Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?

The catch-all forum for general topics and debates. Minimal moderation. Rated PG to PG-13.
User avatar
Moksha
God
Posts: 5810
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 3:13 am
Location: Koloburbia

Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?

Post by Moksha »

It's a good thing Joseph came along and signed on as baby daddy. It would be terrible if LDS Social Services had put pressure on Mary to give the Baby Jesus up for adoption.
Cry Heaven and let loose the Penguins of Peace
Philo Sofee
God
Posts: 5017
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2020 1:18 am

Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?

Post by Philo Sofee »

Moksha wrote:
Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:46 am
It's a good thing Joseph came along and signed on as baby daddy. It would be terrible if LDS Social Services had put pressure on Mary to give the Baby Jesus up for adoption.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Dwight
Deacon
Posts: 238
Joined: Sun May 02, 2021 3:33 pm
Location: The North

Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?

Post by Dwight »

As someone in the barely a millennial generation that had seminary in the mid-to-late-90s it seemed like okay, maybe it had to be his sperm so Jesus could be a demigod (cause how else could he do all that he did), but something more akin to IVF or something, not sex. That made it more palatable. Mary was a virgin, or at least believed that she was, and everyone else. God could deliver and guide that one sperm to do its mission. Though now I realize that frame of reference was far away from what Brigham had and I guess to him Mary fell into a sleep (or was given a roofie) and god did the deed that had to be done cause reasons.
User avatar
Shulem
God
Posts: 7090
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 1:40 am
Location: Facsimile No. 3

Knock, knock, open up Mary, Father is here

Post by Shulem »

Mormon Man God, Elohim, visits the virgin Mary to make a holy deposit.

Image
User avatar
Shulem
God
Posts: 7090
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 1:40 am
Location: Facsimile No. 3

A quickie

Post by Shulem »

You're beautiful, Mary. Mother isn't here but is busy sewing on a world far yonder.

This really shouldn't take too long. Relax, daughter.

Image
User avatar
Shulem
God
Posts: 7090
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 1:40 am
Location: Facsimile No. 3

It's not secret it's sacred

Post by Shulem »

I want to watch! Ooh, Mary!

Image
User avatar
Shulem
God
Posts: 7090
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 1:40 am
Location: Facsimile No. 3

Re: A quickie

Post by Shulem »

Shulem wrote:
Thu Dec 30, 2021 4:23 pm
You're beautiful, Mary. Mother isn't here but is busy sewing on a world far yonder.

This really shouldn't take too long. Relax, daughter.

Image

Mormonism is sick, sick, sick!

Brigham Young and Bruck R McConkie were evil-mean turds that have long since been flushed by the Church.
drumdude
God
Posts: 5219
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2020 5:29 am

Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?

Post by drumdude »

Is Joseph then a cuckold? It seems some Christian apologists try to get around this by claiming that Mary must have been married to both Joseph and God which made it all ok.
Analytics
Elder
Posts: 350
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2020 3:11 pm

Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?

Post by Analytics »

Does anybody think of the Newlywed game when they read the title of this thread?

According to legend, host Bob Eubanks asked a contestant, "Where is the craziest place you've ever made 'woopie'?"

The contestant answered, "That'd be up the butt, Bob."
User avatar
Rivendale
God
Posts: 1168
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2021 5:21 pm

Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?

Post by Rivendale »

Analytics wrote:
Thu Dec 30, 2021 6:41 pm
Does anybody think of the Newlywed game when they read the title of this thread?

According to legend, host Bob Eubanks asked a contestant, "Where is the craziest place you've ever made 'woopie'?"

The contestant answered, "That'd be up the butt, Bob."
No but when I was a kid watching the Newlywed game I always thought that Bob Eubanks was the inspiration for Marvel comics The Leader a.k.a. Samuel Sterns.
Image
Post Reply