The Mormons Can't Dance
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2016 9:59 pm
This is from J. H. Martineau in 1897, but it should be read in the voice of Terryl Givens.
Not long after the settlement of Parowan, Walker came with his band one Sunday about meeting time and was invited with Ammon to the stand. He spoke a while in Utah dialect which Ammon, his brother, interpreted, but at the close he made a very strange request, almost as a command. He said he had heard the Mormons could dance very well, and he wanted to see it. And as he was going away soon he wanted the congregation to go outside and dance for his men, and to go at once.
As it was thought best to humor him, the meeting soon closed and all went outside, selected a level place on the sandy ground, and danced several cotillions. It was a hot summer day, the ground was very dusty, clouds of dust arose, which, as it settled on perspiring faces and hands, was anything but ornamental. As Walker and his men did not seem much impressed, our dancers redoubled their agility and displayed their best steps. Suddenly Walker stopped it; said we were like papooses and did not know how to dance, and that those who had told him the Mormons could do so had lied. He would show us how to dance.
As we stepped to one side crestfallen and disgraced, about sixty warriors formed a perfectly accurate circle, facing inwards, and a couple of old men began clapping their hands and singing "A-yah! a-yah! a-yah! a-yah!" in a monotonous chant in which all the dancers joined, singing and stepping with the most perfect union. At first they circled slowly to the left for a few minutes; then at a given signal all circled in the other direction, changing thus time after time for about half an hour; and all without the slightest jar or break in the time. Having ceased he said to us, "don't dance like little children any more; you have seen how men dance; learn to dance like Utahs and then you will not be ashamed." In truth we were filled with amazement at the perfection of movement and time in their dancing. It seemed the movement of a machine rather than that of sixty separate individuals, with a perfect unity of motion which I have never seen equalled.