The Post that MD&D Locked Down...as Too Personal

[_Craig Paxton]

Last night my wife and I attended a local stake presentation of the LDS musical drama “Savior of the World”. This is the second time that I have seen this musical drama based on the life and resurrection of Jesus Christ as viewed through the eyes of the LDS Church. I say LDS church because included in the play were selective vignettes of Book of Mormon prophets who one wouldn’t normally expect to find in a typical Christian drama on the life of Christ.

The first time that I saw the play was about 10-12 years ago when it was first produced by the church and performed in the little theater in the Conference Center. At the time I was just entering my faith crises. Reflecting back on my initial reaction to the play then and how I received it last night is a journey into my faith crisis.
For those unfamiliar with the show, it is a musical drama on the birth and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It has beautifully scored music that remains with you well after the show has ended. Despite the years of absence since my last viewing the music was immediately familiar and welcoming. The story follows the Biblical story of Jesus but focuses on the events that proceeded his birth such as the story of Zacharias and Elizabeth and their desire for a son, his being made deaf and dumb by the Angel Gabriel, Mary being inform of her role in the coming birth of Jesus and of Joseph’s initial reaction but then acceptance of Mary’s pregnancy after being visited by Gabriel in a dream and their subsequent marriage and the eventual birth of Jesus. Each character sharing their story in song.

I remember the feelings that accompanied my first viewing, feeling of want and searching for truth. A desire for it all to be true, that this man Jesus actually had lived and died for me. Following that first viewing, I had even bought the musical CD and would listen to the music, particularly the song Come, Lord Jesus, which was and still remains my favorite song from the show. Last night was a tender reminder of the feeling I felt during that initial viewing.

A lot of water has flowed under that faith crisis bridge in the years since. Many of my questions have been answered and not necessarily in the manner that I had hoped. My views of both the LDS church and how I view Jesus have also changed, but in this process I’ve also come to understand that many of my initial conclusions were too harsh and that many of the difficulties did have alternative explanations where faith could remain intact…but for me I've yet to find any of these alternative apologetic answers satisfying.
So there I was last night, a decade removed and what seemed like a lifetime of change in how I viewed the world. The musical still rendered tender emotional feelings and the music remained beautiful and inspiring. The actors, though amateurs, were well rehearsed and gifted in their musical and acting abilities. It would have been so easy for me to just give in and embrace the moment. But instead I felt I was being manipulated.

The table had been beautifully set for a dramatic spiritual climax, a spiritual experience which was being evidenced all around me by many in the audience wiping tears from their eyes when a very tastefully reenacted portrayal of the risen Christ appears in white shroud to Mary Magdalene in front the open tomb, His deep yet heavenly voice asking, “Woman, why weepiest though” was both dramatic and touching. This beautifully executed moment was followed with Jesus visiting the 12 and others…the show culminating on a dramatic high with the entire 100 member plus cast singing the stirring encore song, Come Lord Jesus, as all watched the resurrected Jesus being taken into heaven. It was a beautifully executed spiritual moment.

I would wager a guess that all 200+ audiences members had been moved to tears or felt a burning in their bosom with the exception of one person, me. As the lights came up following a standing ovation, I could see that the audience had clearly been moved. Everyone seem so happy and please and I suspected that the show had achieved its intended mission of spiritually feeding those in attendance and building upon their love and appreciation for the sacrifice of their Savior Jesus Christ.

As I sat waiting for my wife, who was making the rounds with various friends and acquaintances, I sat quietly and reflected on the show and on why it had not had the same impact on me that I saw on the faces of other audience members. I know that I could have easily given in, I could have also succumbed to the spiritual triggers (and I don’t mean that disrespectfully, I am just at a loss of what else to call them) that had been written into the show and shed similar tears. But that was it…it was those triggers…I recognized them, I could see each and everyone of them as they were employed throughout the show and so I fought against them and their effect on me, a non-believing agnostic…and it was this recognition of those emotional touch stones (there that might be a less offensive term) that held me back from being equally moved. I don't fault the church nor the writers and producers of this show...it was beautiful and I'm sure achieved its intended purpose.

Had I gone into the play with my guard up, undoubtedly I did. I felt like a foreigner in a sea of believers. And yet on one level the production did affect me emotionally. It saddened me that I couldn’t allow myself to be emotionally moved by the play, in part because of the use of those touch stones, but also there remains a part of me that truly misses it but I also recognized that since my first viewing, something had died in me...and there remained a part of me that missed it. I loved the church and I loved those spiritual experiences. And while I don’t expect anyone to understand or agree with me, part of me is just wondering what my life would have been like had I not looked behind that curtain and sought answers to the difficult questions that had accumulated on my mental shelf.

After being up less than 10 minutes it was locked and closed down...with this warning: No personal threads, you have set yourself up to have your experience critiqued.  Threads need to be founded on discussable points that don't revolve around the poster




Fair Enough...while I didn't think that that was what I was doing...I see there point.

[_JLHPROF]

Perhaps it would have been more suitable in the Social Hall.
That is for personal experiences discussion.

General Discussions are for "For topics and discussions concerning LDS Doctrine, History, Geography".
As you said, you see their point so then I'm sure you agree with the decision to lock the thread.

[_candygal]

At least you got a reason. During the past 3 weeks I have been suspended for 3 days and banned from a thread. I have yet to understand.

I gave you a rep on your post before they shut it down. Beautifully written and I could totally identify with that feeling of loss.

Best to you..
Candygal (Jeanne)

[_Res Ipsa]

That's just sad, Craig -- both your experience and the reaction by the moderators. What is Mormonism based on if not on personal experience? The sharing of personal experience is, in my opinion, one of the significant benefits of religion. Take away the personal experience, and I think there is really nothing that separates religion from any other philosophy.

I've had similar experiences attending LDS function over the years (mostly funerals). I find myself a stranger in what I used to think of as a home. And I suspect that thinking about the "what if" is only natural.

[_candygal]

That's just sad, Craig -- both your experience and the reaction by the moderators. What is Mormonism based on if not on personal experience? The sharing of personal experience is, in my opinion, one of the significant benefits of religion. Take away the personal experience, and I think there is really nothing that separates religion from any other philosophy.

I've had similar experiences attending LDS function over the years (mostly funerals). I find myself a stranger in what I used to think of as a home. And I suspect that thinking about the "what if" is only natural.

I agree. I was living over there from my own personal experiences and feelings on many subjects..I was inferred as not having any substance to my posts.

[_Dr Exiled]

Craig, they don't like exit narratives. But you know that. They don't like questions about the tricky parts of Mormonism. You know that too. It literally offends tbm's if someone has legitimate questions or at least it offends Calm and her precious fire fighters. (I still think there was a p.r. motive to the Jesus picture in the truck) Everyone knows that. Anyway, keep giving them hell. Someone has to and even though they periodically shut you down or lock you out, they always let you back on. So keep it up and I will join you periodically, at least until they ban me yet again.