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One of the reason why I feel so distant with the Ex-Mormon community is the actual pressing need for popular podcasts to do shows on the basics of sexual intimacy and alcohol consumption like a middle school health class.


That. Is. Radical. Other.


What about the rest of my fellow Never-Mo types?

I would listen to this podcast.

How do you drink beer without getting a hangover. Better yet how do you get drunk without a hangover. I don't drink unless I get pretty tipsy because I don't see the point of drinking without getting tipsy-drunk. I don't really like the taste but I am starting to like beer a little more. If I do drink a lot I usually drink a lot of water before bed and I take some headache pills. This helps but I still get hangovers sometimes.

Rambo wrote:I would listen to this podcast.

How do you drink beer without getting a hangover. Better yet how do you get drunk without a hangover. I don't drink unless I get pretty tipsy because I don't see the point of drinking without getting tipsy-drunk. I don't really like the taste but I am starting to like beer a little more. If I do drink a lot I usually drink a lot of water before bed and I take some headache pills. This helps but I still get hangovers sometimes.

You have an uphill battle there I'm afraid:

It's a hangover of the cultish peer pressure that was a dominant feature of the Mo life. As an ex-Mo, one yet feels the need for approval from other Mos, now other ex-Mos. No longer needing COB approval, but not having developed skills of making decisions for oneself without checking with Mo peers, the ex-Mo looks to replace that assurance in the decision making process with the approval of other ex-Mos. That's my explanation for the phenomenon that you, Stak, describe in the OP.

Dear Stak,

You are looking for comments from a nevermo. Hopefully you find some before too long.

In the meantime, I would like to spew forth words into this thread while I wait for my simulation to complete.

I like certain beers that taste good. I like them for the taste. I would rather drink a beer than a soda and I do it about once per week or once per month depending on whether I have it in stock at home. Usually, I will drink one beer while sitting at my Viking or while watching some crusty old movie with my wife sitting next to me. Every now and then, I will drink a martini (or similar) with friends in a hot tub.

One time (as you might recall), I had 3 beers in a row and I started saying things that were even sillier than my usual silliness and that is about my limit.

Regarding sex? Well, I think I'm finally starting to calm down about that. I was a wound up little freak when I was TBM. This might be cliché but I seriously feel more mature as an exmo. I don't mean that as a criticism to all the TBMs out there. I mean that as a critique of myself.

Yours truly,

Zee.

I fit in well, having been pressed into the mold, yet still having never been a member of LDS. Always trying to please, yet never meeting up to their standards.

I think many, though not all, recent apostates I've encountered seem to go through a phase - some longer than a phase - where they brag about drinking and sexual exploits that they finally now free to engage in. While I don't have a problem with either drinking or premarital sex in principle, the cultural tone around it feels crass. It makes 'em seem like freshman college students to me, and freshman college students struck me as awfully immature when I was a freshman college student. I understand why this happens, but it still feels weird to see 30 year old people do it.

I understand where you are coming from Stak. I grew up in a family of non-active (or in today's bizarre parlance, "less active') parents. And many in my extended family, and even in the neighborhood/ward, were what were then called "jack Mormons," a term which some may still use today, but I think without the same definition.

My parents/grandparents drank coffee, tea and alcohol. I was used to having a thimble-full of Cherry Kijafa at Christmas when I was young, and later introduced to responsible drinking. So that was never a big taboo for me to break.

Sexuality was a different matter, since that was obviously not something I could access via my family culture. But, since I had stopped attending church well before I went to college, as well as never buying into the sexist and entirely sex-centric understanding of morality of the LDS church, I also experienced those things much differently, as well.

As a nevermo with TBM my wife and one who had a long career in the US Army and Defense technology, and who has sojourned with the Mormon community for over 3o years, i feel tremendous empathy for ex-mo's and the many issues they deal with in discovering and acting on truth and leave the Mormon church. i admire their courage to leave and every time one posts on RFM that they sent the letter in or got the final letter and are OUT, i post a "you had courage to do what you did and congratulate them"

when one becomes an ex-mormon and as they discuss their new life and confront drinking and sexual freedom (except for the guilt the church had previously laid on them), i just hope they can enjoy those pleasures as Solomon says should be enjoyed in life (Ecclesiastes). for hangovers 3 aspirin and start drinking bloody mary's early the next morning( my solution in the Army).

the thing that bothers me most is that once a Mormon becomes an ex-mormon, they are highly likely to become at a minimum agnostic- seems no other christian faith tradition attracts them or they have thrown most christian belief out with the Mormon bath water. and that is sad to me. as i turned from roman catholicism to evangelical christian in my mid forties, a whole new and joyful experience of God and Christ and the Holy Spirit awaited me.

i can't remember any one on this board turning from moism to evangelical christian- if there is one i would love to hear his/her story.


Ex-mo's need support and that is why i am here.

kairos wrote:the thing that bothers me most is that once a Mormon becomes an ex-mormon, they are highly likely to become at a minimum agnostic- seems no other christian faith tradition attracts them or they have thrown most christian belief out with the Mormon bath water. and that is sad to me. as i turned from roman catholicism to evangelical christian in my mid forties, a whole new and joyful experience of God and Christ and the Holy Spirit awaited me.

That's one of the clearer signs that Mopologists are sort of like the Japanese soldiers you hear about who were stranded on a deserted island and still thought World War II was going on when they were found years later. Mormon apologetics is still largely designed to respond to The God Makers brand of "anti-Mormonism." But if that were the real battleground, you would see more Mormons converting to evangelical Christianity thanks to counter-cult ministries. Mopologists are very poorly equipped to deal with the two biggest factors in Mormons losing their faith. These are, in reverse order of importance, secular criticism and apathy about the Church.

i can't remember any one on this board turning from moism to evangelical christian- if there is one i would love to hear his/her story.

For one example, try Aristotle Smith.

My recollection is that he leans Methodist.