Yes, once again Mormonism's love/hate relationship with porn comes to the surface....but this time there's a twist to the tale....
Dear Angela,
I was engaged to be married last week, and now I’m not. My former fiancé and I decided to have an open conversation with each other where we talked about our past relationships, our finances and any other issues we felt were important to bring up.
I confided in him that I had a problem with a pornography addiction. Before I could really even talk about it, he cut me off and said, “I was terrified that you would say that. This is an absolute deal breaker for me.” I was really hurt by that comment, because it was a past trial, and I was sharing this information with him because I trusted him and didn’t want to keep secrets. But before I could say anything, he just got up and left. Later that night, I received an email from him saying that the wedding was off and that I should begin telling my family that he and I were no longer together. He promised he wouldn’t share the reasons why with anyone, but he wished me luck in my future life and I haven’t heard from him since.
There’s more to the story, of course, but those are the nuts and bolts. I’m devastated. Maybe I made the wrong choice by opening up about my past like that. What do you think? I haven’t told my family yet in hopes that he will calm down and we can talk. Do you think there’s any way he just needs time? Or to you, does it sound like it’s over? What do I do from here?
...that's right, this time the porn addict is a Mormon woman!
That said, with the Book of Mormon, we are not dealing with a civilization with no written record. What we are dealing with is a written record with no civilization. (Runtu, Feb 2015)
And Angela replies that the guy was in the wrong. She basically calls him out as a bit of a jerk:
Yes, addiction to pornography is a serious issue, but he doesn’t seem to care for you in a way where he’s willing to even try to work through something difficult. After all, he didn’t say, “Hey this is serious, let’s date a little bit longer and postpone the wedding.” Or “Hey I need to digest this and let’s talk later.” No, he said “deal breaker” and goodbye without even hearing you out. Not cool.
As sad and as devastated as you feel now, what you did took courage. Admitting to past mistakes and struggles, especially one as sensitive and uncomfortable as this one, is not easy, but it shows a desire to be one with your future spouse. There is a man out there who will appreciate that and love you even more for it.
Your past does not make you a bad person, and it certainly doesn’t make you un-marry-able.
I've seen quite a few posts from "Angela" and she tends to be fairly open minded. I remember one a few months back where someone wrote in complaining about the women at church wearing short skirts, distracting his teenage sons. She told him to get a grip, stop judging and to teach his boys to not be leches.
Yes. If my Lesbian lover was caught masturbating to the sexyhot couple fornicating then, yes, I would feel like it's a deal breaker.
Especially since we're planning to protest at the Temple Square for priesthood rights.
C'mon, man.
V/R Doc
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.
Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
Some Woman Supposedly Wrote wrote: I confided in him that I had a problem with a pornography addiction.
I highly doubt she was "addicted" to porn. She probably looked it occasionally, just like 99% of adults/LDS with a healthy curiosity of sex.
I wish the LDS Church would please tell its members what the difference is between looking at porn and being addicted to porn. One is normal, the other is EXTREMELY rare.
Many LDS diagnose themselves as porn addicts after reading or listening to LDS leadership on the subject. It's destructive and sad that there are so many self diagnosed porn addicts in the Church.
"I'm on paid sabbatical from BYU in exchange for my promise to use this time to finish two books."
Oh for shame, how the mortals put the blame on us gods, for they say evils come from us, but it is they, rather, who by their own recklessness win sorrow beyond what is given... Zeus (1178 BC)
Some Woman Supposedly Wrote wrote: I confided in him that I had a problem with a pornography addiction.
I highly doubt she was "addicted" to porn. She probably looked it occasionally, just like 99% of adults/LDS with a healthy curiosity of sex.
I wish the LDS Church would please tell its members what the difference is between looking at porn and being addicted to porn. One is normal, the other is EXTREMELY rare.
Many LDS diagnose themselves as porn addicts after reading or listening to LDS leadership on the subject. It's destructive and sad that there are so many self diagnosed porn addicts in the Church.
Agreed. And, even if she WAS actually addicted to porn, as "Angela" pointed out, it was a past trial. It was obviously something that she wasn't even having problems with anymore.
It sounds to me like he is a jerk who just wasn't really ready to get married, and was looking for an excuse to call it off.
As much as the girl is probably hurting now, "Angela" is right. She is better off finding out about this now rather than marrying this SOB and actually having children with him.
She deserves someone who is actually decent and can love her for who she is. She also deserves someone who is mature enough to handle adult situations. This guy sounds like a child in an adult body throwing a temper tantrum.
So you're chasing around a fly and in your world, I'm the idiot?
"Friends don't let friends be Mormon." Sock Puppet, MDB.
Music is my drug of choice.
"And that is precisely why none of us apologize for holding it to the celestial standard it pretends that it possesses." Kerry, MDB _________________
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden ~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
Some Woman Supposedly Wrote wrote: I confided in him that I had a problem with a pornography addiction.
I highly doubt she was "addicted" to porn. She probably looked it occasionally, just like 99% of adults/LDS with a healthy curiosity of sex.
I wish the LDS Church would please tell its members what the difference is between looking at porn and being addicted to porn. One is normal, the other is EXTREMELY rare.
Many LDS diagnose themselves as porn addicts after reading or listening to LDS leadership on the subject. It's destructive and sad that there are so many self diagnosed porn addicts in the Church.
You don't suppose she was engaged to that control freak that Elder Bednar praised for dumping his fiance for having more than one piercing in her ear.
Fiannan wrote: You don't suppose she was engaged to that control freak that Elder Bednar praised for dumping his fiance for having more than one piercing in her ear.
It was either him or BC Space.
"We have taken up arms in defense of our liberty, our property, our wives, and our children; we are determined to preserve them, or die." - Captain Moroni - 'Address to the Inhabitants of Canada' 1775
Fiannan wrote: You don't suppose she was engaged to that control freak that Elder Bednar praised for dumping his fiance for having more than one piercing in her ear.
It was either him or BC Space.
So you're chasing around a fly and in your world, I'm the idiot?
"Friends don't let friends be Mormon." Sock Puppet, MDB.
Music is my drug of choice.
"And that is precisely why none of us apologize for holding it to the celestial standard it pretends that it possesses." Kerry, MDB _________________
