TBMs: Feelings about Apostate Family (or Friends)

[_sock puppet]

In a post in another thread,

MormonStories has not directly affected any of my family members who left the Church (they haven't actually heard of it as far as I am aware).

Here at MDB there has been a plethora of discussion about apostates and NOMs relationships towards yet TBM family and friends, post-apostasy (or becoming NOMs, to the extent known to the TBM family and friends).

This mention by Wiki Wonka made we wonder the attitude in 2013 of TBMs, particularly Internet ones, who have family and friends that have left the fold (or at least do not continue to embrace all the truth claims) of the LDS. Back in the day of my TBMness, decades ago that it ended, there was certainly a shunning among TBMs towards the apostates. The apostates were so labeled and treated with great suspicion and as though being too near them one might him/herself get snatched in the devil's hold on those apostates. Fraternizing with the apostates was an implicit taboo, unless you were dispatched by the ward's PEC to work on the apostate as a 'project' for return to the fold.

I suspect that might not be quite the attitude today. After all, were up to our necks now in the Internet phase of the information age. And I also suspect that to the degree this shunning and stay-away approach might linger, it is less so with Internet TBMs than strictly Chapel Mo's.

So, I'm curious how current Internet TBMs with family or friends that are NOMs or flat-out apostates might compare the LDS cultural attitude today towards those NOMs and apostates to what it was back in the day.

Also, Wiki Wonka in the quoted passage is basically pointing out he has no beef with MormonStories because his/her apostate family members were not, to his knowledge, affected by MormonStories in their exit. So what is the attitude of current TBMs, for example, towards the facilitators (like MormonStories has been to many) to exit TBMhood by family and friends that are now apostates?

[_lostindc]

TBMs are absolutely still shunning. My in-laws have been less than friendly when discussing why we no longer have temple recommends. Unfortunately the subject is unavoidable due to weddings.

I have three Mormons in my family tree (ever, no ancestors, nada). These three Mormons are pushing very hard for us to get our kids baptized Mormon. They have shown nothing less than disappointment when they hear we did not go to Church. I once was told by one of them that they could never be happy for me if I did not marry in the temple (I did not but later was sealed). Every time we're around two in particular they attempt to teach our kids the 'gospel' and often throw an ensign in our bag as we leave.

Basically, my family not practicing Mormonism has caused them depression due to guilt. They're guilted into thinking w, or they, did something wrong and that is why we no longer practice the faith. Mormon guilt is a disgusting pit of hell.

[_Stormy Waters]

Personally I haven't seen any softening. Does knowlwdge of the difficult issues soften the stance of TBM's towards apostates? After exposure to critical information I think we see two largely different outcomes.
From the NOMish crowd you see a lot of empathy and understanding for non-believers. Having been there themselves they seem to understand and empathize with those who have lost faith. They deserve a lot of credit for this.
From the apologetic crowd you get some of the harhest reactions. They know it all and still believe and seemingly look down on anyone who can't or doesn't. You could argue that this is rooted in insecurity.

The problem is that I don't think the Information Age has changed things all that much. Despite the ease of access to critical information many average Mormons still shy away from it.

[_bcspace]

Ah yes, The Shunning. We just simply tell them to "stay here till you're no longer insane".

[_Kittens_and_Jesus]

Luckily for me, no one in my family has shunned me since I left the church. By the time I left four out of six of my siblings had already left the church as well, and that may have had something to do with it. At first my parents kept insisting to me that I still knew the Gospel was true and that 'd be coming back someday. Fast forward twelve years ahead to the present and they have long since given upon bringing us back into the fold.

The only people who have shunned me are two of my childhood friends. We three were inseparable growing up ,a trio of best friends. We could always count on each other, or so I thought. I never spoke to them of my reasons for leaving or trash talked the church in front of them, but they started avoiding me when I stopped attending. At this point they won't even speak to me. It was devastating at first, but I've since made better friends. Friends that don't care what religion I belong to, or if I belong to one at all.

[_Kittens_and_Jesus]

Ah yes, The Shunning. We just simply tell them to "stay here till you're no longer insane".

You really shouldn't make light of the suffering of others. I doubt you'd find it funny if we made jokes about people being shunned by family for joining the church.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

I was just informed by my spouse that her uncle stated "... smoking a cigarette is as bad as murder since both will keep you out of the Celestial Kingdom."

This comes from a man who is very accomplished in his field, and is well-regarded by his community.

Where in the world is he getting this mindset from, and is there anything in place within the Mormon church to set this kind of thinking straight?

- Doc

[_bcspace]

Ah yes, The Shunning. We just simply tell them to "stay here till you're no longer insane".

You really shouldn't make light of the suffering of others. I doubt you'd find it funny if we made jokes about people being shunned by family for joining the church.

I find humor in every situation. Especially in cases where most of the suffering is probably imagined or self-inflicted.

[_SteelHead]

I was just informed by my spouse that her uncle stated "... smoking a cigarette is as bad as murder since both will keep you out of the Celestial Kingdom."

This comes from a man who is very accomplished in his field, and is well-regarded by his community.

Where in the world is he getting this mindset from, and is there anything in place within the Mormon church to set this kind of thinking straight?

- Doc

Some one should note to the uncle:
As will being an insufferable, judgemental prig.

[_cwald]

I've had little to no contact from family the last two years.

PS....shame on you BC.