More abused Mormon women speak out

[_Maksutov]

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii ... #.usvRwJ07

In The Wake Of Rob Porter Allegations, Mormon Women Say Church Leaders Encouraged Them To Stay With Their Abusers

Nearly two dozen women told BuzzFeed News they went to Mormon church leaders after suffering abuse at home and were counseled to remain in their relationships. Some were warned their eternal salvation could be jeopardized if they left their violent partners.

[_Dr Exiled]

Amen. The next wave is upon us. How will president p.r. respond to this one?

[_Polygamy-Porter]

These women are fools to believe their stupid bishop is a professionally trained marriage counselor. Sadly, they are too brainwashed to even realize this. For Christsakes, bishops are called by GOD!

Mormon Jesus likely abused his own wife/wives. Why not? Brother Joseph did.

LDS Inc must step up their game and either only appoint people with professional training as counselors or ensure their ward leaders are required to attend training and be certified as professional counselors, or setup a structure and strictly enforce referrals to actual professionally trained counselors.

Mormon bishops are nothing more than great tithe payers who are typically full of themselves and in my opinion, have varying degrees of a misogynistic outlook.

One more reason my girls are not Mormon.

[Guest]

So, these Bishops emotionally coerce already-abused Mormon women to stay married to their abuser so that they can be together with their abuser for eternity? Have I got that right?

And these are the same Bishops who intentionally or unwittingly groom minors by holding one to one interviews with them where questions of a personally intrusive nature are asked.

And all this is what Jesus wants?

Jana Riess has written a relevant and thought provoking piece on this subject.
https://www.sltrib.com/religion/local/2 ... o-be-true/

“One summer, when she was interning at a federal agency, she had access to a counselor through her job. ‘When I explained to him what was happening, he had a very different reaction from the Mormon bishops,’” she said. ‘It was weirdly validating to hear that from somebody else.’ Speaking about the counselor, she said, ‘He was very concerned to hear Rob was choking me.’”

That last statement seems to suggest that her Mormon bishop also heard at some point that Holderness was being choked by her husband, and the bishop was not concerned about it.

Let’s pause on that for a moment: Not concerned that Porter was choking. His. Wife.

Has the Church come out and made a statement that these Bishops acted inappropriately in counselling these women to stay with their abusers? If not, why hasn’t it?

[_Meadowchik]

These women are fools to believe their stupid bishop is a professionally trained marriage counselor. Sadly, they are too brainwashed to even realize this. For Christsakes, bishops are called by GOD!

Mormon Jesus likely abused his own wife/wives. Why not? Brother Joseph did.

LDS Inc must step up their game and either only appoint people with professional training as counselors or ensure their ward leaders are required to attend training and be certified as professional counselors, or setup a structure and strictly enforce referrals to actual professionally trained counselors.

Mormon bishops are nothing more than great tithe payers who are typically full of themselves and in my opinion, have varying degrees of a misogynistic outlook.

One more reason my girls are not Mormon.

I really believed that my bishops had a special power, something that potentially could be far better any skills of the "natural man," which is entirely in line with church teachings.

So it's the system that produces situations like this, that promotes this kind of treatment, that perpetuates toxic relationships based on unearned and unmerited trust.

[_Meadowchik]

So, these Bishops emotionally coerce already-abused Mormon women to stay married to their abuser so that they can be together with their abuser for eternity? Have I got that right?

And these are the same Bishops who intentionally or unwittingly groom minors by holding one to one interviews with them where questions of a personally intrusive nature are asked.

And all this is what Jesus wants?

Jana Riess has written a relevant and thought provoking piece on this subject.
https://www.sltrib.com/religion/local/2 ... o-be-true/

“One summer, when she was interning at a federal agency, she had access to a counselor through her job. ‘When I explained to him what was happening, he had a very different reaction from the Mormon bishops,’” she said. ‘It was weirdly validating to hear that from somebody else.’ Speaking about the counselor, she said, ‘He was very concerned to hear Rob was choking me.’”

That last statement seems to suggest that her Mormon bishop also heard at some point that Holderness was being choked by her husband, and the bishop was not concerned about it.

Let’s pause on that for a moment: Not concerned that Porter was choking. His. Wife.

It's what the institution has evolved to require, because it has such feeble foundations.

If women could be an equal part of the inner circle, so much of the church would crumble or disappear in radical reform. As it stands, though, the church leadership is never, ever, ever, ever, accountable to women.

[_Ceeboo]

Some were warned their eternal salvation could be jeopardized if they left their violent partners.

Sickening!

[_Xenophon]

I really believed that my bishops had a special power, something that potentially could be far better any skills of the "natural man," which is entirely in line with church teachings.

So it's the system that produces situations like this, that promotes this kind of treatment, that perpetuates toxic relationships based on unearned and unmerited trust.

I think you hit on a big point here, one that is at the root to a lot of the authority problems within the Church and also what leads to that "get right with the Church(not God)" mentality being discussed on other threads.

As a personal anecdote my MIL falls into the same category of the victims described in the OP. I think it is often overlooked how difficult a position the abused are in these situations. Your church community, a group you might expect to be able to turn to in a time of crisis, is the very group that betrays you. Keeping mind that especially within the LDS community this group is even more important, with the general "us vs them" mentality.

She was told initially not to contact police, let the proper priesthood authority handle the situation. It was also heavily suggested that it would be violating her temple covenants to go behind the back of her husband and get him in trouble with the law.

Fast forward many years- several rounds of leadership roulette, continued abuse that was escalating and MIL had finally had enough. As she prepares to leave, the new stake president says he has no reason to believe that the abuse has been as bad or support her decision for separation because, get this, there are no police reports.

I get that these are not highly trained individuals and that there are bad apples among us all, but the belief (folk lore or doctrinal aside) that the priesthood grants some special insight into leading people breeds these kinds of situations. Where people that have no business proffering any advice other than "seek professional help" are trying to lead the discussion.

[_Maksutov]

Some were warned their eternal salvation could be jeopardized if they left their violent partners.

Sickening!

And consider that they're supposed to stay with that monster for eternity.

[_Xenophon]

And consider that they're supposed to stay with that monster for eternity.

That idea seems less horrifying if you believe in the next life all those sins and bad bits of you will be washed away. You wont be with a monster for eternity, just a former one.