DiscussMormonism.com

Part of my job includes work as a roving folklorist of sorts, conducting recorded interviews and collecting images and folk music recordings for our state archives. I have recently been involved in a long-term project documenting the lives of the descendants of a particularly-important folk musician of the Cumberland plateau area. I've been visiting his oldest daughter for a few months now, and in this latest interview (yesterday) discovered that she has been a Mormon for 42 years now, and that while she smokes a pack a day, drinks coffee to her heart's content, swears like a sailor, tells the dirtiest jokes I've ever heard, AND has made moonshine on and off, her Mormonism is still very important to her:

-On smoking and drinking coffee:"You know they aren't supposed to smoke or drink coffee, or whiskey. When I was interviewed to be baptized 42 years ago, Bishop asked me about the coffee and I told him straight I would not give it up. He didn't make the mistake of asking about my smoking (I have smoked for 78 years now). I think he knew. If he didn't, he was an idiot, or didn't know what a cigarette smelled like. Or maybe he thought that low-down skitzo-termite-bastard I married was the smoker. I don't know. He didn't ask, I didn't tell. That's an important operational principle for any woman of independence".

-On Mitt Romney: "People think he isn't liked because he's a Mormon. They're dead wrong. He isn't liked because he's Mitt Romney. Religion is just the excuse they use to keep from seeing that truth". She then asked me if I could help her register to vote twice in two separate counties so that she could make sure that Romney doesn't get elected. I will help her register once, legally. Lol.

-On why she hasn't been to church in decades: "Bishop invites me to come all the time. He's the best Bishop in the world- twenty years he has visited me now. I told him I don't have the right shoes or dress. He said nobody would mind what I wear. That's probably true. Anyway, I'm 92 years old and I am sleeping in on a Sunday and there's not a thing anyone can do about it-- not even the Bishop. But he is a wonderful Bishop."

That's just a few of the funniest bits-- not including the time she got into a gun-wielding altercation with a "crazy Mormon drug-addict ex-daughter-in-law" back in the 70's, or her motives for joining up with the Mormons in the first place (The initial appearance of the missionaries pissed off the Baptist "skitzo-termite-bastard" she was married to, which immediately impressed her). She then offered me an old pass-a-long card and gave me the rundown on the history of the Book of Mormon-- the old-school version before the church realized that claims about Native Americans were obviously problematic. She really knew her stuff and has very deep and sincere love for the gospel. This lady is amazing. I think she's my favorite Mormon qua Mormon ever.

Anyway, thought you all might enjoy hearing about that.

Very old ladies who still have all their marbles are some of the best company I know.

Chap wrote:Very old ladies who still have all their marbles are some of the best company I know.

True, true. I love how they just don't give a damn about conforming to the expectations of other people. It gives me courage.

angsty wrote:Part of my job includes work as a roving folklorist of sorts, conducting recorded interviews and collecting images and folk music recordings for our state archives. I have recently been involved in a long-term project documenting the lives of the descendants of a particularly-important folk musician of the Cumberland plateau area. I've been visiting his oldest daughter for a few months now, and in this latest interview (yesterday) discovered that she has been a Mormon for 42 years now, and that while she smokes a pack a day, drinks coffee to her heart's content, swears like a sailor, tells the dirtiest jokes I've ever heard, AND has made moonshine on and off, her Mormonism is still very important to her:

-On smoking and drinking coffee:"You know they aren't supposed to smoke or drink coffee, or whiskey. When I was interviewed to be baptized 42 years ago, Bishop asked me about the coffee and I told him straight I would not give it up. He didn't make the mistake of asking about my smoking (I have smoked for 78 years now). I think he knew. If he didn't, he was an idiot, or didn't know what a cigarette smelled like. Or maybe he thought that low-down skitzo-termite-bastard I married was the smoker. I don't know. He didn't ask, I didn't tell. That's an important operational principle for any woman of independence".

