When a missionary calls

[_LDSToronto]

November marks one year since I have attended church and to honour me, the missionaries are coming for a visit! This Wednesday, two young servants of the Lord will cross my threshold and we will have a tete-a-tete.

I am excited! In the year since I left, the ward to which I belonged has given me a good and proper shunning. The bishop (a long time friend), his counselors (both friends), the high priest group leader (an arsehole, but duty bound to rescue me), the ward mission leader (supposedly a kindred spirit), even the stake president (with whom I served for a *very* long time), and countless other ward and stake members, abandoned me. None, and I mean none, as in zero, visited, called, emailed, sent cards, invited me to ward events like the bbq, the Christmas party or the assorted and sundry potlucks.

Radio silence.

So, I am excited! Excited that I have landed on a rescue list! Excited that when the elders come, we will have a good and proper confab concerning the false claims of the church, the piss-poor execution of the gospel by 'saints' in my ward, and whatever else tickles my fancy. Yes, I will call these boys and their masters to repentance: they will feel the fiery rage the Lord has kindled against them for abandoning one of the Lord's anointed! And they will quake when they return and report.

Question: What wine goes best with a missionary roasting? A bold, full bodied malbec? Or a crisp, dry riesling? Perhaps wine isn't the way to go - maybe a black stout to lend courage followed by a bitter and toasty pale ale to lighten the palate? It is the Christmas season, so I could serve nog, rum balls and whisky spice cake, and gingerbread men for any teetotallers. Would I offend by asking a Mormon man to eat a cookie shaped like a man?

I am open to subjects of conversation that you would all like covered, and suggestions of what to serve!

H.

[_hobo1512]

I am sure you are mistaken here.

I have been told over and over by TBM's that no shunning occurs. Maybe it is your alcohol addiction that is feeding that delusion.

I'm a middle of the road kind of guy on wine. A nice Zin goes with just about everything.

Bon Apetit

[_Willy Law]

Missionaries came by our house the other day as well. I just cannot bring myself to unload or be anything but kind to them. They are just clueless 19 year olds trying to do what they have been taught is right, just as I was 20 years ago. I doubt they were sent by your church leadership, more than likely just finding something to fill their day so they are not out annoying the masses.
I say if they act like self righteous pricks have at them, but other than that I would cut them some slack.

[_sock puppet]

Missionaries came by our house the other day as well. I just cannot bring myself to unload or be anything but kind to them. They are just clueless 19 year olds trying to do what they have been taught is right, just as I was 20 years ago. I doubt they were sent by your church leadership, more than likely just finding something to fill their day so they are not out annoying the masses.
I say if they act like self righteous pricks have at them, but other than that I would cut them some slack.

I do not show them any LDS 'sinning' in my house.

A wry smile of knowledge at the right moments will cause them to inquire in their own minds what it might be that you know that they do not.

Whatever they might say, I always tantalize them with 'deeper' doctrine--entirely LDS version. This lets them know that I know as much or more than do they.

If asked, I have no 'offense' to relay to them as why I am no longer a member.

My apostasy is

• not the result of ignorance of these 'truths' they come a peddling,
• not the desire for sin or having been offended.

For them, I am an enigma at best, a paradox at worst. Either way, their curiosity will get the best of them--and that is my gift to them.

[_Sammy Jankins]

Along the lines of what Sock Puppet said, I think it's better to pique their curiosity than to try to debate them.
Generally I try to plant the idea in their mind that there are things that the church hasn't told them. After all I don't think you can deconvert someone in a short period of time. The best you can hope for is to put them on a path.

[_Blixa]

Feed them a good meal. Entertain them in perfect kindness and hopefully they will respond in kind.

