General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

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_Shulem
_Emeritus
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _Shulem »

President Nelsatan wrote:Time is running out


1. Change your diaper?

2. Check the First Presidency stock portfolio?

3. Oaks is about to pass away?


Screw you, NelSatan! I'm going to celebrate on the day you die with singing and dancing.

:twisted:

Ding dong the old mans dead!

:lol:
_Gadianton
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _Gadianton »

what has families together forever ever meant?

if your entire family goes to the telestial kingdom, then you'll be there together forever, in a more real sense than in the celestial kingdom. The difference is you don't have a Malachi certified "welding link" that formally establishes you as a family. The largest barrier is if say, you made the celestial but your parents and siblings all went to the telestial. Then what do you do, since you aren't allowed to go down two steps to visit?

In the telestial kingdom you'll be immortal so you don't have to work to eat, so you can literally spend all day every day hanging out with the people you knew in mortality, including family, forever. As for the celestial kingdom let me ask this: how much time does God the Father spend with his mortal parents from his home planet and the kids that he grew up with? In between creating innumerable worlds each with billions of people on them?
Lou Midgley 08/20/2020: "...meat wad," and "cockroach" are pithy descriptions of human beings used by gemli? They were not fashioned by Professor Peterson.

LM 11/23/2018: one can explain away the soul of human beings...as...a Meat Unit, to use Professor Peterson's clever derogatory description of gemli's ideology.
_Mormonicious
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _Mormonicious »

And another announcement if you are in tune with the Borecast. No matter the number of Missionaries in the Field, 235,000 to 250,000 are the number of converts you get a year. So put your shoulder to the wheel and push the turd down the road with a heart full of song and a pocket empty of money.
Revelation 2:17 . . give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it. Thank Google GOD for her son eBay, you can now have life eternal with laser engraving. . oh, and a seer stone and save 10% of your life's earning as a bonus. See you in Mormon man god Heaven Bitches!!. Bring on the Virgins
_krose
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _krose »

Gadianton wrote:As for the celestial kingdom let me ask this: how much time does God the Father spend with his mortal parents from his home planet and the kids that he grew up with?

A very good question that I hadn’t thought about before.
"The DNA of fictional populations appears to be the most susceptible to extinction." - Simon Southerton
_Shulem
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _Shulem »

krose wrote:
Gadianton wrote:As for the celestial kingdom let me ask this: how much time does God the Father spend with his mortal parents from his home planet and the kids that he grew up with?

A very good question that I hadn’t thought about before.


A good question indeed. And how about Heavenly Father's grampa? How much time does he spend with him? You know he has a lot of great aunts and uncles that he needs to meet. How about great grampa?
_Holy Ghost
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _Holy Ghost »

Shulem wrote:It sucks to be a MORMON, a boring and no-fun religion where you pay 10% of your income and do what you're told to do. Looking back I don't know how I ever put up with that nonsense. What was I thinking? How could I have been so stupid?

Life is so much better outside the church. Life is free and wonderful without being tied down the rules of the cult.

I swear, I promise, I affirm: I will never, ever, so help me gawd, ever, go back to the church. No way.

For 10% of your income, I will be your life coach, tell you what to do, how to live a boring, no-fun life.
"There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge." Isaac Asimov
_DarkHelmet
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _DarkHelmet »

Lemmie wrote:So Mormons teach that families who are NOT Mormon will NOT be together forever.


Yeah, I've never understood that. If every member of the family ends up in one of the 2 lower kingdoms, they are together forever. The bottom kingdom is for the real bad guys, like Hitler, so most non-mormons will get slotted into the middle kingdom when they die. Now, if they all accept the gospel while sitting in spirit prison, and someone on Earth does their temple work, they end up in the Celestial Kingdom anyway, and Russ's little speeech on 4/6/2019 is meaningless. If they don't accept the gospel and get dead-dunked, they all end up in the middle kingdom. What keeps them from hanging out together in the middle kingdom? Does a heavenly police force keep family members apart? Are their memories wiped so they don't remember being a family? The Mormon afterlife sounds like a dystopian nightmare to me.
"We have taken up arms in defense of our liberty, our property, our wives, and our children; we are determined to preserve them, or die."
- Captain Moroni - 'Address to the Inhabitants of Canada' 1775
_toon
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _toon »

DarkHelmet wrote:
Lemmie wrote:So Mormons teach that families who are NOT Mormon will NOT be together forever.


Yeah, I've never understood that. If every member of the family ends up in one of the 2 lower kingdoms, they are together forever. The bottom kingdom is for the real bad guys, like Hitler, so most non-mormons will get slotted into the middle kingdom when they die. Now, if they all accept the gospel while sitting in spirit prison, and someone on Earth does their temple work, they end up in the Celestial Kingdom anyway, and Russ's little speeech on 4/6/2019 is meaningless. If they don't accept the gospel and get dead-dunked, they all end up in the middle kingdom. What keeps them from hanging out together in the middle kingdom? Does a heavenly police force keep family members apart? Are their memories wiped so they don't remember being a family? The Mormon afterlife sounds like a dystopian nightmare to me.


What if I don't want to be with my family forever?

Forever is a long time. My family's pretty good and all, at least as far as families go. I enjoy being around them, but a lifetime of that, maybe a bit more, seems enough. At some point in all eternity, I'll probably want to move on to new families. Perhaps even try out not being in a family for a while.

And if my memory is wiped, why would I care?

Larry David had a point:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsQpWHEYEMU
_mentalgymnast
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _mentalgymnast »

toon wrote:Forever is a long time. My family's pretty good and all, at least as far as families go. I enjoy being around them, but a lifetime of that, maybe a bit more, seems enough.


I think that this is reason enough to make it so that choosing to move in the direction of "eternal family" is a choice that is consciously made through entering into the covenant path that leads to that direction/outcome.

Choosing eternal families isn't a HAVE TO, it's a WANT TO.

Regards,
MG
_Maksutov
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Re: General conference rumors - a whole lotta nothin

Post by _Maksutov »

krose wrote:
Gadianton wrote:As for the celestial kingdom let me ask this: how much time does God the Father spend with his mortal parents from his home planet and the kids that he grew up with?

A very good question that I hadn’t thought about before.


Thinking is fatal to Mormonism. :wink:
"God" is the original deus ex machina. --Maksutov
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