Another victim of Mormonism: The fairytale wedding

[_just me]

Yeah, the trauma of the initiatory and endowment rituals are a whole topic on their own. The fact that for many they are part and parcel with their wedding just magnifies it.

My sister was in tears after her endowment. What's interesting is that she thought she knew what was going to happen because someone had explained the clothing. What a shock she had!

[_Everybody Wang Chung]

Yeah, the trauma of the initiatory and endowment rituals are a whole topic on their own. The fact that for many they are part and parcel with their wedding just magnifies it.

My sister was in tears after her endowment. What's interesting is that she thought she knew what was going to happen because someone had explained the clothing. What a shock she had!

Sorry about your sister's experience. Unfortunately, this is an all too common experience in the Church.

Mak, the young apologist, is either extremely naïve or being disingenuous when he tries to discount these types of negative experiences. They happen all the time, and in my experience, disproportionately in the LDS Church.

[_just me]

Yeah, the trauma of the initiatory and endowment rituals are a whole topic on their own. The fact that for many they are part and parcel with their wedding just magnifies it.

My sister was in tears after her endowment. What's interesting is that she thought she knew what was going to happen because someone had explained the clothing. What a shock she had!

Sorry about your sister's experience. Unfortunately, this is an all too common experience in the Church.

Mak, the young apologist, is either extremely naïve or being disingenuous when he tries to discount these types of negative experiences. They happen all the time, and in my experience, disproportionately in the LDS Church.

It is more common than anyone is willing to admit. And there is absolutely no reason to maintain the secrecy of the temple rituals. Members have a right to know and understand exactly what the rituals consist of and look like.

My hightened anxiety was really the only thing I contended with. I was able to make the actual experiences okay in my mind. However, my second time through an endowment session caused me so much anxiety at the veil (veil worker seemed put out that she had to feed me my lines) that I had to force my to return. It took well over a year before I stopped feeling that degree of anxiety. I will say that temple attendance always made me feel a bit nervous, though. Worry about remembering what to do, not having to use the bathroom during the session and fear of coughing fits are all things I dealt with in relation to temple attendance. Pregnancy and babies made these concerns worse.

So, to attend the temple always meant dealing with anxiety and not attending meant feeling a degree of guilt.

A convert friend admitted to me once that it took several members hours to convince her of garment wearing. She thought it was the most absurd thing she'd ever heard of. It certainly was not something she naturally embraced. Of course, had she not embraced garments she would not have been allowed to marry her husband in the temple.

I know a couple who went through and were sealed only to never return. The reason they cited was that the temple was too bizarre.

These stories are seldom shared among members. Members are very busy convincing themselves and each other that the temple is the most wondrous, beautiful, spiritual experience of anyone's life.

No wonder my sister was shocked to tears!

[_maklelan]

Sorry about your sister's experience. Unfortunately, this is an all too common experience in the Church.

Mak, the young apologist, is either extremely naïve or being disingenuous when he tries to discount these types of negative experiences. They happen all the time, and in my experience, disproportionately in the LDS Church.

Where have I ever tried to discount these types of negative experiences? I'd like direct links to the posts, please.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

It is more common than anyone is willing to admit. And there is absolutely no reason to maintain the secrecy of the temple rituals. Members have a right to know and understand exactly what the rituals consist of and look like.

My hightened anxiety was really the only thing I contended with. I was able to make the actual experiences okay in my mind. However, my second time through an endowment session caused me so much anxiety at the veil (veil worker seemed put out that she had to feed me my lines) that I had to force my to return. It took well over a year before I stopped feeling that degree of anxiety.

The best course of action for the church would be to thoroughly inoculate soon-to-be temple goers. If they can convince pre-temple types on the symbolism and relevancy of the whole thing it might help. The secrecy that surrounds the process really prevents that from happening, though. Of course, imho, the secrecy is borne more out of embarrassment than holy reverence.

Anyway, it's interesting how you could get to that point. I never could, and really didn't like going to the temple. It got to the point where I simply just didn't go.. The whole experience, even after they watered it down a bit, just never felt uplifting to me. I honestly felt foolish every time I put those clothes on.. Blegh.

Going back to the wedding piece... Having to go through the endowment process for the wedding ceremony really detracted from the experience. I know I would've felt much more uplifted during a traditional wedding. To have everyone in those silly get ups while my wife and I knelt across an altar, in silly get ups, just terminated any good feelings associated with the ceremony. What a shame...

- Doc

[_Everybody Wang Chung]

Sorry about your sister's experience. Unfortunately, this is an all too common experience in the Church.

Mak, the young apologist, is either extremely naïve or being disingenuous when he tries to discount these types of negative experiences. They happen all the time, and in my experience, disproportionately in the LDS Church.

Where have I ever tried to discount these types of negative experiences? I'd like direct links to the posts, please.

My apologies, Mak. I must have been completely mistaken. I thought you were discounting Sanctorian's personal experience with LDS weddings when you said:

And reality kills that fantasy 999 times out of 100. Mormonism isn't to blame for that particular problem.

[_Maureen]

...These stories are seldom shared among members. Members are very busy convincing themselves and each other that the temple is the most wondrous, beautiful, spiritual experience of anyone's life.

No wonder my sister was shocked to tears!

At FMH one of the bloggers started a blog where people can share their uncomfortable feelings about the temple.

http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org ... d-stories/

M.

[_Maureen]

M wife works in the temple, specifically with weddings. She says that almost all of them are in church dress street clothes (except bride and groom) and that special arrangements have to be made if those planning the wedding want everyone to be in white temple clothes. She has been told this is simply to cut down on the amount of laundry that has to be done for rental temple clothing.

for what it's worth

That sounds about right. The bride is given a choice. That was my point.

What should guests wear?
Those attending the temple sealing should wear clothes that would be appropriate for church, such as a modest dress or skirt and blouse for women, and a suit (not a tuxedo) or white shirt and slacks for men.

http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/Mormon/weddings/

M.

[_ludwigm]

M wife works in the temple, specifically with weddings. She says that almost all of them are in church dress street clothes (except bride and groom) and that special arrangements have to be made if those planning the wedding want everyone to be in white temple clothes. She has been told this is simply to cut down on the amount of laundry that has to be done for rental temple clothing.

for what it's worth

That sounds about right. The bride is given a choice. That was my point.

What should guests wear?
Those attending the temple sealing should wear clothes that would be appropriate for church, such as a modest dress or skirt and blouse for women, and a suit (not a tuxedo) or white shirt and slacks for men.

http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/Mormon/weddings/

M.

I took part on most of my family members marriage, baptizing, and a lot of other religious ceremony, - in many type of temples - even I am an atheist and that members concerned know it.

That temples are very different than the Mormon ones.

The main difference is that they are open for everybody, don't use bar coded entry card (periodically renewed...), don't ask the ingressive why he/she wants to entry.
They don't prescribe and don't check the clothing and the behaviour (excluding some really outrageous case).

Less important difference is nobody should pay 10% of incoming to step in...