The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

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Doctor Scratch
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The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

Post by Doctor Scratch »

Happy holidays, friends and colleagues! The winter season is upon us! Snowflakes are falling and they linger in drifts on the branches of the Cassius University holiday tree. Dean Robbers is mixing up hot toddies in his office, and a Mopologist contingent is lobbying to have Smithmas recognized as an official religious holiday this year. With their newfound interest in "inclusivity," I guess the Mopologists figure that they are owed something, and hey: who are we to judge? Merriment abounds! Bellies are like bowls full of jelly! And everywhere you turn, it's the aroma of cinnamon and nutmeg. Dr. Stakhanovite, I'm told, is an expert baker, and his cookies are not to be missed.

In any case, as the year draws to a close, I can't help but wonder how many of you have seen the semi-classic Christmas/Horror film called Elves? If you haven't, well... I can't say that I "recommend" it, exactly, but it is worth at least a cursory look.

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The movie is about evil elves that also happen to be part of a Nazi plot. Yes: you read that right. Apparently, the goal of the Third Reich wasn't the ascension of the Aryan race, but rather a race of Elf-Aryan "ubermenschen." The movie is low-budget and schlocky, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's any better or worse than Witnesses (and anyways, didn't Witnesses face tough competition from a Christmas-themed movie at that film festival?). Plus, Elves features a starring performance from Dan Haggerty, who is perhaps best known for playing the title role in The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams.

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Anyways, without getting into too much detail (I don't want to drop too many spoilers), let's just say that the film's plot involves an attempt to kidnap a virgin and impregnate her with the elf's seed. So, really, all the elements are there for a successful film: the guy from "Grizzly Adams"; virgins being pressured into having sex; confronting professors to demand information; secret rituals. Does all this sound familiar? Well, who said that holiday movies needed to make sense? Especially when they are being used as a means of explaining Mopologetics, which, to be honest, very seldom makes much sense? I mean, we are talking about a Christmas horror movie that has, at best, an extremely tenuous connection to the birth and subsequent ministry of Christ, so in that sense, yes: it is a perfect analog for Mopologetics.

That makes a lot of sense, doesn't? Or not? Regardless, without further ado, it is my enormous pleasure as the B.H. Roberts Chair of Mopologetic Studies to announce this year's Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, in the Year of Our Lord, 2021.


10. Steve Smoot Re-Interprets the Sodom & Gomorrah Story

At this point, it seems to be something of a tradition for someone to "disrupt" Mopologetic orthodoxy at the FAIR Conference, and this year was no different, with Stephen Smoot presenting a very interesting interpretation of the Sodom & Gomorrah story. Smoot concluded his talk with the following call for empathy:
Smoot wrote:Imagine that an LGBT Latter-day Saint comes seeking refuge and a spiritual home in the Church. Imagine that this Saint has endured feelings of loneliness and alienation in the Church because they do not feel like they belong, or perhaps because they have, regrettably, endured bullying among their peers. Non-LGBT Church members have a choice. They can, like Abraham, respond with love and work hard to help this weary traveler; or, they can, like the men of Sodom, subject this poor soul to further abuse.
The talk counts as "disruption" to Mopologetic orthodoxy because it represents a 180-degree shift from typical Mopologetic attitudes towards homosexuality (for example, Louis Midgley's infamous "Are you still selling books by that queer?" or Daniel Peterson's mockery of gay writers in "Text and Context"). One cannot help but assume that the Mopologists' longstanding homophobic edifice is beginning to crumble.


9. Kyler Rasmussen's Bayes Project

This year's "Monument to Stupidity Award" must surely go to the quintessentially dorky and potato-faced Mopologist Kyler Rasmussen, who launched a multi-chaptered "article" on the Interpreter blog meant to use Bayesian analysis to prove that Mormonism is true--or, at least, plausible. Critics have had a field day poking holes in Rasmussen's work, however, and the effect has been one more of entertainment rather than scholarship. Meanwhile, Rasmussen and the Interpreter crowd were challenged by Dr. Moore--to the tune of $30,000--to have their work analyzed by a reputable statistician at BYU. But the Mopologists chickened out, arguing that the money "doesn't matter," and that they don't care about seeing funds coming in to support their cause. Avoiding official scrutiny, apparently, is more important in this case.

