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My wife has repeatedly told me that I've betrayed HER because part of the temple sealing ceremony is the husband and wife covenanting to each other to remain faithful to the church. In not remaining faithful to the church I have betrayed HER. In fact, she says that everyday that I didn't go back was a renewed betrayal to my temple covenenat to HER. I understand that she may have come into our marriage with the understanding that I would always remain faithful. I may have even promised her that (I don't remember doing that). However, her point is that it is discreetly part of the sealing ceremony for spouses to covenant with each other to that effect.

Now, I do remember making covenants to the church and the Mormon god during the endowment ceremony to that effect. I would not argue that I have not betrayed my covenenats to the church and the Mormon god. No question about that.

But, I don't remember ever promising my wife as part of the sealing ceremony that that I'd remain faithful. Do I have a bad memory? I'm not looking for some twisted logic that somehow makes her point. I'm looking for a discreet covenant that is part of the ceremony where the spouses promise to one another that they will remain faithful.

EDIT: "discrete" spelled D-I-S-C-R-E-E-T?!? WTH? Yeesh.

It's interesting how members interpret the sealing ceremony. My husband told me I had broken my marriage covenants to him by not wearing garments anymore.

Anyway, you can find the ceremony online. http://www.lds-mormon.com/veilworker/marriage.shtml

You do promise to keep all the laws, rites and ordinances pertaining to the Holy Order of Matrimony in the New and Everlasting Covenant. The promise seems to be toward God/Church not toward the spouse.

Not sure what all those laws, rites and ordinances are or how exactly they are kept and observed...

My wife has said similiar things. I wish that she would understand that my feelings have not changed at all, but people raised in the church are heavily pushed towards temple marriage. Having a marriage under any other condition is unacceptable.

Mad Viking wrote:My wife has repeatedly told me that I've betrayed HER because part of the temple sealing ceremony is the husband and wife covenanting to each other to remain faithful to the church. In not remaining faithful to the church I have betrayed HER. In fact, she says that everyday that I didn't go back was a renewed betrayal to my temple covenenat to HER. I understand that she may have come into our marriage with the understanding that I would always remain faithful. I may have even promised her that (I don't remember doing that). However, her point is that it is discreetly part of the sealing ceremony for spouses to covenant with each other to that effect.

Now, I do remember making covenants to the church and the Mormon god during the endowment ceremony to that effect. I would not argue that I have not betrayed my covenenats to the church and the Mormon god. No question about that.

But, I don't remember ever promising my wife as part of the sealing ceremony that that I'd remain faithful. Do I have a bad memory? I'm not looking for some twisted logic that somehow makes her point. I'm looking for a discreet covenant that is part of the ceremony where the spouses promise to one another that they will remain faithful.

Sorry, but your wife did not get any specific promises, from anybody, in your sealing ceremony.

You agreed, to nobody in particular (but "in the presence of" God, angels, and witnesses in the room), to receive her to yourself as your wife, and you promised (again, to nobody in particular, but "in the presence of" God, angels and witnesses) to obey all the other rules.

She agreed, to nobody in particular (but "in the presence of" God, angels, and witnesses in the room), to give herself to you as her husband, and she promised (again, to nobody in particular, but "in the presence of" God, angels and witnesses) to obey all the other rules.

As a reward for these agreements and promises, not specifically to each other, you both had some "blessings", identified by various brand names but not otherwise described, sealed upon you.

Obviously, you both walked away with differing opinions of what went on in the ceremony, and it's hard to say that anything really did, other than the fact that a state-sanctioned, legally-binding "marriage" took place between you, and the guest list was very limited.

-JV

I would guess that trying to convince her she has misinterpreted the temple ceremony will not improve the relationship. I know that is no help but the truth of the matter is we belong to a Church which teaches its members that membership in the Church is more important than friends and family. I try to avoid situations where I force my family to chose between me and the Church. I am not always successful.

So maybe my memory is not that bad.

Ironically, to pay me back for said betrayal, she had a couple affairs. Go figure.

Mad Viking wrote:So maybe my memory is not that bad.

Ironically, to pay me back for said betrayal, she had a couple affairs. Go figure.

OMG! She sure showed you.

My dear Mad Viking (I love Vikings, by the way),

I think your wife should have said, "I *feel* like you are betraying me."

That seems more appropriate to me. It is also likely much closer to the truth. I understand this sentiment.

God's speed my friend from the north. My heart goes out to you.

My only advice in this matter is that you try and let her know that you can understand why she feels that way. As a former believer, I'm sure you do understand why.

Is there a way to remedy her ill feelings toward you? I don't know. I wish I knew. I really do.

Sincerely,

Zee.

Mad Viking wrote:So maybe my memory is not that bad.

Ironically, to pay me back for said betrayal, she had a couple affairs. Go figure.

Annnnd you are still with her?

Why?

Seriously, if she "had a couple of sexual affairs" because you did not keep your secret pinky shake promise, I'd say she did this before.

I for one do not put up with a cheating spouse.

Kick her ass to the curb.

Mad Viking wrote:So maybe my memory is not that bad.

Ironically, to pay me back for said betrayal, she had a couple affairs. Go figure.

A COUPLE of affairs??!!

Did you find out about the affairs, or did she confess? If she is being so "holier than thou" with you about the Church, has SHE gone to her bishop? She is the one who should be subject to a bishop's court and is on the line for excommunication, particularly since SHE committed adultery! SHE is the one who is in direct violation of her marriage covenant, not you.