DiscussMormonism.com

Scenario #1:
Wife decides she does not believe in the LDS Church. Husband still believes, but does not want to cause strife in the marriage and leaves the Church with his wife. (This scenario could also happen in reverse...husband not believing..wife choosing to leave.)

Scenario #2
Wife deciding she does not believe in the LDS Church. Wife stays in the LDS Church to support husband and not cause strife in the marriage. (This scenario could also happen in reverse...husband staying to support wife)

Discuss...

Depends on the people involved. I don't like either one. It seems like too big a sacrifice.

But that's just me.

I agree with Just Me. Did the husband and wife grow up in a TBM family/community? If so, the latter scenario will cause less hurt to the couple. The children still have to face the question later on, though.

just me wrote:Depends on the people involved. I don't like either one. It seems like too big a sacrifice.

But that's just me.

Perhaps I am mistaken but weren't you in the number 2 situation before you came out of the closet and showed us your true feelings about the church? If I remember correctly, you were the silent type, silently sitting in meetings fuming about what was said. But your husband was active. Suddenly you came out of the closet on this forum and showed us just who you were: the outspoken non believer.

But your husband is still active.

Am I wrong?

liz3564 wrote:Scenario #1:
Wife decides she does not believe in the LDS Church. Husband still believes, but does not want to cause strife in the marriage and leaves the Church with his wife. (This scenario could also happen in reverse...husband not believing..wife choosing to leave.)

Scenario #2
Wife deciding she does not believe in the LDS Church. Wife stays in the LDS Church to support husband and not cause strife in the marriage. (This scenario could also happen in reverse...husband staying to support wife)

Discuss...

Here is how it goes in real life: One spouse stops believing in the church. That spouse then begins an active missionary program to get believing spouse out of the church too. Soon, books are recommended to read: Compton, Quinn etc. And if that doesn't work, more missionary work from the internet until other spouse is out of the church. Then the disbelieving missionary spouse comes on the internet to tell of their success in getting other spouse out. Love bombs and happiness from the members of the board.

I see this happening all the time on the internet.

zeezrom wrote: The children still have to face the question later on, though.

The disbelieving spouse usually attempts to get other spouse out of the church and if successful, children follow. It is not that difficult. Take the children on a hike. Take the children to have a picnic. Allow children to play on sunday etc. Suddenly children no longer want to go to church. Disbelieving parent comes on forum and glees about the success of the kids and how they no longer want to go to church.

Members of the board give love bombs and happiness to the spouse who has succeeded in freeing family from the church.

I think scenario #1 is too much to ask of a spouse. I can't imagine asking my wife to just walk away from the church.
I would being willing to remain a member of the church to some degree if that would appease her depending on the degree of participation. Attending the meetings would be something I would be willing to do. Tithing would be a real sticking point. Hell I mean if I knew where it was going I might be okay with it, but just handing It over to them blind is just too much to ask.

liz3564 wrote:Scenario #1:
Wife decides she does not believe in the LDS Church. Husband still believes, but does not want to cause strife in the marriage and leaves the Church with his wife. (This scenario could also happen in reverse...husband not believing..wife choosing to leave.)

Scenario #2
Wife deciding she does not believe in the LDS Church. Wife stays in the LDS Church to support husband and not cause strife in the marriage. (This scenario could also happen in reverse...husband staying to support wife)

Discuss...

Neither and both. And it's different if one is a convert, both are converts, or both are BIC. and it matters where they live, how deeply imbedded into their ward/stake they are, and who they work for.

Stormy Waters wrote:I think scenario #1 is too much to ask of a spouse. I can't imagine asking my wife to just walk away from the church.

From my experience reading exit stories, it is usually the case that the disbelieving spouse begins a fervent missionary program to deconvert the spouse. Then the problems can come into the relationship. However, usually the disbelieving spouse is successful in deconverting the other spouse.

When someone believes that they have discovered the truth about the church, the disbeliever just can't keep their mouth shut. They must share and attempt to deconvert the other.

liz3564 wrote:Scenario #1:
Wife decides she does not believe in the LDS Church. Husband still believes, but does not want to cause strife in the marriage and leaves the Church with his wife. (This scenario could also happen in reverse...husband not believing..wife choosing to leave.)
Discuss...

I'll bite. I pick scene one. First of all, the wife is headed for a real good time in a new life once she is free from the church. The husband is headed for a good time because after a while his testimony will start to fade and when he experiences new things without all those damn Mormon restrictions he will be able to breathe freely and enjoy the freshness of a new life. After a while, the testimony will fade even more and once he realizes that the Explanations of Facsimile No. 3 are a big fat lie it will be easier to admit all the other lies created by Joe Smith & Co. I honestly think that the Explanations of Facismile No. 3 is the best wedge to stick to any Mormon testimony while driving it with a sledge hammer. Crack that testimony wide open and lay it out in the sun without garments and watch it start to evaporate. The Holy Ghost will flee from the truth!



Paul O