Meanwhile, Rasmussen complained bitterly that critics were trying to "tear down" his work at all costs, which begs the question: If the project is merely for entertainment value, and isn't meant to hold up to scrutiny, then who cares? Whatever the case may be, Rasmussen's project very clearly epitomizes the Mopologetic approach to analysis and "rigor."


8. The Louis Midgley Festschrift is Riddled with Errors

I don't think there can be any doubt that the Mopologists are beginning to wonder what their mortal legacies will be--particulary given Dr. Peterson's retirement from BYU this year (among other things). And despite the fact that one would think that entry into the Celestial Kingdom would be more than enough for them (isn't that what their "mortal probation" is all about?) they nonetheless have been lusting after secular recognition and validation in the same way that flies are drawn to fresh turds. And let you think that my use of metaphor is crude and over-the-top, consider the case of the "festschrift" that was put together for Dr. Midgley--edited and published, evidently, by Eborn books. I say evidently, because upon investigation, it was discovered that, in fact, eBorn *was not* responsible for the text, which was riddled with loads of silly errors. So bad was the editing job on the book that even Midgley's last name was misspelled, as "Midley."

The Mopologists denied that any of this was their fault (naturally), but the basic point remains: Do they really care so little for their "Emperor," Dr. Midgley, that they can't be bothered to proofread a bunch of essays that are supposedly in his "honor"? At the end of the day, the incident demonstrates yet again what we already know: Mopologetics isn't about doing solid scholarship, or supporting fellow academics. It's primarily about attacking critics. And when push comes to shove, setting aside time to copyedit (if it happens at all) is more likely to happen for articles that are focused on smearing and attacking.


7. DCP is Booted off "Deseret News" and Gee Steps down from Journal

2021 was, among other things, a reminder that it sure is a good think that the Mopologists have "Interpreter," "Sic et Non," and other "fall-back" venues to publish their commentary, because 2021 was not a good year for them in other arenas. For starters, John Gee resigned as editor of the Journal for the Society for the Study of Egyptian Antiquities, signing off with an angry screed that many viewed as unprofessional, and which several observers interpreted as a swipe at the late Egyptologist--and Gee's one-time dissertation advisor--Robert Ritner. Grudges run rampant amongst the apologists, who, by nature, tend to be an angry lot, and this was yet another example.

Meanwhile, Daniel Peterson was relieved of his duties as a columnist for the Desert News. His articles had, for many years, seemed to be on a kind of autopilot--as if they were being beamed in from Planet Blandsville. Meanwhile, some critics speculated that the Powers-that-Be at the DesNews had caught wind of the allegations concerning DCP's plagiarism, and booted him from the publication for that reason. True or not, his removal represents a diminishment of the Mopologists' reach.


6. The Continuing War on Jonathan Neville & Heartlanders

To be honest, I don't know that there's a whole lot to add here. The Mopologists relentless attacks on their fellow Latter-day Saints continues, and indeed it's been going on (and has been an item on this Top Ten list) for many years now. Dr. Peterson continues to insist that it's "necessary" to provide advertising to "Neville Neville Land," which is devoted pretty much solely to smearing and attacking Jonathan Neville, apparently in the hopes that he, Rodney Meldrum, and other heartlanders will eventually get excommunicated. To an extent, the whole thing feels like retaliation: like the Mopologists are lashing out because Neville and the Heartlanders have demonstrated that the Mopologists stole their LGT theory from an old, harebrained idea that was cooked up by the RLDS in the early part of the 20th Century.

In any case, it will be interesting to see whether this war escalates, or whether it continues to "simmer," as it has been doing for the past half-decade+.


5. The Mopologists Exact Revenge on Ben Park

If there is a group of people that the Mopologists hate even more than the Heartlanders, it's the "new-MI"/"Mormon Studies" crowd, and no one epitomizes that crowd more than Dr. Benjamin Park. In particular, the Mopologists hate the platform that Park has managed to achieve, functioning as a kind of "Mormon Megaphone" in venues such as the Washington Post. And when Park misread a bit of data, the Mopologists piled on as fast as they could, with news of his error ricocheting across multiple Mopologetic publications, including "SeN."

