Shades of gray
Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 3:45 pm
Hello MDB,
I started thinking back on my life and came to a gentle realization that I am approximately 5% gay. Some people are more, some are less, but everyone has at least some of it in them. At least, this is the conclusion I've come to after pondering late last night while in the throes of Pinterest posting.
From as early as I can remember, I have always held some man (or two) in high regard due to their looks and manners. Early on, it was Han Solo and Robbie Bosco. I admired both for their maintenance of style under pressure. Later on, I developed this quiet man-crush for the local ditch tender near my grandpa's farm. I used to love it when he would give me the thumbs up while driving by in his pickup truck. For many years, I shared a sense of admiration for Robert Redford along with my mother, who would often mention him and his wonderful blonde hair.
Today, I have a deep admiration for Paul Newman. Oh, what I wouldn't do to have an hour to sit and play cards with him!
To keep the record straight, I'm inclined to remind you of my non-gayness... 95%...or is it 90%? Anyway, I had a HUGE crush on Mary Poppins for many years. I had this little picture book with vinyl record that I would use to feed soul with joy. I played "A spoon full of sugar" over and over for days! I was disappointed to find out she was the same woman as Maria the Nanny. Somehow, she lost the status of muse when I found she really could not fly.
Maybe some people would say that I've suddenly become 5% gay due to my loss in faith in Mormonism. Some people might think I've always been 0% gay and suddenly started pretending I like some dudes. Maybe people think I've been obsessed with images and have lost the spirit. Whatever the reason people come up with, I feel they do it in order to ensure that gayness is not made up of shades of gray in many of us.
Maybe I'm disappointed in the prevailing attitudes of my Mormon family/friends regarding gay marriage. I refuse to engage with them on the subject so I have come here to vent. Thank you.
Have a WONDERFUL day!
Zee.
I started thinking back on my life and came to a gentle realization that I am approximately 5% gay. Some people are more, some are less, but everyone has at least some of it in them. At least, this is the conclusion I've come to after pondering late last night while in the throes of Pinterest posting.
From as early as I can remember, I have always held some man (or two) in high regard due to their looks and manners. Early on, it was Han Solo and Robbie Bosco. I admired both for their maintenance of style under pressure. Later on, I developed this quiet man-crush for the local ditch tender near my grandpa's farm. I used to love it when he would give me the thumbs up while driving by in his pickup truck. For many years, I shared a sense of admiration for Robert Redford along with my mother, who would often mention him and his wonderful blonde hair.
Today, I have a deep admiration for Paul Newman. Oh, what I wouldn't do to have an hour to sit and play cards with him!
To keep the record straight, I'm inclined to remind you of my non-gayness... 95%...or is it 90%? Anyway, I had a HUGE crush on Mary Poppins for many years. I had this little picture book with vinyl record that I would use to feed soul with joy. I played "A spoon full of sugar" over and over for days! I was disappointed to find out she was the same woman as Maria the Nanny. Somehow, she lost the status of muse when I found she really could not fly.
Maybe some people would say that I've suddenly become 5% gay due to my loss in faith in Mormonism. Some people might think I've always been 0% gay and suddenly started pretending I like some dudes. Maybe people think I've been obsessed with images and have lost the spirit. Whatever the reason people come up with, I feel they do it in order to ensure that gayness is not made up of shades of gray in many of us.
Maybe I'm disappointed in the prevailing attitudes of my Mormon family/friends regarding gay marriage. I refuse to engage with them on the subject so I have come here to vent. Thank you.
Have a WONDERFUL day!
Zee.