Men's (Nightmare) Plan of Salvation: A Fable
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 10:32 pm
Hi Everyone --
I thought this might be a perfect place to post my fable on "Men's (Nightmare) PLan of Salvation" :
Here's a little something i wrote some time ago, to help LDS men understand appreciate the world that LDS women live in. I thought someone here might enjoy it *g*
Men's (Nightmare) Plan of Salvation: (c) By Gaia
Imagine for a moment that somehow, the entire situation in the Church is completely reversed.
It is *women* who lead the ecclesiastical program of the Church, and women Priestesses make decisions about what is important and what isn't....
And we decided that since you men have to go out and make a living in the world, you just don't have enough time and energy to also appropriately handle all the responsibilities of a male priesthood. It's "revealed" to the Prophetess of the Church that it's just not "an important part of the program" right now. So we (or rather, Heavenly Mother Goddess) *forbids* you from using male priesthood (of course, the term is not capitalized, the way *real* Priestesshood is).
You are discouraged from using the Gifts of the Spirit, and "advised" to "call for the Priestesshood" if any such spiritual ordinances are needed.
You attend General Conference with your children, (but your wife has special "Priestess-hood Sessions" to which you are pointedly NOT invited) where you are taught (by FEMALE General Authorities) to "obey your Wife, and sustain her Priestesshood" and obey Heavenly Mother. If "Heavenly FAther" is mentioned at all, it's in romantic, sentimental but vague terms designed to keep Him definitely in the background. You don't need Him, after all -- your exemplar is Y'Shua Christa, our Lady and Savioress, Who came to lead us all back to Heavenly Mother, our Goddess and "the only Goddess with whom we have to do." The term "god" becomes a strange, foreign one that even sounds weird to pronounce -- and faintly hints at paganism.
You stay home with the kids a lot, in order to support your wife's Priestess-hood responsibilities, and you're often counseled (in the men's auxiliary) how important and "exalted" is your calling in that regard -- as a "helpmeet" and support for your wife, the Priestess-hood holder.
After all, you're often reminded in church talks, you men -- represented by Adam -- were the ones who resisted and had to be encouraged by Great Mother Eve to enter fully into Heavenly Mother's glorious Plan of Salvation - and poor old Adam never did seem to "wake up" fully....hehheh.
When your wife is absent, of course, your eleven year old daughter is encouraged to assume "Priestess-hood responsibility" for the entire household, and you support her in that. Your sons are all raised from infancy to honor, sustain and especially *obey* the Priestesshood, especially in their sisters and mother. They never even *hear* that there is anything called "priesthood" -- in fact, if by chance somebody does happen to mention the idea, they are taught to grow offended and defensive -- "i don't NEED any male priesthood, my Mom has the REAL Priestesshood, and when i get married, my Wife will have it...and besides, one shouldn't aspire to position....and after all, who would *want* all that responsibility and hard work?"
The (all female) General Authorities like to say that men "hold the Priesthood when they hold their wives"....hehehheh.
All the church manuals, lessons and scriptures are rewritten ("Preistesshood Correlation", yknow) to excise any references to male priesthood. You are of course forbidden to discuss it in the "men's auxiliary" program -- and besides, you're too busy there learning how to become a more appealing husband and create a comfortable, pleasing home "retreat" for your Priesetesshood wife when she returns home from her very important Priestesshood responsibilities.
You look on in pride when your Preistesshood wife (together with other Priestesshood women) blesses and names, then baptizes and confirms, each of your children in turn.....Together, you teach your girl children to prepare to serve an honorable Mission; and you teach your boys to work toward being worthy of the Greatest Honor -- being sealed in the Temple to an honorable, active, Returned Missionary Priestesshood holder.
You notice how people begin confusing the term "women" with "Priestesshood", like "We're waiting for the Priestesshood to arrive, before we start the meeting," and "We're so grateful to the men for supporting the Priestesshood pancake breakfast." It vaguely reminds you of announcements like, "Everyone is invited to the Ward Dinner -- and bring your husbands, too." But you can't quite figure out why.
In Sunday school lessons, you learn about the history of the world and the absolutely crucial role that Priestesshood has played in Heavenly Mother's great Plan....all the great Preistesses down through history, and you resolve to work to become more like those great Priestesses -- at least, as much as you can, being a man and all.