Perhaps even more odd, Park was later "scrubbed" from the Maxwell Institute's website, leading many to speculate that a "housecleaning" by Conservative factions amongst the Brethren was afoot. This, coupled with the dismissal of Fiona Givens, who was allegedly let go for discussing Heavenly Mother, seemed to signal that *some* change--perhaps one fueled by the Mopologists--was at work.


4. David Bokovoy Trashes "Interpreter's" Scholarship

In May, the Mormon Interpreter blog published an article by an Australian attorney named A. Keith Thompson, and for whatever reason, the article managed to pass Interpreter's "notoriously rigorous" peer review. Unfortunately, the article went live despite multiple amateur-level errors that were caught and commented upon by one of Interpreter's original co-founders, David Bokovoy. Bokovoy's response was epic and it managed to make mincemeat out of several key Mopologists, taking them to task for their ignorance of key scholarship dealing with the Documentary Hypothesis. The whole episode wound up being a massive embarrassment for the MOpologists, with Thompson having to grudgingly issue a "correction" and amendments made to the blog posting. But if you thought that the episode ended there, you would be wrong.

Roughly a month later, seemingly as a means of throwing a passive-aggressive jab at Bokovoy, Interpreter published a ten-year-old Bokovoy article without his permission. Rather like the case with Ben Park, the incident serves as a reminder that the Mopologists' years-long grudges die hard.


3. FAIR Launches "TiTS" and Rebrands

For quite a while, FAIR went by the name FAIR Mormon, and the name stood as a rebuke to President Russell Nelson, who has insisted that people stop using the term "Mormon." After dragging their feet forever, FAIR finally dropped the "Mormon" part of its name, and insisted that it was going to adopt a "kinder and gentler approach," but to many observers, the name-change was simply an eventuality after a series of missteps on the part of FAIR's leadership. Perhaps sensing that they were losing ground as the second-rate cousin to "Interpreter," FAIR attempted to "cater to a younger audience" by signing up Mopologists like Hannah Seariac in the hopes of broadening their appeal. For better or worse, this included an alliance with this year's Sampson Avard Golden Scepter Award-Winner, Kwaku El, who was one of the driving forces behind a Mopologetic YouTube program entitled "This is The Show": abbreviated "T.i.T.S." As to whether or not a program of this nature is in keeping with the spirit of Christ and the covenants that the members of FAIR have made in the Church....well, your mileage may vary.

But the programs caused quite a stir, and Kwaku found himself at the center of a controversy after he posted a violent video parody--derived from Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds--in which John Dehlin's head was photoshopped onto a character who was getting his head whacked with a baseball bat. This led to Dehlin contacting the authorities, along with a whole lot of drama, and Kwaku continues to be an important presence on the fringes of Mopologetics.

Meanwhile, FAIR has been all but abandoned by Daniel Peterson, whose only continuing alliance with the organization appears to be as keynote speaker for its annual conferences. But the organization continues to struggle to find relevance, especially now after watering down its mission.


2. The Mopologists Attack the Joseph Smith Papers Project

In one of the more brazen acts of subordination against one of the Brethren's projects, the Mopologists--notably John Gee--launched a series of attacks on the Joseph Smith Papers Project, aimed in particular at Brian Hauglid, who helped edit one of the volumes on the Book of Abraham. Convinced of Hauglids apostasy, the Mopologists went into overdrive in an effort to portray him as a "wolf in sheep's clothing" who was secretly advancing an anti-Mormon agenda from within the project.

Hauglid gave an epic interview on "Radio Free Mormon," and the volume still stands as is, with most non-Mopologist scholars praising its accuracy and up-to-date analysis of the issues. But that hasn't stopped Gee, Peterson, Midgley, and the rest from continuing with their crusade. But there were people in Church Headquarters who apparently took issue with the Mopologists' tactics, and rumors swirled that Gee and Peterson were "called on the carpet" and told to "cease and desist" with their attacks. It remains to be seen whether we've heard the last of this topic. Time will tell.


