Ben Park is Targeted by the Mopologists Yet Again

[Philo Sofee]

Ben Park is absolutely right that Mormon hesitancy is explained by its unhinged adoption of right-wing politics. You can't compare the hesitancy found within zones of deep American poverty with the hesitancy of well-educated Mormons who should know better but have found their God in right-wing sloganeering. In addition to the garbage that has come to me via a lifelong devout Mormon friend of mine who is an unhinged right-winger, I've slowly been getting reports from family who have up until recently been quiet about things, and the fever of abject anti-vaxx stupidity among well-educated Mor(m)ons who should know better is reaching the melting point.

Yes, it was among Mormon family and fellow ward members that I heard:

1. That Roosevelt allowed the bombing of Pearl Harbor and definitely knew about it in advance.

2. That MLK was a communist.

3. That the Civil War was definitely fought over states rights.

4. That ERA would bring the dreaded "unisex bathroom."

5. That taxation is unconstitutional.

6. That Joseph Smith was "the greatest American ever."

7. That the Clintons definitely murdered Vince Foster.

8. That Nixon did nothing worse than other presidents and should not have resigned.

9. That ionized bracelets improve your health and well being.

10. That following a diet where you eat only the same single colors of food for a period of time in succession would give you a further endowment of the priesthood (Joseph's coat of many colors).

11. That balancing your magnetic field by sweeping arms around you in pyramid shape will improve your health and strength.

12. That Obama is the anti-Christ prophesied of in the scriptures.

I could go on and on and on and on . . . .

But, yeah, you get the picture, and it ain't pretty.

No wonder the church discourages alcoholic beverages and drugs! If this is their soberness, can you possibly imagine what we would heard with them tipsy?!
One update however, now instead of Obama, Jesus has labeled Biden as the new and improved anti-Christ.
I have also heard that getting the vaccine magnetizes you and paperclips stick to your foreheads and chests!!! Wow, it's almost like getting new super powers man! Now if I could just find a way to make those lil things actually stick to me... perhaps duct tape?

[consiglieri]

13. Also that Cain is Bigfoot!

[Dr Exiled]

13. Also that Cain is Bigfoot!

I gotta push back on this one. We all know that Apostle David W. Patten saw big foot and that it was really cain. You can relive the glorious account here, along with other equally glorious accounts: https://www.ldsliving.com/when-cain-app ... le/s/83424 (notice how the "reporter" throws water on the obvious true story at the first ... without anything to back up her assertions .... hmmmm)

Incidentally, this reminds me of a story that was related to me and my family in our living room one glorious evening. A prominent LDS doctor was our home teacher at the time and relayed a fantastical story to us on that occasion. This doctor was the private physician to some of the First Presidency and so totally can be trusted with this story. It seems he was traveling in central Utah on a rainy day when he passed a vehicle broken down on the side of the road. Three men were distressed, trying to fix a flat. At this point, our good doctor's voice softened to a whisper as he said that he had the distinct impression to stop and give aid and comfort to these lost souls. However, his wife, and she was known to do this from time to time, dissuaded our man of god from his ordained mission. It seems that his uppity wife didn't want to be late to something, probably benign. Anyway, our hero then says that he had the distinct impression that these holy men were the three nephites. A spirit of something definitely filled the room at that moment and I got the distinct impression that his uppity wife was correct in not wanting to stop. It was a trap set by CAIN. I knew it because we were just talking about CAIN in sunday school a few days ago and I knew CAIN. So, I blurted out .... "It could have been CAIN .... CAIN I tell you .... CAIN." My sister lost it and to this day brings it up, laughing as though I was making fun of the doctor, a holy man of god. Well I know better. I was there and I know that the ever cunning CAIN was setting a trap to harm the good doctor.

True story.

[consiglieri]

Wow!

And here I thought the Three Nephites’ mission was to help other people with car problems.

[Dr Exiled]

Wow!

And here I thought the Three Nephites’ mission was to help other people with car problems.

We all know Cain is very cunning and will go to great lengths to deceive the very elect, even tricking the three nephites to be a part of his ruses.

