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messing with the members

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:29 pm
by _SteelHead
Their are a few items in mormondom that I swear came out of a conversation like this:

Joseph: hey Oliver watch what I can pull over on these rubes. I can get them to believe anything.

1st case in point. The Nephi lopping off a falling down drunk Laban's head. Now the whole story boggles the mind, and the idea of putting on decapitated Laban's armor as a disguise, despite the gore, strains credibility.

But the real overlooked point is the framework the incident creates.

Under this precedence the following should be a viable response at a court of love:

Gee bishop Smith, I'm real sorry your daughter is expecting my child and we aren't married. But, the spirit constrained me to do it so that I might preserve my seed and be the father of a great nation....

I have a couple more examples of where I think Joseph was just seeing how far he could push the limits and contradict himself. What examples do you think exist of this?

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 5:35 pm
by _keithb
I think that it's a funny OP, but I don't give Joseph this much credit. I think it's much more likely that he was simply that ignorant. The whole Book of Mormon smacks of a book from someone who has very little practical knowledge about the world. Everything from carrying bees in an enclosed ship to lopping off a guys head and putting on his clothes to problems with geographical distances and population growth rates are consistent with the idea that Joseph Smith was just trying to copy the Bible while sounding prophetic. I don't have to read more into things than that.

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 6:47 pm
by _son of Ishmael
Joseph: "Hey everyone see those rocks over there? They were once an alter used by Adam and oh by the way the Garden of Eden is around here somewhere too."

Everyone else: "Oh man that is awesome, this is wonderful, what a great and marvelous day, tell us more…”

Joseph (thinking to himself): OMG I can’t believe how stupid some of these guys are. I bet I could tell them I need to marry their wives and half of them would let me. Ummmmmmm”

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 6:56 pm
by _SteelHead
Which segues into my second example......

Polyandry.

Angel with a flaiming sword threatened to kill me unless I practice polygamy with married women. Ignore the Fanny Alger thing....

I mean....

Really? What?

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 7:01 pm
by _son of Ishmael
SteelHead wrote:Which segues into my second example......

Polyandry.

Angel with a flaiming sword threatened to kill me unless I practice polygamy with married women. Ignore the Fanny Alger thing....

I mean....

Really? What?



I think a version of that tactic has been used by many a teenage boy in the back seat of his car. "Oh baby if you don't do it. I swear I am going to die..."

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2012 7:29 pm
by _SteelHead
Does any one else think the phallic imagery of flaming swords is full of homoerotic tension. Is there something in Joseph Smith's closet?

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 1:06 am
by _Racer
My favorite Joe snow job is where he gets a "revelation" that the members need build him a house. Not only do the members need to fund it but God also reveals that the home is to be passed on to Joe's posterity. It's in the D&C somewhere, but I am too lazy to look it up.

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:34 am
by _Drifting
Racer wrote:My favorite Joe snow job is where he gets a "revelation" that the members need build him a house. Not only do the members need to fund it but God also reveals that the home is to be passed on to Joe's posterity. It's in the D&C somewhere, but I am too lazy to look it up.


There is a latter day equivalent.
Hinckley/Monson wanted an upmarket shopping facility within walking distance of their office and they convinced the members that that is what God wanted.

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 12:20 pm
by _Sethbag
SteelHead wrote:Does any one else think the phallic imagery of flaming swords is full of homoerotic tension. Is there something in Joseph Smith's closet?

Yeah, Joseph just screwed those 30-50 other women, including 8 or 10 or whatever other mens' wives, just to hide the fact that he was really gay. Uh-huh.

Seriously, Joseph Smith's heterosexual bona fides are amply demonstrated. I think the critical arguments are not well served insinuating otherwise.

Re: messing with the members

Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 12:24 pm
by _MCB
The more sexually obsessed a person, the more those desires diffuse into relationships with children, people of the same gender, and other objects and beings. It is all about a self-centered obsession with personal gratification, not love.