And that, of course, brings us to the Number 1 Top Happening in Mopologetics for 2021. As you can probably guess, that item is:


1. Witnesses is a Box Office Bomb

The hugely anticipated debut motion picture from the Mopologists came with huge expectations. And there were many stumbling blocks, to be sure. The initial release of the trailer was an uproariously funny disaster, with shoddy sound effects and what appeared to be a wireless mic clipped to the back of an actor's period-accurate pants. But Executive Producer Peterson soldiered forth, ultimately taking a top prize at a small Utah film festival, and eventually, this movie about the witnesses' barely-concealed homosexual crushes on Joseph Smith, made it to the big screen, with spotty distribution across the U.S. and Canada.

At first, panic set in as critics crowded onto Rotten Tomatoes in order to give the film the "thumbs down," but the Mopologists rallied and crowd-sourced a platoon of allies to swamp the site with positive ratings. Meanwhile, all eyes were on the box office numbers. Would the movie manage to recoup its $1 million+ budget? Or would they wind up in the hole? Like it or not, a movie that fails to earn back its budget will forever be saddled with the label of "box office flop," and indeed, Witnesses did not manage to make that kind of money, and thus: it was a box office bomb.

Still, Dr. Peterson and the Mopologists got to see their movie listed along side releases from the major studios, and got to enjoy all the hoopla that goes hand-in-hand with red carpet debuts, and that sort of thing. But you have to imagine that the stress got to them, too. Perhaps all those "COVID vacations" were meant to ease some of the anxiety that was connected to the project. Who knows?

Meanwhile, rumor has it that they have already begun to plan their next movie project. Will it be a smear piece that portrays Jeremy Runnels as a criminal or a buffoon? A film about near-death experiences? A movie about the LGT? I guess we'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, keep an eye out for a hardcore advertising blitz for the DVD and blu-ray versions of the film.


* * * * * * * *

Well, friends, that wraps up another year in the world of Mopologetics. It seems to me that 2021 was muted and uneventful compared to years past, but still interesting nonetheless. With Dr. Peterson's retirement, you have to wonder if the wind really is starting to go out of the sails, but we'll see. Maybe we'll get a typo-riddled festschrift for Gee or DCP? Or a new movie trailer? Let's just hope that Santa is making his list and checking it twice.

Meanwhile, did you know that they installed a jacuzzi near Reverend Kishkumen's office? It's up on the roof! I have to tell you, my old bones really appreciate a good soak, especially this time of year. Sipping a mug of eggnog, and feeling the snowflakes land on my greying head while steam rises from the hot tub: it reminds you of the true spirit of Christmas. The mixture of cold air and hot water is simply sublime, and spending the holiday season with friends and loved ones sure as heck beats floating down the Nile for the umpteenth time.

Happy Holidays, everyone!
"If, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

Post by Tator »

I'm popping the corn, putting a log on the fire and now some mechanic work putting a rearend in a recliner and some sipping whiskey now I am ready for this annual treat, yum. Thanx Dr Scratch
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

Post by Gadianton »

Another tremendous contribution to the understanding of Mopologetics unworthy of the Mopologists themselves, Doctor Scratch.

It's crazy when you think about just how fiercely they attacked Ben Park for a minor error while giving a free pass to Thompson and refusing to even acknowledge any criticism whatsoever of K-R's monumental failure as remotely valid. "Sailing down the Nile" is an apt metaphor for the "sunsetting" of Mopologetics, as it were. But what a bizarre sunset it might become; a Jurassic Park-like race to get home safely with Omicron biting at the heels.

And what an embarrassment the festschrift was! Yeah, I get that they don't do their best editing unless it's an attack piece, but I think it was a "forced" honor. It was Midley's turn for recognition so to speak, his long standing service to DCP, legendary anger, and old age was fitting to recognize, but at the end of the day, nobody really gave a rat's ass. They threw a bunch of crap together and called it good enough. Like a gift from a relative, how dare he complain? They showed the old coot what they really thought of him -- not a hell of a lot.

