I have been alerted that Robertson responded to the my little game at the
Interpreter, though I’m not who posted it there.
Twenty minutes? What you did was simply unbelievable. So extraordinary as to seem impossible.
I totally agree! You will notice there is actually a typo (since corrected on my post), where I said "Latin Initial G" when it should be "Latin initial M." That's because I started with German
gehen, which works just as well, but then I saw Stubbs' entry on "net," scrolling around as I was for inspiration, and the Latin connection clicked as my mind was captured by visions of Caesarian legions and rustic Italian cavalry on tapir-back, trampling down the Sobek-worshiping Lamanites like grapes in a wine press.
(not kidding about the Sobek, which Stubbs has in there; Cyrus Gordon first espied a connection between the Egyptian god Sobek and the Nahuatl word for crocodiles. He was an eccentric and brilliant man, and that is also my impression of the obviously clever Brian Stubbs, but needless to say, the two part ways on just what the Egypto-Semitic speakers were doing there in central America. Now, what I'd like to know from the apologists who defend Stubbs' thesis is: never mind how a couple of Jews picked it up in the first place, but just how the hell did Laman and Lemuel sneak in the worship of Sobek? Were they always and consistently of the Sobekian persuasion, or did they conceal it during the 8 years in Yemen, only to resurrect devotion to the true faith once they'd escaped the fanatical confines of Nephi's kingdom?)
I think Robertson should give it a try, because it only does take 20 minutes: 1) pick a random page of Stubbs, 2) look for any kind of phonic similarity to any word in a language you know, 3) delete Stubbs' rule and put your own in. Explain away any oddities by appealing to any known linguistic phenomena or by making other rules, and for any such new rules, simply repeat 1)-3) until you find a match. The overwhelming bulk of Stubb's book consists of paragraphs in small print that are largely collections of Uto-Aztecan cognates, each headed usually by one word or root from a Semitic language or Egyptian, so you just have to pick something besides Semitic or Egyptian. And there is no limit on the amount of subsequent rules you can create in order to make it consistent.
For example, there is a lot of "with loss of final -r," a rule he also includes alongside other developments of -r (it went to y) in other environments. Not unusual for phonemes to have more than one reflex in subsequent stages of language, of course, but it is convenient. The PDF I have doesn't have printed page numbers, so it is hard to give you reliable references, but check his paragraph 725, where he goes on about the various reflexes of "Semitic R" in several different Uto-Aztecan languages. It developed in so many different ways in United Airlines, apparently, that he will always have an out. Almost all Semitic roots have three consonants, so if, for example, you get to subtract a final -r, then instead of having to find a match for all three columns, you only have to find a match for the first two. It's not unusual for final -r to be dropped (British English does that, a phenomenon known as "non-rhotacism" as opposed to rhotic dialects like American English, which maintains final -r). It's just rather easier now to find cognates if you can ignore. If on one side you are picking from Egyptian, Aramaic at any stage, Arabic, Akkadian, and Hebrew or whichever Semitic language, and on the other you have dozens of Uto-Aztecan languages to choose from in finding connections, 20 minutes might in fact be all you need.
Keep in mind that it's not as if phonemes (meaningfully contrastive sounds) are infinite. There's an old debate about how many possible phonemes exist across all languages, but it's irrelevant really, because there does seem to be an upper limit on how many phonemes a given language can have. English has about 44 or so (depending on dialect, it could be different) and that is on the high end. The highest I've seen is in the 70s for Old Irish argued by a great scholar 90 years ago who just didn't know what a phoneme was, and nobody accepts that today. But Classical Nahuatl has a few more than 20. I don't know what language among the United Airlines family has the highest number of phonemes, but assuming it's less than 30, then certainly someone can do the math on how hard it is to find correspondences between roots. Or how easy, rather. The trick then is to make the semantics match up, and nothing in historical-linguistic reconstruction is easier than fudging semantics, because the only real checks are 1) what you can imagine in your head and 2) what criticism you can tolerate from other people's mouths.
For example, Stubbs uses Aramaic
bǝsár with the meaning "flesh, penis." Well, Gadianton is a master logician, and I always hear Bertrand Russell's voice when I read his posts, just as I see his image, so he will appreciate that, while all penises are flesh, not all flesh is penis. You certainly can find that meaning, but when it's not interchangeable, as the context of where it is found makes clear: the fourth-century AD Christian Syriac homilist Aphraates, in his eleventh "demonstration" (as they called) narrates how a daughter of Pharaoh happened upon Moses and recognized "from the sign that is on his flesh" (
min sīmā dbǝbasreh) that he was an Israelite. That is the citation from the
Comprehensive Aramaic Lexicon, which you can see
here. You can also see that it is a euphemism. It is not unusual for euphemisms to be borrowed (cf. toilet from French
toilette), but again it is just massively convenient.
The fact is, the usual meaning is "flesh." It is a very common word for meat. It is also a root that has a completely unrelated meaning in a totally different semantic field: bsār means "humility. And still in another semantic field, as a verb, b-s-r means to announce or to gladden with good news. Its Arabic cognate root is b-sh-r, and someone who announces good news (say, about an idiotic decision to withdraw American troops from your country) is a
bashīr, and in that form it is not an uncommon name in Arabic. When you watch Arabic news, it might say
mubāshir somewhere on the screen: "live." With a root like that, you can go all over the place—especially if you can ignore the -r at the end!
Lemmie, I'll bet you'd have a field day calculating some probabilities.
Just randomly looking at pages:
He ignores double consonants, as convenient. At section 671, for example, to the Semitic root ђmm (bathe, wash), he connects United Airlines huma (wash). Ok, but you've just reduced again one of the columns, making it easier to find your match. And the problem is that in Semitic these are not incidental. For example, if I were to refer to my father-in-law as ђamām rather than ђāma, I'm calling him a bathroom.
