The 2014 Sampson Avard Golden Scepter Award

[_Doctor Scratch]

My dear friends and colleagues:

Once again, it's time to announce this year's very, very prestigious Sampson Avard Golden Scepter Award. It seems to me that this time of year always brings with it the special cooling breezes of autumn. One can hear them whispering through the newly bare tree limbs like the susurrus of the Holy Ghost him/herself, or like the breezy gossip that runs as lifeblood all along the Wasatch Front. As B.H. Roberts Chair of Mopologetic Studies at Cassius University, I have been given the honor of announcing the award each year. And as I have noted in the past, the Golden Scepter is a special sort of recognition, established by Dean Robbers--it honors someone, nearly always a TBM, "whose role in the course and/or study of Mopologetics has had an enormous and undeniable impact on the field." This year, the recipient of the Golden Scepter brought us special insights into the extreme anger levels of Mopologetic leadership. Indeed, this past summer, we heard something akin to those autumn breezes I mentioned, albeit amplified to gust-level strength:

You're a coward. You're all cowards.

You go to hell!

With these two simple, straightforward, unadorned utterances, we were given somewhat rare and clear, unfettered access into the mindset of the apologists. The incident, as we all know, was reportedly widely and was the source of some controversy following the summer FAIR Conference. None of this would have happened, though--and we never would have been able to so clearly read the tea leaves--if it hadn't been for this year's award-winner. Please join me in a hearty round of applause for...

Blair Hodges!

A true stalwart, a scholar, and a gentleman. I don't think that any past or future Golden Scepter Award winner will ever surpass this year's recipient. We all owe Hodges an impossible-to-pay debt of gratitude for his incomparable contributions to the field of Mopologetic Studies.

[_Tator]

Bravo, excellent choice Dr. but what's with the facial hair?

[_Kishkumen]

Blair Hodges is a good egg. His mistake was in thinking that there was anything to be gained by interacting with certain apologists. He compounded his error by imagining that there could be legal ramifications to the Mopologists' representation of the event. It is funny how conflicts surrounding Mopologetics frequently end with someone threatening to sue someone else.

Oddly enough, a friend at BYU recently informed me that there is a rumor floating around that institution that a senior Mopologist called Cassius University to report on me. Indeed, the Mopologist offered my chairman time-stamped posts in order to prove that I was using university resources to post on this board. And, wouldn't you know it, my friend, who was understandably outraged by the senior Mopologist's behavior, asked if I would sue the Mopologist.

Again, fascinating how it goes there so readily.

[_moksha]

... but what's with the facial hair?

It migrated.

[_Tator]

... but what's with the facial hair?

It migrated.

You mean like gravity works?

[_sock puppet]

Too bad the portrait picture does not include lower regions that would show the pants bulging from Hodges' large cajones, those that it took to call DCP a coward and tell him to go to hell--and fetch him this prestigious award!

[_Dr. Shades]

Too bad the portrait picture does not include lower regions that would show the pants bulging from Hodges' large cajones, those that it took to call DCP a coward and tell him to go to hell--and fetch him this prestigious award!

I thought it was DCP who told Hodges to go to Hell, not the other way around.

[_sock puppet]

Too bad the portrait picture does not include lower regions that would show the pants bulging from Hodges' large cajones, those that it took to call DCP a coward and tell him to go to hell--and fetch him this prestigious award!

I thought it was DCP who told Hodges to go to Hell, not the other way around.

Ah, yes. DCP told Hodges to go to hell. Hodges called DCP a coward. The dispute was over which one of them made his statement to the other first.

[_Everybody Wang Chung]

Congratulations to Blair!

He certainly deserved some kind of award after having the courage to tell DCP what BYU, Gerald Bradford and most respected LDS scholars have wanted to tell DCP for a long time.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

I'm still befuddled by Mr. Peterson. He had no discernible academic value to BYU, and his apologetics were a complete and utter waste of tithe payer monies. Most importantly, he most likely drove more people away from the Mormon church than to it through his crass online persona. That had to be a net loss to the church's revenue stream. I just don't understand why they kept him around for so long.

V/R
Doc