In other venues, the Witnesses DVD is getting plugged as the ideal stocking stuffer. And it's not a bad idea -- instead of giving that naughty kid a lump of coal, give him a Witnesses DVD! can you imagine the disappointment on anybody's face reaching into a stocking, feeling the familiar shape of the plastic casing and imagining its one of their favorite Hollywood movies, and then retrieving that? A gag gift, or one of those afterthought gifts at best. But any of the above means dollars rolling into the bank, so the apologists have the last laugh on this one.

Funny, though, I was in Utah for a week seeing friends and family recently, and I went to a couple of movies with my TBM family members and while discussing possibilities, what had been out, what everybody had and hadn't seen, I tried to steer the conversation to the existence of a recent historical LDS movie, and nobody had any idea of what I was talking about.
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

Post by Dr. Shades »

FINALLY! I was beginning to worry.
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

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Happy Holidays!!!

I believe Gee’s action in #7 (resigning from the journal with after being outed for the attack on Ritner) happened many years ago.(?)
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

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Gadianton wrote:
Sun Dec 05, 2021 2:53 am
"Sailing down the Nile" is an apt metaphor for the "sunsetting" of Mopologetics, as it were. But what a bizarre sunset it might become; a Jurassic Park-like race to get home safely with Omicron biting at the heels.
Indeed. And I couldn't help but notice that this was yet another Thanksgiving Holiday where Dr. Peterson chose to go on a cruise with relative strangers over spending time with his family. You really have to wonder what's up with that. Is he angry with them? There were rumors that a fissure had developed with some of his in-laws due to their support for Trump. So, was he shunning them, and using the cruise as a pretext for getting out of Thanksgiving? And you have to wonder how this figures into the "Eternal Plan." As the song says, families will be together forever, so maybe it's all fine and dandy to blow them off and go floating down the Nile, since you'll get to see them every day into infinity once you pass beyond the veil? But shouldn't that also be true for visiting the Pyramids and floating in a hot air balloon over Cairo? If so--and all things being equal--then this speaks to the person's values: worldly adventures are more important than spending time with family. But I think we've observed in the past that the Mopologists actually seem to have a lot of doubts about the truthfulness of the Restoration's claims, hence why they crave secular recognition and worldly pleasures with such gluttony. If their faith was rock-solid, then they would be 100% focused on living the gospel, since trips to Egypt, family time, etc. could be enjoyed indefinitely in the Celestial Kingdom.
"If, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

Post by Doctor Scratch »

Dr Moore wrote:
Sun Dec 05, 2021 3:29 pm
Happy Holidays!!!

I believe Gee’s action in #7 (resigning from the journal with after being outed for the attack on Ritner) happened many years ago.(?)
Maybe, but even so, it rose to our attention this year, and Gee had some remarkably unkind things to say after Ritner passed away. Burning bridges and carrying grudges is one of the cornerstones of Mopologetics, and both incidents fit the bill, in my opinion.
"If, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

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Doctor Scratch wrote:
Sun Dec 05, 2021 12:21 am
Meanwhile, did you know that they installed a jacuzzi near Reverend Kishkumen's office? It's up on the roof! I have to tell you, my old bones really appreciate a good soak, especially this time of year. Sipping a mug of eggnog, and feeling the snowflakes land on my greying head while steam rises from the hot tub: it reminds you of the true spirit of Christmas. The mixture of cold air and hot water is simply sublime, and spending the holiday season with friends and loved ones sure as heck beats floating down the Nile for the umpteenth time.
#GiveThanks for this new faculty perk!! With all the hustle and bustle of publishing, researching, teaching and grading, nothing beats a casual evening in the company of esteemed colleagues over a cold drink and a hot soak.
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

Post by drumdude »

Mormon apologetics is slowly fading to irrelevance. The LDS church is shrinking for the first time in its history. These are truly the end times, and the Millenium is at hand.
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics, 2021

Post by Philo Sofee »

Excellent summation of the year Dr. Scratch. Always one of the pure highlight reads of our boards here. So much to admire in the quirkiness of Mopologetics, and so little time!
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