Go Seek Ye: Funeral Sermon for Cecilia Pretelt Marin
Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 2:37 am
Never will I be allowed to deliver this sermon. I woke up twice in the early morning a couple of days ago seeing a bright light yet knowing that my eyes were still closed. I called out both times saying, "Speak Lord thy servant heareth". Nothing was said until my waking thought was, "Go seek ye."
Now this set me on a quest of sorts. I did not know anymore about it than a general injunction to seek. So I lit up the back burner and kept it simmering through yesterday and again today. Thinking I might see the face of the Lord as I step into a crag of rock up on The Apocalrock as I get up there and go a seeking, I was condemned in myself much like Isaiah, considering that I am a sinful man who speaks often with unclean lips.
That was all good to toss into the pot I had set on the back burner. Suddenly it came to a boil without me turning up the heat and I was given a marvelous insight I am writing down here for the first time to see what comes of it.
I can see now afar off whereas before the trees got in my way. I comprehend what religion is all for. It is gloriously cool, if I may say so.
Christ promised us to know the truth and that would make us free and he promised us that we are to have joy.
In my struggle to find an angle where I would no more swear my vulgar curses under my breath unless I am driving alone in my car where I am unrestrained. (Church security ought to put a bug in my car. That would tear it.) Anyways in my effort to contemplate how I could arrange my heart and mind so as not to offend the Lord if I ever happen to be in his presence, I realized a supernal truth that hits on just about everything. Now let's see if I can reduce it here to and understandable script.
What makes us swear? Anger. Whence cometh all the rage? Disappointment mostly. You got your own list no doubt. Christ was once disappointed that there were no figs on a certain tree near Jerusalem and cursed it (in the anger of disappointment I suppose) and it immediately withered away. See. That is justification and it is worthless for this present consideration. Just thought I would throw it out there anyways.
Okay then, here we got our passions, what we identify with that we expect will make us happy. Where is God in all that? Is he there at all? How much is he in our expectation of happiness? Well, guess what I just figured out. Everything else is incapable of giving us joy except God.
Now I know you do not think so. Your kids and wife and husbands and friends and your success and arts and all manner of endeavors are where we get the consolations and peace and happiness in our existence. Right? Yeah. That is what we think and expect. Trouble is it is completely wrong in the cosmic eternal scale of who we are and what is the truth.
The truth is God does exist. We need to make peace with that. The peace that will surpass understanding is that when by faith we allow God to be our God in truth he brings us unspeakable joy. Then what are we doing striving to harvest joy from all else? It is confusion and spiritually it is very, very damaging to our mental state and to our peace of mind and consolations that we abide in moment to moment.
The truth that God is love and joy and peace to our soul's satisfaction must be accepted and appreciated and utilized fully each moment and continually without end. Only then are we truly free of all the frustrations of life's contra-passions whereby we strive to make happiness of ourselves. You immediately recognize how much peace and love between everyone this will allow and cultivate? Yes?
I really cannot say it better than this. Go ahead and don't believe me and turn it convoluted on its head to excuse yourself from facing the reality of its truth. What can I say more?
I have been a fine thinker for over forty years and if I say this is it you ought to take a moment and consider it. Otherwise it will be some time in hell before you begin to imagine without remembering that I once told you when you will begin to wonder if God is worthy and true and able to furnish you and cause your soul to flourish like an herb, well watered in pleasant pasture.
Now we can get into all the obvious reliefs of life's emotional burdens this lifts from off our weary souls. Or we can think it nothing at all. Your choice. I will think it worthy of my continual practice and hope a better oneness with God ensues.
By this present seeking I fully restored unto myself the rejoicing and praising of God that I was so much about in great practice in former days when great and grinding drama was yet to come into my life. I had drama even back then, don't get me wrong when some small measure of joy in the consolation of Christ in God was given me. This present consideration rounds off life entirely. I see it all as one great whole and it causes me to abound in the love of God unabashedly so.
God is an eternal reality that has a purposeful effect upon us we must allow to participate in. So real is it that there are unavoidable consequences for not allowing it. That allowance is forged in faith and shaped by hope and realized in a charity that heals all the troubles of mankind and rounds off to perfect peace. Well, it certainly CAN if we will.
