The 2013 Sampson Avard Golden Scepter Award

[_Doctor Scratch]

My dear friends and colleagues: the October season is always a time of change and reflection. The leaves change colors; school is back in session; and the temperatures begin to shift--a chill sneaks into the air. Autumn is also the time of year during which I, as the B.H. Roberts Chair of Mopologetic Studies at Cassius University, have been charged with announcing the annual recipient of the highly prestigious Sampson Avard Golden Scepter Award. As many of you know, Dean Robbers established the Golden Scepter as a means of honoring someone--virtually always a TBM--"whose role in the course and/or study of Mopologetics has had an enormous and undeniable impact on the field." Last year, if you will recall, we took the unprecedented step of awarding the Golden Scepter to two highly deserving individuals. Well, the Year of Our Lord 2013 represents an unprecendented event--a watershed moment, if you will--as well.

Indeed, this year's recipient is not a TBM, but a Mopologists, and one of the most well-established Mopologists of all time. Because we normally prefer to praise the contributions of "lay-persons" with the Golden Scepter, there was a good deal of disagreement over whether or not to give the 2013 award to such a notable Mopologists, but in the end, we decided that his contributions were simply too powerful to ignore.

More than any person in the entire history of Mopologetic Studies, this noteworthy individual helped to drive home the point that Mopologetic writing is not "serious scholarship," and that, indeed, even the LDS Church's flagship university, BYU, considers FARMS and Mormon Interpreter "unscholarly." This individual created quite a buzz early in 2013 after he abruptly terminated his affiliation with the fledgling "journal," MI, citing "relentless torrent of abuse from anti-Mormons and apostates" and getting called "an apologetic hack instead of a real scholar" by someone he thought was his "friend" as reasons for abandoning ship.

I'm speaking, of course, of....

William Hamblin!

Please join me in a hearty round of applause celebrating Prof. Hamblin's important contribution to the field of Mopologetic studies. Without him, we might never have gotten a formal admission from the Mopologists themselves that, in fact, what they do is not "serious scholarship." We owe him an enormous debt of gratitude.

[_DrW]

Dr. Scratch,

Any chance that the honoree will be favoring those here assembled with a short speech acknowledging this high honor and expressing his gratitude to the conclave?

[_Doctor Scratch]

Dr. Scratch,

Any chance that the honoree will be favoring those here assembled with a short speech acknowledging this high honor and expressing his gratitude to the conclave?

I can assure you that nothing would please me more. Hopefully Prof. Hamblin is reading this, or someone on Skinny-L will let him know about this great honor.

[_Bob Loblaw]

Does the award include getting him a decent haircut?

[_SteelHead]

gak...............

Scratch once again wins the internet for the day.

[_Gadianton]

a great honor.

tears of joy.

[_cwald]

-applause-

[_sock puppet]

Hambones for everyone!

He's a Ham for all Seasons.

[_Grebdo]

Well Butt me in the Head! I'd never have guessed it.

[_Everybody Wang Chung]

Bill Hamblin,

Congratulations are in order! You've certainly come a long way since your "Metcalf is a Butthead" days.

I'm sure I speak for many when I say that your humility and your kind demeanor in dealing with people (on and offline) has left many people with a great impression of the Church.

Also, the professional and gracious way in which you've treated Gerald Bradford and BYU this last year has been impressive and Christlike.

I for one, can't wait to see what your next destructive move on the Church will be.

Again, congrats!