LDS Ward House--Built Ford Tough

[_sock puppet]

Hey, I got wrangled into going to an LDS baptism today. No bolts of lightning. No earthquakes. The timbers held up.

First LDS baptism I've attended since I performed my last one on my mission, eons ago.

Pretty much same format as back in the day. But for these nipper dunks (8 year old), there is not the sincerity of emotion as I remember when it was an adult convert being baptized.

There was the talk on baptism. Someone else (Jesus) paying the price for our sins, need to remember him and what he's doing for us, yada, yada, yada.

Then the immersion and the HG talk before the confirmation. What a hoot. The speaker had been in an accident where driving into the fog on a country road she heard the HG voice suggest that she might want to slow down. She did a bit, not much. Then she heard a command, "slow down". She slowed more as she continued into the fog.

Then she hit and killed several sheep among a flock being herded in the oncoming direction. She also rolled over the pick-up truck she was driving, and she and her two daughters were injured, all three hospitalized but none of them had permanent impairments.

Hallelujah! It was the HG!

But, I am left wondering what the heck was wrong with this HG. Why not tell her to stop? It was okay with HG/Mormon god for this woman and her two daughters to be so injured, sheep killed, and extensive damage to her truck?

I guess the HG must have been telling the Nazis to slow down on the extermination of Jews, or there might have been more killed during the Holocaust.

Confirmation bias at its best!

[_Hades]

I'm glad you shared this story with us Sock. Since I left Mormonism I don't get to hear these stories anymore. No one says stuff like that in the real world.

It reminded me that I haven't heard a peep from the Holy Ghost for a very long time. He doesn't speak to evil, Satan worshiping apostates like me. Now, when it's foggy out, and it's difficult to see where I'm going when I'm driving somewhere, I have to listen to the voice of common sense, "Slow down! You can't see you fuckin' moron."

[_sock puppet]

I'm glad you shared this story with us Sock. Since I left Mormonism I don't get to hear these stories anymore. No one says stuff like that in the real world.

It reminded me that I haven't heard a peep from the Holy Ghost for a very long time. He doesn't speak to evil, Satan worshiping apostates like me. Now, when it's foggy out, and it's difficult to see where I'm going when I'm driving somewhere, I have to listen to the voice of common sense, "Slow down! You can't see you fuckin' moron."

As a resident of Hades myself, I thank you.

The HG speaker had the baptizee stand up, turn and look at the assembled, then the speaker asked for a raise of hands of all those that had received the 'gift of the HG'. Everyone over the age 8 raised their hands except my wife, her brother and me--it had been too long for each of the three of us, too much reasoning passed under our bridges. The HG did not whisper to the three of us to raise our hands. We were there for our niece, that was it. And that was worth it.

[_Dantana]

I remember giving one of those holy ghost talks once....I went with the 'window blinds' analogy. I had just returned from my mission and an old drinking buddy came looking for the light. He had just rolled his Fix Or Repair Daily truck down a ravine and I guess that musta scared all of the beer out of him. He didn't mention anything about any premonitions before or during. It didn't stick though as he just switched to pot....fact, I think he was stoned when I dunked him. Ah well, good for him.

[_sock puppet]

I had just returned from my mission and an old drinking buddy came looking for the light. * * * [His joining 'the Church'] didn't stick though as he just switched to pot....fact, I think he was stoned when I dunked him. Ah well, good for him.

I would proudly wear it as a badge of honor if I could explain away my membership as a moment of being high. But I was 8, and I was not Robert Downey Jr.

[_Dantana]

I had just returned from my mission and an old drinking buddy came looking for the light. * * * [His joining 'the Church'] didn't stick though as he just switched to pot....fact, I think he was stoned when I dunked him. Ah well, good for him.

I would proudly wear it as a badge of honor if I could explain away my membership as a moment of being high. But I was 8, and I was not Robert Downey Jr.

I think Robert shoulda listened for a prompting from somebody....maybe his agent, before signing himself up for his new found wealth in the comic book, 19 year old male, superhero genre. He coulda been a contenda.

[_Themis]

Now, when it's foggy out, and it's difficult to see where I'm going when I'm driving somewhere, I have to listen to the voice of common sense, "Slow down! You can't see you f*****g moron."

Which is the same voice she heard but didn't listen to. It warns of possible danger, but only possible. Most times you ignore it, nothing will happen. This is why she ignored it as usual, but when the accident happened now it was the HG. If only I had heeded it's warning.

[_bcspace]

I'd much rather have a Toyota.

[_Shulem]

Sounds like another one of those faith promoting nonsense stories in which people automatically assign the Holy Ghost to their good fortune when they are thinking their way through life and something amazing happens to them. Just give all the credit to the invisible Holy Ghost!

Well let me tell you, had that lady not slowed down she would have probably outrun the flock and not hit any of the poor sheep. Had she held her ground and maintained course and speed she might have made it through the fog completely untouched by any of those precious animals that were lost by their poor shephard. But here we see the Holy Ghost stepped in and guided the poor woman to drive right into the lost animals so that all may suffer and feel the pains of mortality. It's a sacrifice to Jehovah. We all know that Jehovah gets his rocks off by torturing animals, especially little lambs. And he likes to make us suffer too. It's part of his plan. The lady at the baptism may thank the Holy Ghost for all that pain he brought.

Avoid the Holy Ghost and live a much better life. And it might just save your life. The Holy Ghost is a killer.

Paul O

[_harmony]

What the heck was the guy herding doing, herding sheep in a fog so dense drivers can't see them?

A fool is born every minute.