messing with the members
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messing with the members
Their are a few items in mormondom that I swear came out of a conversation like this:
Joseph: hey Oliver watch what I can pull over on these rubes. I can get them to believe anything.
1st case in point. The Nephi lopping off a falling down drunk Laban's head. Now the whole story boggles the mind, and the idea of putting on decapitated Laban's armor as a disguise, despite the gore, strains credibility.
But the real overlooked point is the framework the incident creates.
Under this precedence the following should be a viable response at a court of love:
Gee bishop Smith, I'm real sorry your daughter is expecting my child and we aren't married. But, the spirit constrained me to do it so that I might preserve my seed and be the father of a great nation....
I have a couple more examples of where I think Joseph was just seeing how far he could push the limits and contradict himself. What examples do you think exist of this?
Joseph: hey Oliver watch what I can pull over on these rubes. I can get them to believe anything.
1st case in point. The Nephi lopping off a falling down drunk Laban's head. Now the whole story boggles the mind, and the idea of putting on decapitated Laban's armor as a disguise, despite the gore, strains credibility.
But the real overlooked point is the framework the incident creates.
Under this precedence the following should be a viable response at a court of love:
Gee bishop Smith, I'm real sorry your daughter is expecting my child and we aren't married. But, the spirit constrained me to do it so that I might preserve my seed and be the father of a great nation....
I have a couple more examples of where I think Joseph was just seeing how far he could push the limits and contradict himself. What examples do you think exist of this?
Last edited by Guest on Thu Jul 12, 2012 6:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It is better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener at war.
Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality.
~Bill Hamblin
Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality.
~Bill Hamblin
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Re: messing with the members
I think that it's a funny OP, but I don't give Joseph this much credit. I think it's much more likely that he was simply that ignorant. The whole Book of Mormon smacks of a book from someone who has very little practical knowledge about the world. Everything from carrying bees in an enclosed ship to lopping off a guys head and putting on his clothes to problems with geographical distances and population growth rates are consistent with the idea that Joseph Smith was just trying to copy the Bible while sounding prophetic. I don't have to read more into things than that.
"Joseph Smith was called as a prophet, dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb" -South Park
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Re: messing with the members
Joseph: "Hey everyone see those rocks over there? They were once an alter used by Adam and oh by the way the Garden of Eden is around here somewhere too."
Everyone else: "Oh man that is awesome, this is wonderful, what a great and marvelous day, tell us more…”
Joseph (thinking to himself): OMG I can’t believe how stupid some of these guys are. I bet I could tell them I need to marry their wives and half of them would let me. Ummmmmmm”
Everyone else: "Oh man that is awesome, this is wonderful, what a great and marvelous day, tell us more…”
Joseph (thinking to himself): OMG I can’t believe how stupid some of these guys are. I bet I could tell them I need to marry their wives and half of them would let me. Ummmmmmm”
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo
Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. - The Dude
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk - Tom Waits
Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. - The Dude
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk - Tom Waits
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Re: messing with the members
Which segues into my second example......
Polyandry.
Angel with a flaiming sword threatened to kill me unless I practice polygamy with married women. Ignore the Fanny Alger thing....
I mean....
Really? What?
Polyandry.
Angel with a flaiming sword threatened to kill me unless I practice polygamy with married women. Ignore the Fanny Alger thing....
I mean....
Really? What?
It is better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener at war.
Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality.
~Bill Hamblin
Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality.
~Bill Hamblin
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Re: messing with the members
SteelHead wrote:Which segues into my second example......
Polyandry.
Angel with a flaiming sword threatened to kill me unless I practice polygamy with married women. Ignore the Fanny Alger thing....
I mean....
Really? What?
I think a version of that tactic has been used by many a teenage boy in the back seat of his car. "Oh baby if you don't do it. I swear I am going to die..."
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo
Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. - The Dude
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk - Tom Waits
Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. - The Dude
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk - Tom Waits
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Re: messing with the members
Does any one else think the phallic imagery of flaming swords is full of homoerotic tension. Is there something in Joseph Smith's closet?
It is better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener at war.
Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality.
~Bill Hamblin
Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality.
~Bill Hamblin
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Re: messing with the members
My favorite Joe snow job is where he gets a "revelation" that the members need build him a house. Not only do the members need to fund it but God also reveals that the home is to be passed on to Joe's posterity. It's in the D&C somewhere, but I am too lazy to look it up.
Tapirs... Yeah... That's the ticket!
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Re: messing with the members
Racer wrote:My favorite Joe snow job is where he gets a "revelation" that the members need build him a house. Not only do the members need to fund it but God also reveals that the home is to be passed on to Joe's posterity. It's in the D&C somewhere, but I am too lazy to look it up.
There is a latter day equivalent.
Hinckley/Monson wanted an upmarket shopping facility within walking distance of their office and they convinced the members that that is what God wanted.
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.”
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!"
Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
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Re: messing with the members
SteelHead wrote:Does any one else think the phallic imagery of flaming swords is full of homoerotic tension. Is there something in Joseph Smith's closet?
Yeah, Joseph just screwed those 30-50 other women, including 8 or 10 or whatever other mens' wives, just to hide the fact that he was really gay. Uh-huh.
Seriously, Joseph Smith's heterosexual bona fides are amply demonstrated. I think the critical arguments are not well served insinuating otherwise.
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
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Re: messing with the members
The more sexually obsessed a person, the more those desires diffuse into relationships with children, people of the same gender, and other objects and beings. It is all about a self-centered obsession with personal gratification, not love.
Huckelberry said:
I see the order and harmony to be the very image of God which smiles upon us each morning as we awake.
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/a ... cc_toc.htm
I see the order and harmony to be the very image of God which smiles upon us each morning as we awake.
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/a ... cc_toc.htm