-On Mitt Romney: "People think he isn't liked because he's a Mormon. They're dead wrong. He isn't liked because he's Mitt Romney. Religion is just the excuse they use to keep from seeing that truth". She then asked me if I could help her register to vote twice in two separate counties so that she could make sure that Romney doesn't get elected. I will help her register once, legally. Lol.

-On why she hasn't been to church in decades: "Bishop invites me to come all the time. He's the best Bishop in the world- twenty years he has visited me now. I told him I don't have the right shoes or dress. He said nobody would mind what I wear. That's probably true. Anyway, I'm 92 years old and I am sleeping in on a Sunday and there's not a thing anyone can do about it-- not even the Bishop. But he is a wonderful Bishop."

That's just a few of the funniest bits-- not including the time she got into a gun-wielding altercation with a "crazy Mormon drug-addict ex-daughter-in-law" back in the 70's, or her motives for joining up with the Mormons in the first place (The initial appearance of the missionaries pissed off the Baptist "skitzo-termite-bastard" she was married to, which immediately impressed her). She then offered me an old pass-a-long card and gave me the rundown on the history of the Book of Mormon-- the old-school version before the church realized that claims about Native Americans were obviously problematic. She really knew her stuff and has very deep and sincere love for the gospel. This lady is amazing. I think she's my favorite Mormon qua Mormon ever.

Anyway, thought you all might enjoy hearing about that.

This lady is a goddess to be sure.

By the way, for the sake of the historical record, I thought the word was "schizo."

Thanks for sharing this. I envy you your duties collecting such accounts. People can be so fascinating.

The elderly gentleman who lives next to me flew bombers in WWII.

angsty wrote:

Chap wrote:Very old ladies who still have all their marbles are some of the best company I know.

True, true. I love how they just don't give a damn about conforming to the expectations of other people. It gives me courage.

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

I will always treasure the memories of I have of several discussions with an elderly neighbor in Mesa Arizona about 18 years ago. If I recall correctly, he was in his late 80s at the time. He served as one of the last missionaries in Germany pre-WWII. He actually saw several Nazi rallies and saw Hitler speak several times. I have many relatives (mostly deceased now) that fought in WWII, but it was amazing to hear from someone that was there during Hitler's rise to power. Chilling stuff indeed . . .

Kishkumen wrote:By the way, for the sake of the historical record, I thought the word was "schizo."

Lol. "Skitzo" is her preferred spelling, so I use it when quoting. I first came across it on the back of a photo of "his lowness" casually labeled "skitzo-termite-bastard". I didn't know who it was, so I asked and...

It really is an extraordinary opportunity. Sometimes I get jealous of myself.

Cicero wrote:I will always treasure the memories of I have of several discussions with an elderly neighbor in Mesa Arizona about 18 years ago. If I recall correctly, he was in his late 80s at the time. He served as one of the last missionaries in Germany pre-WWII. He actually saw several Nazi rallies and saw Hitler speak several times. I have many relatives (mostly deceased now) that fought in WWII, but it was amazing to hear from someone that was there during Hitler's rise to power. Chilling stuff indeed . . .

It really is special, isn't it? At the same visit yesterday, she handed me a picture of two uniformed gentlemen, and said "You'll want to get this one first". On the back of it, she had written, and underlined "Back when they made real men". Both of them (cousins) had died in the war. This lady went up north to work in munitions factories as a young lady and she has given me really incredible stories and photos about it. I just eat it up. I'm so lucky to get to have anything to do with it at all.

angsty wrote:

Kishkumen wrote:By the way, for the sake of the historical record, I thought the word was "schizo."

Lol. "Skitzo" is her preferred spelling, so I use it when quoting. I first came across it on the back of a photo of "his lowness" casually labeled "skitzo-termite-bastard". I didn't know who it was, so I asked and...

It really is an extraordinary opportunity. Sometimes I get jealous of myself.

And I realize that's what [sic] is for-- we've adopted her spelling around work these days, so I forget.

You have my dream job, angsty.

Also, I think I know a few skitzo-termite-bastards, myself.