DiscussMormonism.com

Let's be honest. Every ward and branch I've been in has focused to some degree on "reactivating" the less active. I've been in PEC meetings, ward councils, and elders and high priests leadership meetings where this topic has been discussed.

But it's never about helping individuals or families. It's about getting someone's butt in the pews on Sundays. Once they are coming to church, their names can be checked off and the next family fellowshipped until they surrender. in my opinion, the church would have much better success reactivating members if they cared about the people more than they care about the numbers.

Members of our ward seem very concerned about us. They bring us cookies and flowers and are very kind to us. They are never sarcastic and always speak kindly and respectfully like we are significantly older than them. They also apologize to us when they feel something crazy was mentioned at church. Tons of members know our names - even our children's names. I have no idea who they are. I'm sure their concern for us has everything to do with us being really special, possibly even premortal royalty, than anything regarding our semi-active status during the last couple months and inactive status of the previous year.

Bob Loblaw wrote:Let's be honest. Every ward and branch I've been in has focused to some degree on "reactivating" the less active. I've been in PEC meetings, ward councils, and elders and high priests leadership meetings where this topic has been discussed.

But it's never about helping individuals or families. It's about getting someone's butt in the pews on Sundays. Once they are coming to church, their names can be checked off and the next family fellowshipped until they surrender. in my opinion, the church would have much better success reactivating members if they cared about the people more than they care about the numbers.

Posts like this make me really respect Amway.

zeezrom wrote:Members of our ward seem very concerned about us. They bring us cookies and flowers and are very kind to us. They are never sarcastic and always speak kindly and respectfully like we are significantly older than them. They also apologize to us when they feel something crazy was mentioned at church. Tons of members know our names - even our children's names. I have no idea who they are. I'm sure their concern for us has everything to do with us being really special, possibly even premortal royalty, than anything regarding our semi-active status during the last couple months and inactive status of the previous year.

What does it all mean (serious question)?

Why do the members care if one or two families drift away? It reminds me of a the old Aesop fable, "The Fox Without a Tail". The fox loses his tail in a trap and then tries to convince all the other foxes that it's much better that way. Misery loves company.

Or is it that the members' own insecure beliefs are reinforced by being able to convince a drifting member to come back?

I think they have good intentions, for the most part, and are acting according to their conscience. That conscience being formed by what they are taught and believed. Some probably do care. Most are doing what they think they should do, even if they don't really want to do it.

I get letters, now and then, from a visiting teacher. They are all gushy, I love you, and they are sweet. But I am sure if we met at the grocery store, or on the street, neither of us would recognize the other. I joke with my husband, that while we're on walks in the evening, smoking, it's probably my little letter writing visiting teacher who gives us those dirty looks.

It's a very impersonal, keep your distance, sort of love bombing going on in these parts. I think at times they are living out a fantasy of some sorts. One where I am spurred to church on Sunday because the last gushing letter I received caused my bosom to burn and my intellect to suddenly realize, OMG! Joseph Smith is a true prophet!

I'm ok. They're ok.

zeezrom wrote:Members of our ward seem very concerned about us. They bring us cookies and flowers and are very kind to us. They are never sarcastic and always speak kindly and respectfully like we are significantly older than them. They also apologize to us when they feel something crazy was mentioned at church. Tons of members know our names - even our children's names. I have no idea who they are. I'm sure their concern for us has everything to do with us being really special, possibly even premortal royalty, than anything regarding our semi-active status during the last couple months and inactive status of the previous year.

Don't worry Zee, all you have to do is show up in a white shirt and suit each week and you can go right back to having the same old bland, milquetoast conversations you had before (if they pay any attention to you at all), plus all the awkward conversations about whether you have done your home teaching.

Back to Bob's OP: I really think the problem is that American Mormons are, generally speaking, very bad at communicating with each other, which is a barrier to forming real friendships (there are, of course, many exceptions to this . . . I am admittedly speaking in general terms here). We all feel like we have to look good and put on a happy face or people will think we are not good Mormons. It's makes it very hard to form true relationships with our fellow ward members when such inauthenticity abounds.

Bob Loblaw wrote:Let's be honest. Every ward and branch I've been in has focused to some degree on "reactivating" the less active. I've been in PEC meetings, ward councils, and elders and high priests leadership meetings where this topic has been discussed.

Yep.

But it's never about helping individuals or families. It's about getting someone's butt in the pews on Sundays. Once they are coming to church, their names can be checked off and the next family fellowshipped until they surrender.

My experience there has been different. We actually have 2 different lists. One is for inactives or friends that the missionaries can visit, and another list is about members with needs: just had twins, medical problems, employment, etc.

asbestosman wrote:
My experience there has been different. We actually have 2 different lists. One is for inactives or friends that the missionaries can visit,

There needs to be a "do not contact list".