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Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:04 am
by _Polygamy-Porter
In other parts of the world humans are being slaughtered in the name of another god.
What top story is headlined by the newspaper which is owned by Jesus's corporation?
A stupid story about praying more and better.
Linda & Richard Eyre: New Year’s resolution No. 2: Pray more, pray better
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:11 am
by _Polygamy-Porter
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:27 am
by _Chap
I don't know why you are mocking this great initiative.
Everybody knows that unless we regularly tell God that he needs to do something about (say) children being raped and murdered, he will have no idea that it is happening, or that he ought to use his omnipotence to put a stop to it.
I mean, he is a busy guy, right?
It also helps him do his job if we also tell him at regular intervals how absolutely blooming super-marvellous he is. He needs the reassurance, and really appreciates it.
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 11:58 am
by _Bazooka
4. Practice partnership prayer. If you are married, pray together out loud. Instead of only one speaking and the other only listening, you might make your partnership prayer like a meeting, where both can speak (thank or ask) within the same prayer.
Perhaps one could start the prayer and squeeze the other’s hand when finished; then the other could pray aloud and squeeze, back and forth. When the squeezes stop, the one who did not start the prayer could end it.
The bottom line is, there are many ways to improve ourselves and strengthen our marriages and families. Perhaps better prayer is the best way to do both.
Holy crap.
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 3:06 pm
by _malkie
Bazooka wrote:4. Practice partnership prayer. If you are married, pray together out loud. Instead of only one speaking and the other only listening, you might make your partnership prayer like a meeting, where both can speak (thank or ask) within the same prayer.
Perhaps one could start the prayer and squeeze the other’s hand when finished; then the other could pray aloud and squeeze, back and forth. When the squeezes stop, the one who did not start the prayer could end it.
The bottom line is, there are many ways to improve ourselves and strengthen our marriages and families. Perhaps better prayer is the best way to do both.
Holy crap.
What diety is not gonna love tag-team prayers, right?
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 3:59 pm
by _Polygamy-Porter
Bazooka wrote:4. Practice partnership prayer. If you are married, pray together out loud. Instead of only one speaking and the other only listening, you might make your partnership prayer like a meeting, where both can speak (thank or ask) within the same prayer.
Perhaps one could start the prayer and squeeze the other’s hand when finished; then the other could pray aloud and squeeze, back and forth. When the squeezes stop, the one who did not start the prayer could end it.
The bottom line is, there are many ways to improve ourselves and strengthen our marriages and families. Perhaps better prayer is the best way to do both.
Holy crap.
Having loud sex and at random times each of you yelling out OH GOD oh GOD OH MY GOD!!
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 4:13 pm
by _Fence Sitter
A TBM friend of my wife is going through a difficult divorce. Recently she mentioned that she had placed her name on the prayer roll at 60+ different temples by calling all those temples. Frankly I don't get the reasoning where God is supposed to react differently depending on the number of people asking for the same thing? When I tried to get both my wife and her friend to explain how placing the same name on multiple rolls was more effective than just on a single roll the response was "you just don't get it". I even asked if that was true why didn't the church place all the names on all the rolls?
It appears that the Mormon God favors those with good telephone access to a large amount of temples.
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:25 pm
by _son of Ishmael
Fence Sitter wrote:A TBM friend of my wife is going through a difficult divorce. Recently she mentioned that she had placed her name on the prayer roll at 60+ different temples by calling all those temples. Frankly I don't get the reasoning where God is supposed to react differently depending on the number of people asking for the same thing? When I tried to get both my wife and her friend to explain how placing the same name on multiple rolls was more effective than just on a single roll the response was "you just don't get it". I even asked if that was true why didn't the church place all the names on all the rolls?
It appears that the Mormon God favors those with good telephone access to a large amount of temples.
This is just another example of how the Mormon God is a dick.
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:02 pm
by _cinepro
Polygamy-Porter wrote:In other parts of the world humans are being slaughtered in the name of another god.
What top story is headlined by the newspaper which is owned by Jesus's corporation?
What are you talking about? That story is a column in the "Faith" section of the newspaper, and at the time I checked (11:57am 1/14/2015), it was listed seventh in the list of "Other Headlines" towards the bottom of the page among all the other columns and incidental stories. It didn't appear anywhere on the DN main page. And there is a Charlie Hebdo related story headlined above it in that list.
http://www.deseretnews.com/homeSo for those who are wondering what the answer to the question is, these are the top stories "headlined" by the DN at this time:
Top Stories
-Jon Huntsman Jr. disagrees with his dad, calls Sen. Mike Lee 'impressive'
-West Valley officer shoots, kills man wielding a knife Wednesday morning
-Chaffetz says Mitt 'making it clear, here he comes' for third run for president
-Don't want materialistic children? Avoid these parenting tactics
-Local flavor in the NBA: Opportunity for Fredette, Davies finds a new home
-Recent storms bring some Utah resorts 'record-breaking' ski seasons
Sponsored: Trivia, and 3 compelling reasons to visit St. George this winter
Re: Desnews top story? Pray MORE and pray better. DUH?
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:06 pm
by _Brackite
cinepro wrote:Polygamy-Porter wrote:In other parts of the world humans are being slaughtered in the name of another god.
What top story is headlined by the newspaper which is owned by Jesus's corporation?
What are you talking about? That story is a column in the "Faith" section of the newspaper, and at the time I checked (11:57am 1/14/2015), it was listed seventh in the list of "Other Headlines" towards the bottom of the page among all the other columns and incidental stories. It didn't appear anywhere on the DN main page. And there is a Charlie Hebdo related story headlined above it in that list.
http://www.deseretnews.com/homeSo for those who are wondering what the answer to the question is, these are the top stories "headlined" by the DN at this time:
Top Stories
-Jon Huntsman Jr. disagrees with his dad, calls Sen. Mike Lee 'impressive'
-West Valley officer shoots, kills man wielding a knife Wednesday morning
-Chaffetz says Mitt 'making it clear, here he comes' for third run for president
-Don't want materialistic children? Avoid these parenting tactics
-Local flavor in the NBA: Opportunity for Fredette, Davies finds a new home
-Recent storms bring some Utah resorts 'record-breaking' ski seasons
Sponsored: Trivia, and 3 compelling reasons to visit St. George this winter
Thanks, Cinepro!!