When somebody makes a joke about how dense poor old Adam was in the garden, and how men have never quite "woken up" from that "deep sleep" put on them, you feel a vague discomfort but remind yourself that it's just a joke and you shouldn't be so easily offended. And, as someone comments thoughtfully, men *have* been denied Priestesshood, so maybe there *is* something about them that is lacking.....
When you go to the Temple, you notice that you men also wear the "Robes of the Holy Preistesshood" but nobody can explain to you why, unless you also have some kind of male priesthood???
If you raise that question to someone who should know -- like the Temple Presidentess, for example, -- she smiles indulgently, pats you on the arm, and says, "oh, dear brother, you're such a *sweet* spirit, always worrying about such things....You don't want to go grey - -or bald! -- before your time, do you? Some day we'll have all the answers ...but right now what's important is for you to go home, be a good husband and support your wife's Holy Priestesshood."
If you ever mention the idea again, the "big guns" are brought out --You're accused of not appreciating your important, exalted role in the Queendom of the Goddess as your wife's very important support; of misunderstanding Priestesshood, or "coveting" it and its authority and power. You're asked why you want to *be* a Bishopess anyway.... You're asked what your problem is with the natural order that the Lady established, or with power and authority -- perhaps you've had some unfortunate experiences with some particular holder of the Priestesshood that has made you angry, hostile and bitter, and misunderstand Priestesshod entirely.
After all, you know, Priestesshood is really about *service*, not getting things for yourself -- and obviously you're not even worthy of it when you so misunderstand it. And finally, you're reminded that questioning the leaders or the policies of the Church, sowing questions and discord, is Satan's (and of course, the "natural Man's) Way".
Even *discussing* the very *idea* of male priesthood could get you hauled into the Bishopess's office ...after all, there's the "Strengthening the Members" committee that is on guard against such dangerous, heretical ideas.
You are taught to look forward and work diligently for that glorious day when your wife will call you forth into the Resurrection of the Just, and lead you through the "veil" --
(which is, as some great scriptorian High Priestesses reveal to you, the symbolic "hymen" over the "Holy of Holies" which represents the Great Mother Goddess Herself) --
-- And guide you into the Presence of Christa and Heavenly Mother, where you (together with all your wife's other husbands, of course) will go on to create and build up Her Kingdom -- and you will finally get to be a real Priest -- unto Her.
Ah, it's a glorious life, a glorious Gospel, a glorious Plan of Salvation, isn't it.
~Gaia
I thought this might be a perfect place to post my fable on "Men's (Nightmare) PLan of Salvation" :
Here's a little something i wrote some time ago, to help LDS men understand appreciate the world that LDS women live in. I thought someone here might enjoy it *g*
Men's (Nightmare) Plan of Salvation: (c) By Gaia
Imagine for a moment that somehow, the entire situation in the Church is completely reversed.
It is *women* who lead the ecclesiastical program of the Church, and women Priestesses make decisions about what is important and what isn't....
And we decided that since you men have to go out and make a living in the world, you just don't have enough time and energy to also appropriately handle all the responsibilities of a male priesthood. It's "revealed" to the Prophetess of the Church that it's just not "an important part of the program" right now. So we (or rather, Heavenly Mother Goddess) *forbids* you from using male priesthood (of course, the term is not capitalized, the way *real* Priestesshood is).
You are discouraged from using the Gifts of the Spirit, and "advised" to "call for the Priestesshood" if any such spiritual ordinances are needed.
You attend General Conference with your children, (but your wife has special "Priestess-hood Sessions" to which you are pointedly NOT invited) where you are taught (by FEMALE General Authorities) to "obey your Wife, and sustain her Priestesshood" and obey Heavenly Mother. If "Heavenly FAther" is mentioned at all, it's in romantic, sentimental but vague terms designed to keep Him definitely in the background. You don't need Him, after all -- your exemplar is Y'Shua Christa, our Lady and Savioress, Who came to lead us all back to Heavenly Mother, our Goddess and "the only Goddess with whom we have to do." The term "god" becomes a strange, foreign one that even sounds weird to pronounce -- and faintly hints at paganism.
You stay home with the kids a lot, in order to support your wife's Priestess-hood responsibilities, and you're often counseled (in the men's auxiliary) how important and "exalted" is your calling in that regard -- as a "helpmeet" and support for your wife, the Priestess-hood holder.
After all, you're often reminded in church talks, you men -- represented by Adam -- were the ones who resisted and had to be encouraged by Great Mother Eve to enter fully into Heavenly Mother's glorious Plan of Salvation - and poor old Adam never did seem to "wake up" fully....hehheh.
