"The Unknown Spokesman"
Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:27 am
Disclaimers:
1. This is what happens when you can't fall asleep at 2 AM and you're bored.
2. If you're bothering to read this, then at least open the link in a new tab so you can listen to the music along with the words
"The Unknown Spokesman"
(to the tune of "The Unknown Stuntman," theme from the TV series, The Fall Guy)
Well, I'm not the one who speaks for God,
But I'll tell you what's doctrine,
I've never said really anything more than a dodge,
Or whine,
I've talked all about Yes on 8,
But then patronize the gays,
But somehow, they just don't always buy it,
It's a fact-defying life I lead,
I do tap dancin',
I'd lie just to get a little good publicity,
But the hardest war we'll ever fight is this one with Eastasia,
That the Church has always had, 'cause I told ya,
I might deny we'll become gods,
I might placate pesky Jews,
'Cause I'm the unknown spokesman,
Damage control in the news.
I've never been sustained in church,
But I've taught Mormons plenty,
It's true all's well in Zion, I say yea
(Yea! Yea!)
I've gotten burned over letters from Mark,
Made excuses to the blacks,
But when you ask about the reasons, hey, I don't know!
(No! No!)
I might change my Nephite stories,
Or papers from Egypt's tombs,
Yes, I'm the unknown spokesman,
Of the LDS Newsroom.
1. This is what happens when you can't fall asleep at 2 AM and you're bored.
2. If you're bothering to read this, then at least open the link in a new tab so you can listen to the music along with the words
"The Unknown Spokesman"
(to the tune of "The Unknown Stuntman," theme from the TV series, The Fall Guy)
Well, I'm not the one who speaks for God,
But I'll tell you what's doctrine,
I've never said really anything more than a dodge,
Or whine,
I've talked all about Yes on 8,
But then patronize the gays,
But somehow, they just don't always buy it,
It's a fact-defying life I lead,
I do tap dancin',
I'd lie just to get a little good publicity,
But the hardest war we'll ever fight is this one with Eastasia,
That the Church has always had, 'cause I told ya,
I might deny we'll become gods,
I might placate pesky Jews,
'Cause I'm the unknown spokesman,
Damage control in the news.
I've never been sustained in church,
But I've taught Mormons plenty,
It's true all's well in Zion, I say yea
(Yea! Yea!)
I've gotten burned over letters from Mark,
Made excuses to the blacks,
But when you ask about the reasons, hey, I don't know!
(No! No!)
I might change my Nephite stories,
Or papers from Egypt's tombs,
Yes, I'm the unknown spokesman,
Of the LDS Newsroom.