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My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:15 pm
by _Buffalo
T-Dog Monson: I been helpin' out widows before I could even walk, bitches!
Deets Uchtdorf: *insert piloting parable here*
'Enry Eyring: *blubber blubber sob sob*
There, I just saved you 8 hours.
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:50 pm
by _harmony
Talks in conference:
1. Tithing
2. Pornography
3. Tithing
4. Trust us
5. Tithing
6. It's all the women's fault
7. Tithing
8. We never said that
9. Tithing
There will be no detailed annual report of how the tithes are used, there will be no policy changes, there will be no further light and knowledge given. There will be chastisement, there will be demands, and there will be nothing new.
Same ol', same ol'.
*yawn*
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:58 pm
by _DarkHelmet
The GC talks are extremely vanilla and mainstream. Sometimes I wish it was like the Brigham Young days where he would call people on the carpet. The talks will cover such engrossing topics as Faith in Jesus, gaining a true testimony, charity, the evils of pornography, missionary work. They will slip in a few comments about paying tithing and obeying the leaders.
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:09 pm
by _Drifting
"Arthur Patton's alive!"
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:10 pm
by _Fence Sitter
We should do an over/under pool on how many times the Book of Abraham will be mentioned.
I have dibs on the zero square.
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:31 pm
by _Drifting
"Good morning Brothers & Sisters. I'd like to take a few moments to talk through the highlights of the financial accounts that will be published immediately following Conference..."
"Good morning Brothers & Sisters. Our first speaker will be Elder Smith and he will be followed his husband Elder Smith."
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:34 pm
by _Drifting
"Dear Brothers & Sisters. Following a year of unmitigated mistakes and disasters I am hereby resigning as Prophet. All who wish to join with me in thanking me for my service in this calling please show by the Masonic sign of the third degree...erm...by the uplifted right arm."
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:35 pm
by _just me
Drifting wrote:"Arthur Patton's alive!"
I legit LOL'd
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:48 pm
by _bcspace
The interesting thing about this is that some of you will be eagerly watching it anyway.
Re: My predictions for first presidency talks next week
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 6:35 pm
by _Fence Sitter
I'll be watching. Especially Elder Packer. It's like a train wreck waiting to happen.
My wife recorded the last few conferences. I bet I can cue a recorded one up, without her knowing, and she will not notice.