I don't think I'm missing out

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_Bob Loblaw
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I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _Bob Loblaw »

Droopy just reminded me of something: I've never been high before. In fact, I've never taken drugs of any kind except for a Lortab or two a few years ago after surgery, and I did not like the way it made me feel.

I've also never used tobacco, gotten drunk, had hard liquor, or even had wine. I've had beer a couple of times but did not like it. Heck, I don't even like tea, though on a cold day I'll occasionally drink coffee.

I've never had sex with anyone but my wife. I haven't even done anything approaching a "Mormon lay" (still skeeves me out to say that).

I know this is destroying my image as the enemy of all that is good in the world, but I don't think I've missed anything. The times I feel the best are after a good run or a long swim, or when I'm with my wife and kids. I suppose if I thought something was missing in my life, I'd be more inclined to experiment. But I have no interest.

Am I depriving myself? I don't think so.
"It doesn't seem fair, does it Norm--that I should have so much knowledge when there are people in the world that have to go to bed stupid every night." -- Clifford C. Clavin, USPS

"¡No contaban con mi astucia!" -- El Chapulin Colorado
_Quasimodo
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _Quasimodo »

What have you been doing with your time? You have a great deal of catching up to do. Start with the wine.
This, or any other post that I have made or will make in the future, is strictly my own opinion and consequently of little or no value.

"Faith is believing something you know ain't true" Twain.
_son of Ishmael
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _son of Ishmael »

Um...what is a "Mormon lay"?
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo

Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. - The Dude

Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk - Tom Waits
_Everybody Wang Chung
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _Everybody Wang Chung »

son of Ishmael wrote:Um...what is a "Mormon lay"?



Talk to Liz. Evidently, this sort of thing happens all the time in her Goddess Suite.
"I'm on paid sabbatical from BYU in exchange for my promise to use this time to finish two books."

Daniel C. Peterson, 2014
_3sheets2thewind
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _3sheets2thewind »

son of Ishmael wrote:Um...what is a "Mormon lay"?


right off the bat I think "dry humping" a.k.a. "levi lov'n', both people keep their cloths on and grind on each other like to orgasm like it was sex.

Other options I suppose (this comes from a friend who related what his bishop said during a 5th sunday meeting for the singles ward)

Sex with a condom violates the LoC. (Yes, somehow two people convinced themselves that sex with a condom was did not violate the law of Chasity)
Anal sex violates the LoC.
Oral sex violates the LoC.
Being naked and grinding gentials to orgasm violates the LoC.
Masturbating each other violates the LoC.

Though none of those are unique to Mormon youth/Young adults.
_3sheets2thewind
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _3sheets2thewind »

Bob Loblaw wrote:Droopy just reminded me of something: I've never been high before. In fact, I've never taken drugs of any kind except for a Lortab or two a few years ago after surgery, and I did not like the way it made me feel.

...

I suppose if I thought something was missing in my life, I'd be more inclined to experiment. But I have no interest.

Am I depriving myself? I don't think so.


No, you have not deprived yourself, you have done very well for yourself. I agree with your assessment that if you thought something was missing you would be inclined to experiment.
_MrStakhanovite
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _MrStakhanovite »

son of Ishmael wrote:Um...what is a "Mormon lay"?


This started a whole new board meme.

ETA: The best part was he said it in response to Blixa, he intended that comment for her.
_hobo1512
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _hobo1512 »

Bob Loblaw wrote:Droopy just reminded me of something: I've never been high before. In fact, I've never taken drugs of any kind except for a Lortab or two a few years ago after surgery, and I did not like the way it made me feel.

I've also never used tobacco, gotten drunk, had hard liquor, or even had wine. I've had beer a couple of times but did not like it. Heck, I don't even like tea, though on a cold day I'll occasionally drink coffee.

I've never had sex with anyone but my wife. I haven't even done anything approaching a "Mormon lay" (still skeeves me out to say that).

I know this is destroying my image as the enemy of all that is good in the world, but I don't think I've missed anything. The times I feel the best are after a good run or a long swim, or when I'm with my wife and kids. I suppose if I thought something was missing in my life, I'd be more inclined to experiment. But I have no interest.

Am I depriving myself? I don't think so.


But have you whacked the willy? Spanked the monkey? Calmed the Cobra? Choked the Chicken?

If not, start.... :mrgreen:
_son of Ishmael
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _son of Ishmael »

3sheets2thewind wrote:
son of Ishmael wrote:Um...what is a "Mormon lay"?


right off the bat I think "dry humping" a.k.a. "levi lov'n', both people keep their cloths on and grind on each other like to orgasm like it was sex.

Other options I suppose (this comes from a friend who related what his bishop said during a 5th sunday meeting for the singles ward)

Sex with a condom violates the LoC. (Yes, somehow two people convinced themselves that sex with a condom was did not violate the law of Chasity)
Anal sex violates the LoC.
Oral sex violates the LoC.
Being naked and grinding gentials to orgasm violates the LoC.
Masturbating each other violates the LoC.

Though none of those are unique to Mormon youth/Young adults.


Oh thanks.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo

Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. - The Dude

Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk - Tom Waits
_Rambo
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Re: I don't think I'm missing out

Post by _Rambo »

Bob Loblaw wrote:I've never been high before.

I'll have to admit getting high is a good time. It is especially fun when you combine it with food, music, and sex. I don't need weed to have a good time but it sure does add to the fun.

I've also never used tobacco

You are not missing out on this one. Sheesha can be kind of fun sometimes and I don't find it to be addicting at all. It almost gives you a little high.

gotten drunk, had hard liquor, or even had wine. I've had beer a couple of times but did not like it.

Getting drunk isn't that much fun especially black out drunk. Getting a little tipsy is pretty fun though and you might want to try it some time.

Heck, I don't even like tea, though on a cold day I'll occasionally drink coffee.

I still don't like tea or coffee.

I've never had sex with anyone but my wife.

That's good! If you were single I would be encouraging you to have sex with protection.

good run or a long swim

Working out is the only thing I am addicted to. The feeling is great and it's hard to beat.

I suppose if I thought something was missing in my life


You may be missing out. Say if you have never had pizza before and you were pefectly happy without pizza. You have heard it is bad for you so why would you try it? Then maybe you try it once and you realize you really like pizza even though it is bad for you. Would you stop having pizza? Once and a while you can have pizza and you won't be unhealthy. I hope this made sense...
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