Thanks. I just had to express it as best I can. Perhaps in days or years ahead I will have so much more to say about it. My mother in-law is about to pass on. I will not be invited to speak or pray or say a word. Imagine that.
Oh, and thanks again to Madeleine, cause, what I got from her was important for all this.
Now this set me on a quest of sorts. I did not know anymore about it than a general injunction to seek. So I lit up the back burner and kept it simmering through yesterday and again today. Thinking I might see the face of the Lord as I step into a crag of rock up on The Apocalrock as I get up there and go a seeking, I was condemned in myself much like Isaiah, considering that I am a sinful man who speaks often with unclean lips.
That was all good to toss into the pot I had set on the back burner. Suddenly it came to a boil without me turning up the heat and I was given a marvelous insight I am writing down here for the first time to see what comes of it.
I can see now afar off whereas before the trees got in my way. I comprehend what religion is all for. It is gloriously cool, if I may say so.
Christ promised us to know the truth and that would make us free and he promised us that we are to have joy.
In my struggle to find an angle where I would no more swear my vulgar curses under my breath unless I am driving alone in my car where I am unrestrained. (Church security ought to put a bug in my car. That would tear it.) Anyways in my effort to contemplate how I could arrange my heart and mind so as not to offend the Lord if I ever happen to be in his presence, I realized a supernal truth that hits on just about everything. Now let's see if I can reduce it here to and understandable script.
What makes us swear? Anger. Whence cometh all the rage? Disappointment mostly. You got your own list no doubt. Christ was once disappointed that there were no figs on a certain tree near Jerusalem and cursed it (in the anger of disappointment I suppose) and it immediately withered away. See. That is justification and it is worthless for this present consideration. Just thought I would throw it out there anyways.
Okay then, here we got our passions, what we identify with that we expect will make us happy. Where is God in all that? Is he there at all? How much is he in our expectation of happiness? Well, guess what I just figured out. Everything else is incapable of giving us joy except God.
Now I know you do not think so. Your kids and wife and husbands and friends and your success and arts and all manner of endeavors are where we get the consolations and peace and happiness in our existence. Right? Yeah. That is what we think and expect. Trouble is it is completely wrong in the cosmic eternal scale of who we are and what is the truth.
The truth is God does exist. We need to make peace with that. The peace that will surpass understanding is that when by faith we allow God to be our God in truth he brings us unspeakable joy. Then what are we doing striving to harvest joy from all else? It is confusion and spiritually it is very, very damaging to our mental state and to our peace of mind and consolations that we abide in moment to moment.
The truth that God is love and joy and peace to our soul's satisfaction must be accepted and appreciated and utilized fully each moment and continually without end. Only then are we truly free of all the frustrations of life's contra-passions whereby we strive to make happiness of ourselves. You immediately recognize how much peace and love between everyone this will allow and cultivate? Yes?
I really cannot say it better than this. Go ahead and don't believe me and turn it convoluted on its head to excuse yourself from facing the reality of its truth. What can I say more?
I have been a fine thinker for over forty years and if I say this is it you ought to take a moment and consider it. Otherwise it will be some time in hell before you begin to imagine without remembering that I once told you when you will begin to wonder if God is worthy and true and able to furnish you and cause your soul to flourish like an herb, well watered in pleasant pasture.
Now we can get into all the obvious reliefs of life's emotional burdens this lifts from off our weary souls. Or we can think it nothing at all. Your choice. I will think it worthy of my continual practice and hope a better oneness with God ensues.
By this present seeking I fully restored unto myself the rejoicing and praising of God that I was so much about in great practice in former days when great and grinding drama was yet to come into my life. I had drama even back then, don't get me wrong when some small measure of joy in the consolation of Christ in God was given me. This present consideration rounds off life entirely. I see it all as one great whole and it causes me to abound in the love of God unabashedly so.
God is an eternal reality that has a purposeful effect upon us we must allow to participate in. So real is it that there are unavoidable consequences for not allowing it. That allowance is forged in faith and shaped by hope and realized in a charity that heals all the troubles of mankind and rounds off to perfect peace. Well, it certainly CAN if we will.
Thanks. I just had to express it as best I can. Perhaps in days or years ahead I will have so much more to say about it. My mother in-law is about to pass on. I will not be invited to speak or pray or say a word. Imagine that.
Oh, and thanks again to Madeleine, cause, what I got from her was important for all this.