex with some sister missionaries in SLC. One morning I saw two other missionaries (I am not going to call 19 year old boys elders lol) leave their apartment at 4:30 AM (Studying for finals). They saw the boys off in slippers. Early morning prayer session?

My ex girlfriend had an uncle who was drugged and raped by his companion. I really wonder how common this is.

Once I was on a mission in Europe. Nothing much happened though, couldn't find a decent investigator in the whole place. Atheists you know. I did have one noteworthy event. I can't be sure but I think my companion Hamlet saw the ghost of his father while visiting the battlements of a castle. I think the ghost said that he hadn't died of a basic ear infection but that he'd been murdered by his brother Claude so that Claude would inherit the Danish conglomerate they'd built. Not sure what happened after that though. I didn't think much of it since the ghost didn't explicitly state whether or not he was Holy. After that I got switched to some dickweed Italian companion. Romeo I think it was. Romo? No Romeo. What a love sick whiner.

Least you didn't make the mistake of nearly baptizing Caliban. Fortunately, the Holy Spirit (Ariel) prompted me about his lineage just in time...

My mission was in the caribbean or mediterranean or something like that. I was on a ship and we came to this island and this one-eyed guy tried to eat me but I told him my name was ‘Nobody’ which fooled him and his friends into thinking I wasn’t there. So I tricked them into accepting the gospel and baptized them in the foamy, frothy sea the next day. When my mission president asked them who converted them, they told him ‘Nobody’ so I didn’t get credit, which was a bummer, but demonstrates the enduring power of the holy ghost. I still get letters from them, sometimes.

More...I need more. Keep them coming please.