I just scrolled to another page (entry 107) and see Hebrew
hu and related Semitic forms (="he" and with the definite article = "that"). This is supposed to be evidence of influence on the Uto-Aztecan pronoun system, because the United Airlines form he has reconstructed for "that" is "hu." So what? The Greek article for "the," which was originally the demonstrative "that" (you can see it in Homer) was pronounced "ho." These are all third person pronouns, and come to think of it, the English 3rd relative pronoun is pronounced "hu" though obviously spelled "who." In that entry, he gives us the Southern Paiute form ungwa, presumably part of the evidence for his reconstruction. Now, in Lakota, ung- is part of the pronoun system, though it's first person plural. Lakota is not Uto-Aztecan (it's Siouan), but on the other hand until the 19th century Paiutes in Nevada were much closer to Siouan speakers than they were to Hebrews, Englishmen, or Ancient Greeks...or were they? Anyway, how can I be sure the Paiutes weren't conquered by a roving band of Lakota speakers from whose language they massively borrowed? It's not as if the Lakota didn't get around and slaughter speakers of Uto-Aztecan languages (Red Cloud, according to his dictated autobiography, rose to dominance among the Oglala Lakota in part because of a daring and brutal raid against the Utes and Shoshone, both speakers of United Airlines languages).
One last thought on this. Perhaps this passage in Prof. Robertson's review of the review—classic FARMS!—jumped out at some of you:
To bring Stubbs’s notion of borrowing closer to home, let us consider a hypothetical scenario. Let us suppose that a Martian has accessed thousands of pages of English as well as voluminous pages of French, doing this for the purposes of careful research. His investigation reveals two classes of words. On the one hand he finds words like hand, foot, tooth, child, and sun that he cannot find in French. On the other hand, he finds words like disorganization, numerous, assumption, definition, incorrect, inexact, method, and pedantry that he finds in both languages. [Page 7]With no English words in French and nearly half of English words of French origin, our Martian friend rightly concludes that English borrowed from French, which makes our Martian researcher a splitter, not a lumper — a splitter because he separates French loanwords from what was originally Anglo-Saxon English!
Notice the first set, "Anglo-Saxon" English: hand, foot, tooth, child, sun.
Now the second, borrowed from French at various times: disorganization, numerous, assumption, definition, incorrect, inexact, method, pedantry
(I wonder if that's Roberton's subconscious review of Stubbs: "disorganized pedantry with numerous assumptions, incorrect definitions, and inexact method")
How can we summarize the difference between this list? Which set of words does every three year old English speaker know? Which set do you think is more likely to be borrowed? Why would any group of speakers borrow words for the first set? I would summarize the difference as being that the first is essential for a very young child to know in order to survive, whereas the second is superfluous for that purpose. For example, a child has to be able to learn that they are a child, they have to be able to communicate that their hand is bleeding or their tooth hurts or that the sun is too hot for them today, or that their foot was bitten by a snake. A linguist might just call them core vocabulary, but whatever you call them, they are not the sort of words you borrow without an extremely compelling social reason. Generally, words are borrowed because speakers come into contact with new objects or ideas that had up to that point been unknown to them or were peripheral. There are some exceptions: penis, for example, comes from Latin, which continues to provide high-sounding euphemisms for words and actions held under taboo in polite speech (penis is itself a euphemism, as it means "tail," a semantic link that German also makes with one of its words for penis). But generally you don't borrow words for body parts or things of immediate and daily experience. English speakers still use "Anglo-Saxon" words (to use Robertson's term) for most features of quotidian life. But I'm struck in reading Stubbs by how much core vocabulary of Uto-Aztecan supposedly was borrowed from Semitic or Egyptian: lightning, house, daughter, cry, eye, believe, pregnant, hip, grass, neck, basket, wife, stick, rock, and on and on—almost all of these words, by the way, are pure English (pregnant comes from Latin because it is a medical term, and basket ultimately comes from a dead Celtic language), so even a language as hybrid as English hasn't changed these. But apparently, in Uto-Aztecan, they hadn't thought enough about wives, rocks, daughters, hips, grasses, necks, sticks, or houses to have words for them, and it seems they never thought to give a name to lightning—if they ever saw it, because they also had to borrow the word for eye.
These are icebergs they can steer clear of if they argue for a genetic relationship and might be one reason to forgive Chris Rogers for interpreting Stubbs’ argument as a genetic one. Despite the ambiguity of the book, Stubbs and supporters eschew that and insist on a mixed language arising from borrowing. Well, that doesn’t makes even less sense.
Of course, we readers of the Book of Mormon will remember that Nephite society was rather religious, and theirs would have been a new religion to the Uto-Aztecans, who, at best, had been blinded by post-Jaredite godlessness (perhaps that blindness explains why they couldn't see lightning and needed to borrow the word for eye). But even Jaredites weren't Jews, and they certainly did not have any brass plates. Nephite religion would have been not only new but the religion of the ruling literate class of invaders. So since the Uto-Aztecan speakers borrowed so much of their invader's language, shouldn't we expect even a little bit of cultural contact? And if we get cultural contact, shouldn't we wonder where the evidence of the central feature of Nephite culture is? Where are the borrowings for baptism? Repentance? Atonement? Church? Law? Temple? How about Christ? We should expect at least some theological word to show up, but I find it more than a little strange that the only theological term borrowed from the Christian Nephites was the word Sobek, the name of an Egyptian crocodile god.
So, Prof. Robertson, is it really worth more than 20 minutes? It's a gorgeous boat, sir, but it's not fit to withstand all these icebergs.
Like Rose's heart in
Titanic, we certainly could go on, but ultimately like Jack, we may have to let go.

"Any room on that door for Sobek, baby?