(gotta love dealing in the unfalsifiable ... it allows for a lot of creativity)

[Everybody Wang Chung]

Benjamin Park's Twitter feed has some interesting things to say about the current trajectory of the Church:

But anyways, long live the perpetually bright, but rarely triumphant, liberal Mormonism.
Show this thread
Benjamin Park
@BenjaminEPark

That’s why, while I’d love to be wrong, I’m skeptical liberal Mormonism has a bright future, at least in the short-term. Both public and private interactions point to a deep retrenchment. And looking at the line of succession, I don’t see that changing any time soon.
Show this thread
Benjamin Park
@BenjaminEPark

Yes, Mormon history is littered with examples of “bottom-up revelation.” But that typically comes when 1) we have a receptive leadership, or 2) circumstances become dire. I’m not sure either is the case now, or will be for a while.
Show this thread
Benjamin Park
@BenjaminEPark

Progressives love to say things like, “I’m not going anywhere, as this church is as much mine as [enter conservative leader]’s.” The sad reality is, it’s not. Sorry to be reductive, but it still all comes down to power. Who wields the control dictates the future.
Show this thread
@Benjamin Park
@BenjaminEPark

The current leadership especially seems sensitive to any notion that they are following popular agitation. Think of how they framed their reversal on the children of homosexual unions, or the Manti Temple interior: they explicitly said it was not due to external pressure.

https://Twitter.com/BenjaminEPark

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

13. Also that Cain is Bigfoot!

I gotta push back on this one. We all know that Apostle David W. Patten saw big foot and that it was really cain. You can relive the glorious account here, along with other equally glorious accounts: https://www.ldsliving.com/when-cain-app ... le/s/83424 (notice how the "reporter" throws water on the obvious true story at the first ... without anything to back up her assertions .... hmmmm)

Incidentally, this reminds me of a story that was related to me and my family in our living room one glorious evening. A prominent LDS doctor was our home teacher at the time and relayed a fantastical story to us on that occasion. This doctor was the private physician to some of the First Presidency and so totally can be trusted with this story. It seems he was traveling in central Utah on a rainy day when he passed a vehicle broken down on the side of the road. Three men were distressed, trying to fix a flat. At this point, our good doctor's voice softened to a whisper as he said that he had the distinct impression to stop and give aid and comfort to these lost souls. However, his wife, and she was known to do this from time to time, dissuaded our man of god from his ordained mission. It seems that his uppity wife didn't want to be late to something, probably benign. Anyway, our hero then says that he had the distinct impression that these holy men were the three nephites. A spirit of something definitely filled the room at that moment and I got the distinct impression that his uppity wife was correct in not wanting to stop. It was a trap set by CAIN. I knew it because we were just talking about CAIN in sunday school a few days ago and I knew CAIN. So, I blurted out .... "It could have been CAIN .... CAIN I tell you .... CAIN." My sister lost it and to this day brings it up, laughing as though I was making fun of the doctor, a holy man of god. Well I know better. I was there and I know that the ever cunning CAIN was setting a trap to harm the good doctor.

True story.

I love stories about the TTN&C! On a related note my wife and I were at Lowes to get a thing, but she stayed in the car while I got the thing. I came out of the store to see her talking to Daryl Wilson “Big Foot Enthusiast” who recently spoke at one of those paranormal larp-conferences in my area. He really was a Big Foot enthusiast and regaled us with stories about Big Foot whether or not we appeared interested in Big Foot stories. I guess years ago he was in Alaska doing whatever and he spotted Big Foot eating salmon and berries next to a river.

-_-

When he learned I grew up in the Pacific Northwest he was hoping I had my own experience with a Big Foot. Alas, much to his disappointment, I did not. The disappointment on his face was so apparent I felt it in my soul, so I told him my ‘black triangle’ story which perked him right up. He wanted to film me telling him my story, but I declined.

He was disappointed again.

- Doc

[Moksha]

Wow!

And here I thought the Three Nephites’ mission was to help other people with car problems.

They liked to pile into Elvis' Cadillac and all ride through the car wash in Orem, Utah.

[Moksha]

The Mopologists, being the brethren's lap dogs, *

* - Only to the degree that it helps them regain the Maxwell Institute.



The scrubbing of Dr. Park's presence will be a blemish on BYU for many decades. Like shooting your foot in a pique of prideful anger. The Big 12 Conference has saddled itself with an ongoing source of embarrassment.