[_why me]

I am excited! In the year since I left, the ward to which I belonged has given me a good and proper shunning. The bishop (a long time friend), his counselors (both friends), the high priest group leader (an arsehole, but duty bound to rescue me), the ward mission leader (supposedly a kindred spirit), even the stake president (with whom I served for a *very* long time), and countless other ward and stake members, abandoned me. None, and I mean none, as in zero, visited, called, emailed, sent cards, invited me to ward events like the bbq, the Christmas party or the assorted and sundry potlucks.

Radio silence.

H.

Well, I don't know....maybe just maybe if you treat them as you treat the Mormons on this forum and made your ideas clear about the church to them as you do here, maybe just maybe, they may not think that you want to be bothered or if they do bother you, you may not appreciate it. I have seen people on the internet moan about the church bothering them and not leaving them alone. The LDS church just can't win. If they show concern, they get bitched at. If they don't show concern, they get bitched at.

[_why me]

Question: What wine goes best with a missionary roasting? A bold, full bodied malbec? Or a crisp, dry riesling? Perhaps wine isn't the way to go - maybe a black stout to lend courage followed by a bitter and toasty pale ale to lighten the palate? It is the Christmas season, so I could serve nog, rum balls and whisky spice cake, and gingerbread men for any teetotallers. Would I offend by asking a Mormon man to eat a cookie shaped like a man?

I am open to subjects of conversation that you would all like covered, and suggestions of what to serve!

H.

My case in point. Who would want to visit you with this attitude? Better to be in a vietcong prison camp

[_why me]

November marks one year since I have attended church and to honour me, the missionaries are coming for a visit! This Wednesday, two young servants of the Lord will cross my threshold and we will have a tete-a-tete.
H.

Obviously you are not too shunned. The missionaries are coming for a visit to see how you are. I have this sneaky feeling that the ward members may not feel too welcome to ring your doorbell.

[_Ceeboo]

Hey Toronto

First, I am sorry to learn that you have been shunned.

Although I have no specific advice for your coming visit, I did want to share my personal struggles when I have opened my door and found the young and unseasoned faces of these LDS missionaries.

This has happened to me about 6 times in the last several years.

Each time I have opened the door (and I still struggle with this on many levels) I have simply and only invited them in, feed them, shared a few smiles with them, and then found a way to see them off and on their way.

The struggles I face are many and deeply layered, a mere few are:

I am a Christian who believes in the Bible.
They are a long way from home/family/support.
They are very young.

Anyway, all I can say is that I honestly struggle, a lot, when I answer the door.

Peace,
Ceeboo

November marks one year since I have attended church and to honour me, the missionaries are coming for a visit! This Wednesday, two young servants of the Lord will cross my threshold and we will have a tete-a-tete.

I am excited! In the year since I left, the ward to which I belonged has given me a good and proper shunning. The bishop (a long time friend), his counselors (both friends), the high priest group leader (an arsehole, but duty bound to rescue me), the ward mission leader (supposedly a kindred spirit), even the stake president (with whom I served for a *very* long time), and countless other ward and stake members, abandoned me. None, and I mean none, as in zero, visited, called, emailed, sent cards, invited me to ward events like the bbq, the Christmas party or the assorted and sundry potlucks.

Radio silence.

So, I am excited! Excited that I have landed on a rescue list! Excited that when the elders come, we will have a good and proper confab concerning the false claims of the church, the piss-poor execution of the gospel by 'saints' in my ward, and whatever else tickles my fancy. Yes, I will call these boys and their masters to repentance: they will feel the fiery rage the Lord has kindled against them for abandoning one of the Lord's anointed! And they will quake when they return and report.

Question: What wine goes best with a missionary roasting? A bold, full bodied malbec? Or a crisp, dry riesling? Perhaps wine isn't the way to go - maybe a black stout to lend courage followed by a bitter and toasty pale ale to lighten the palate? It is the Christmas season, so I could serve nog, rum balls and whisky spice cake, and gingerbread men for any teetotallers. Would I offend by asking a Mormon man to eat a cookie shaped like a man?

I am open to subjects of conversation that you would all like covered, and suggestions of what to serve!

H.