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Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:46 am
by Moksha
It's a good thing Joseph came along and signed on as baby daddy. It would be terrible if LDS Social Services had put pressure on Mary to give the Baby Jesus up for adoption.
Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 3:32 am
by Philo Sofee
Moksha wrote: ↑Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:46 am
It's a good thing Joseph came along and signed on as baby daddy. It would be terrible if LDS Social Services had put pressure on Mary to give the Baby Jesus up for adoption.
Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 2:38 pm
by Dwight
As someone in the barely a millennial generation that had seminary in the mid-to-late-90s it seemed like okay, maybe it had to be his sperm so Jesus could be a demigod (cause how else could he do all that he did), but something more akin to IVF or something, not sex. That made it more palatable. Mary was a virgin, or at least believed that she was, and everyone else. God could deliver and guide that one sperm to do its mission. Though now I realize that frame of reference was far away from what Brigham had and I guess to him Mary fell into a sleep (or was given a roofie) and god did the deed that had to be done cause reasons.
Knock, knock, open up Mary, Father is here
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 4:19 pm
by Shulem
Mormon Man God, Elohim, visits the virgin Mary to make a holy deposit.
A quickie
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 4:23 pm
by Shulem
You're beautiful, Mary. Mother isn't here but is busy sewing on a world far yonder.
This really shouldn't take too long. Relax, daughter.
It's not secret it's sacred
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 4:25 pm
by Shulem
I want to watch! Ooh, Mary!
Re: A quickie
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 4:36 pm
by Shulem
Shulem wrote: ↑Thu Dec 30, 2021 4:23 pm
You're beautiful, Mary. Mother isn't here but is busy sewing on a world far yonder.
This really shouldn't take too long. Relax, daughter.
Mormonism is sick, sick, sick!
Brigham Young and Bruck R McConkie were evil-mean turds that have long since been flushed by the Church.
Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 6:05 pm
by drumdude
Is Joseph then a cuckold? It seems some Christian apologists try to get around this by claiming that Mary must have been married to both Joseph and God which made it all ok.
Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 6:41 pm
by Analytics
Does anybody think of the Newlywed game when they read the title of this thread?
According to legend, host Bob Eubanks asked a contestant, "Where is the craziest place you've ever made 'woopie'?"
The contestant answered, "That'd be up the butt, Bob."
Re: Where did the Mormon God have sex with Mary?
Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 9:31 pm
by Rivendale
Analytics wrote: ↑Thu Dec 30, 2021 6:41 pm
Does anybody think of the Newlywed game when they read the title of this thread?
According to legend, host Bob Eubanks asked a contestant, "Where is the craziest place you've ever made 'woopie'?"
The contestant answered, "That'd be up the butt, Bob."
No but when I was a kid watching the Newlywed game I always thought that Bob Eubanks was the inspiration for Marvel comics The Leader a.k.a. Samuel Sterns.
