From a lurker

[_Xenophon]

Dear MDB,
From the shadows, I have been following this board for roughly 3 years now. I found it as my wife and I were discovering some of the sordid histories of the church and began our journey out.

I never really felt like I had much more to share than what was already brought up. So many wonderful posters here are able to communicate my frustrations, fears and pain in leaving the church much better than I could ever hope to. I have learned so much from the discussions brought up here and this helped make my transition out that much easier.

After this long, I just wanted to provide my thanks to ALL the posters on this board (even the contentious members stir conversation). For your rousing discussions, excellent sources, amazing content, and many laughs I am in your debt.

I'm not sure how many lurkers their are on this board (I suspect many) but know that your contributions on this board are appreciated by them. Your discussions have helped them through a difficult times, even if they aren't participating.

Pardon any formatting or message posting errors, us lurkers don't have much practice.

[_Tator]

Xenophon, I'm glad you are here but please consider posting more you may surprise us and especially yourself how much you have to offer.

Thanx

[_Xenophon]

Xenophon, I'm glad you are here but please consider posting more you may surprise us and especially yourself how much you have to offer.

Thanx

Well, I did complete step 1 and 2 by registering and making the first post (baby steps). I mainly just wanted to kick-off my posting with a thank you to all those that actually contribute. I've appreciated your humor long enough, Tator, you deserve the praise.

[_Dr. Shades]

You're certainly welcome. To dip your toes in a little further, would you mind sharing your "church history" with us?

[_Quasimodo]

Welcome, Xenophon!

It's great to see a lurker step out from the shadows. I think a lot of the conversations that go on here are primarily for lurkers. We often recycle topics, but I always think that there must be more than a few just reading along that haven't heard these discussions and would like or need to.

As Shades said, come and dip your toes. The water is fine.

[_Xenophon]

You're certainly welcome. To dip your toes in a little further, would you mind sharing your "church history" with us?

Certainly,

I was raised Episcopalian but at the ripe young age of 19 I met the most beautiful and charming woman I had ever seen (just in case she reads this ). After a bit of dating I would learn that the woman that would become my wife was dyed in the wool TBM. Not knowing much about Mormonism, I agreed to take the discussions. At first I was enthralled by the Book of Mormon, Eternal Families and the Plan of Salvation. Before long I was ready for baptism. Then after my first year it was off to the temple for us.

It was all down hill form there, between me and the church. Being in a small branch, I was quickly thrust into the leadership roles that I felt woefully unprepared for. Feeling that I need to up my game, I tripled down on my efforts to study not only the scriptures, but also to brush up on all the history I had missed as a new member. As I am sure is true for many of you, these studies just left me with more questions.

As I dove deeper and deeper into the history, I began to realize I couldn't reconcile my beliefs with the facts. My wife and I stayed on for several years after this, choosing to just go along with the good things the church offered us. About this time (3 or so years ago) I began finding this and other message boards to read. I didn't feel like I had much to offer, but I greatly enjoyed watching the various personalities of this board discuss and grow together.

My wife was content (and I was willing to tag along) to attend church occasionally on Sunday, participate in the volunteer work or work with the young children until the the most recent rules against the children with homosexual parents. We resigned that week and have been enjoying the new path ever since.

I apologize for the wall of text, I might have gotten a bit carried away.

[_Xenophon]

Welcome, Xenophon!

It's great to see a lurker step out from the shadows. I think a lot of the conversations that go on here are primarily for lurkers. We often recycle topics, but I always think that there must be more than a few just reading along that haven't heard these discussions and would like or need to.

As Shades said, come and dip your toes. The water is fine.

Thanks, Quasi!

I must admit, you are one of my favorite persons on this board. Your avatar gif alone is enough to put a smile on my face.

[_Blixa]

Not a wall of text: you know how to use paragraphs.

Thanks for your story. I think the tipping point you and your wife reached is pretty interesting as you are very much not alone. The fallout of that decision, and the way it was handled, will continue to play out. It's very interesting for people who had earlier experiences in the church to watch.

[_Xenophon]

Not a wall of text: you know how to use paragraphs.

Thanks for your story. I think the tipping point you and your wife reached is pretty interesting as you are very much not alone. The fallout of that decision, and the way it was handled, will continue to play out. It's very interesting for people who had earlier experiences in the church to watch.

Honestly, I really didn't need the rule to push me over, I was already there. For me it more boiled down to the idea that if the church makes some particular claims to truth, and those don't add up, then the whole thing has to be bogus. But yes, I do think that decision will continue to play out quite negatively, driving what would otherwise be good, tithe paying members away.

As to the paragraphs, you can only watch Shades berate people about their use of the enter key for so long before you learn, even as a non-participant

[_sock puppet]

As I dove deeper and deeper into the history, I began to realize I couldn't reconcile my beliefs with the facts.

Hey, Xenophon, glad you poked your head up. After lurking for a few years, I poked mine up in Nov 2009. I planned to submerse myself back to lurking, but with another registration I once had, I'm now in excess of 18000 posts. Plan to go back to lurking didn't pan out for me.

Anyway, which specific points of history were problematic for you?