Re-Branding the Re-Branding

[_SuperDell]

Pres Nelson, a.k.a. Big Nellie has now seen the results from his "M-Word" fiasco in the form of no one being willing or able to use the full name of Even The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. A new revelation will shortly be made public on the use of the name that more easily conveys the eternal nature of L-d$,inc and will be easier for publications and the public to remember.

The Divine Order.

The new name will be The Divine Order.

In keeping with progress the First Presidency will become the Directors of Intelligence and Leadership of the Divine Order. DILDO, for short.

The Quorum of Twelve will be known as the Special Heavenly Intervention Team. The crap Squad - the acronym the members will use to reference them.

More names are being worked out via midnight revelation. The complete reorganization was given but Big Nellie's lighted pen ran out of battery power and the light went off as he was writing. Since he continued writing the great revelation in the dark he did not see the ink pen malfunction and coat the paper with ink - which he inadvertently placed his hands in and proceeded to scratch his eyebrows, ears and nether regions.

Once the light was back on and Wendy came into the room the problem was apparent. Black ink all over his forehead, ears and the Personal Priesthood Pointer. It took five days and a number of visits from his personal Physician to get the inkstains out of his skin - a task necessary so members would not think he was being cursed as the Lamanites and Negroes.

You can rest assured The Lord is well pleased with his rebranding and now one and all can recognize the True Leadership of the DILDO's and crap squad.

Isn't God wonderful?

[_sunstoned]

[_Tator]

I love the new acronyms.

I have always liked acronyms that is why I am an honorary member of DAM which is Mothers Against Dyslexia.