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Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:00 am
by _MsJack
I've been busy for the past few months, getting settled into my new house and starting work on my PhD I've been so busy, in fact, that I've fallen behind on some number of months worth of the LDS Church News, a bulletin that I read almost as closely as my own denomination's Covenant Companion. (What can I say; you can leave the church's lying adulterous member(s), but you can't leave the church alone.)

So you can imagine my surprise when I flipped through several editions of the New Stake Presidents announcements and saw that our very own Everybody Wang Chung has been holding out on us. It seems our apologist friends are correct that he isn't a bishop---or, not an actively serving one at least. Our dear Everybody Wang Chung has been called as a Stake President!

I can't even say how much this information warms my heart. With the news of local LDS leadership teams harboring sexual predators and whatnot, clearly, the church needs more men like Everybody Wang Chung who will say, "Not on my watch!" The church can only be made better by this appointment.

Everybody Wang Chung, I have expressed elsewhere that you were kind to me in my most dire hour, for which I am grateful. I hope that your journey as a Stake President is one of humility and grace, that you magnify your calling and the callings of those around you, and most of all, that you protect the sheep. Vince in bono malum.

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:32 am
by _Everybody Wang Chung
Thanks MsJack. I knew it was just a matter of time until someone who knows my in real life found out about this. I'm a little relieved now that the cat is out of the bag.

The last few months have been crazy and it was probably the most difficult decision of my life. I recognize that my views of the Book of Mormon, LGTBQ and Church history are very unorthodox and at odds with much of the Church leadership, but maybe that's what the Church needs right now.

It will be an interesting ride. As my brother recently told me, it will be a sure sign of the Apocalypse if my next calling is General Authority. I would have to agree.

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:42 am
by _huckelberry
Everybody Wang Chung,

May you be a help to the people you will serve. I sense that you wish to be so the Spirit be with you.

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:48 am
by _Everybody Wang Chung
huckelberry wrote:Everybody Wang Chung,

May you be a help to the people you will serve. I sense that you wish to be so the Spirit be with you.

Thanks Huckleberry. That's honestly the only reason I accepted this calling.

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 4:01 am
by _Stocks
Very admirable. Good luck!

Louis called, he said, “poor Everybody Wang Chung, the junior stalker, he doesn’t realize that leading a small group of hapless meat wads has nothing to do with holding the sacred keys of a Stake President in the Church of Jesus Christ.”

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 4:42 am
by _Philo Sofee
Congrats! I hope your service is a good and loving service and you bless lives with support and psychological as well as spiritual help.

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 4:53 am
by _moksha
Wonder if this information will put FAIRMormon, Interpreter, and Sic et Non into a Defcon 2 status, where they will seek to unleash The Midgley?

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 4:56 am
by _Everybody Wang Chung
Stocks wrote:Very admirable. Good luck!

Louis called, he said, “poor Everybody Wang Chung, the junior stalker, he doesn’t realize that leading a small group of hapless meat wads has nothing to do with holding the sacred keys of a Stake President in the Church of Jesus Christ.”


LOL! I don't think you'll find a more angry and bitter group of people than the Mopologists. To me, they represent a sickness and disease that needs to be removed.

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 4:56 am
by _Philo Sofee
moksha wrote:Wonder if this information will put FAIRMormon, Interpreter, and Sic et Non into a Defcon 2 status, where they will seek to unleash The Midgley?


Oh I can just predict the ranting and brayings of rage...........which, quite frankly, will certainly be misplaced, since it's absolutely none of his business who the Lord calls. But he will be like Mrs. Kravits on Bewitched and poke his nose into it, imagining he is continually doing the work of the Lord......

Re: Congratulations to our dear Everybody Wang Chung!

Posted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 8:14 am
by _Lemmie
Everybody Wang Chung, your stake membership is very, very lucky to have you. Congratulations!