When your wife is absent, of course, your eleven year old daughter is encouraged to assume "Priestess-hood responsibility" for the entire household, and you support her in that. Your sons are all raised from infancy to honor, sustain and especially *obey* the Priestesshood, especially in their sisters and mother. They never even *hear* that there is anything called "priesthood" -- in fact, if by chance somebody does happen to mention the idea, they are taught to grow offended and defensive -- "i don't NEED any male priesthood, my Mom has the REAL Priestesshood, and when i get married, my Wife will have it...and besides, one shouldn't aspire to position....and after all, who would *want* all that responsibility and hard work?"
The (all female) General Authorities like to say that men "hold the Priesthood when they hold their wives"....hehehheh.
All the church manuals, lessons and scriptures are rewritten ("Preistesshood Correlation", yknow) to excise any references to male priesthood. You are of course forbidden to discuss it in the "men's auxiliary" program -- and besides, you're too busy there learning how to become a more appealing husband and create a comfortable, pleasing home "retreat" for your Priesetesshood wife when she returns home from her very important Priestesshood responsibilities.
You look on in pride when your Preistesshood wife (together with other Priestesshood women) blesses and names, then baptizes and confirms, each of your children in turn.....Together, you teach your girl children to prepare to serve an honorable Mission; and you teach your boys to work toward being worthy of the Greatest Honor -- being sealed in the Temple to an honorable, active, Returned Missionary Priestesshood holder.
You notice how people begin confusing the term "women" with "Priestesshood", like "We're waiting for the Priestesshood to arrive, before we start the meeting," and "We're so grateful to the men for supporting the Priestesshood pancake breakfast." It vaguely reminds you of announcements like, "Everyone is invited to the Ward Dinner -- and bring your husbands, too." But you can't quite figure out why.
In Sunday school lessons, you learn about the history of the world and the absolutely crucial role that Priestesshood has played in Heavenly Mother's great Plan....all the great Preistesses down through history, and you resolve to work to become more like those great Priestesses -- at least, as much as you can, being a man and all.
When somebody makes a joke about how dense poor old Adam was in the garden, and how men have never quite "woken up" from that "deep sleep" put on them, you feel a vague discomfort but remind yourself that it's just a joke and you shouldn't be so easily offended. And, as someone comments thoughtfully, men *have* been denied Priestesshood, so maybe there *is* something about them that is lacking.....
When you go to the Temple, you notice that you men also wear the "Robes of the Holy Preistesshood" but nobody can explain to you why, unless you also have some kind of male priesthood???
If you raise that question to someone who should know -- like the Temple Presidentess, for example, -- she smiles indulgently, pats you on the arm, and says, "oh, dear brother, you're such a *sweet* spirit, always worrying about such things....You don't want to go grey - -or bald! -- before your time, do you? Some day we'll have all the answers ...but right now what's important is for you to go home, be a good husband and support your wife's Holy Priestesshood."
If you ever mention the idea again, the "big guns" are brought out --You're accused of not appreciating your important, exalted role in the Queendom of the Goddess as your wife's very important support; of misunderstanding Priestesshood, or "coveting" it and its authority and power. You're asked why you want to *be* a Bishopess anyway.... You're asked what your problem is with the natural order that the Lady established, or with power and authority -- perhaps you've had some unfortunate experiences with some particular holder of the Priestesshood that has made you angry, hostile and bitter, and misunderstand Priestesshod entirely.
After all, you know, Priestesshood is really about *service*, not getting things for yourself -- and obviously you're not even worthy of it when you so misunderstand it. And finally, you're reminded that questioning the leaders or the policies of the Church, sowing questions and discord, is Satan's (and of course, the "natural Man's) Way".
Even *discussing* the very *idea* of male priesthood could get you hauled into the Bishopess's office ...after all, there's the "Strengthening the Members" committee that is on guard against such dangerous, heretical ideas.
You are taught to look forward and work diligently for that glorious day when your wife will call you forth into the Resurrection of the Just, and lead you through the "veil" --
(which is, as some great scriptorian High Priestesses reveal to you, the symbolic "hymen" over the "Holy of Holies" which represents the Great Mother Goddess Herself) --
-- And guide you into the Presence of Christa and Heavenly Mother, where you (together with all your wife's other husbands, of course) will go on to create and build up Her Kingdom -- and you will finally get to be a real Priest -- unto Her.
Ah, it's a glorious life, a glorious Gospel, a glorious Plan of Salvation, isn't it.
~Gaia
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