Sunday School

[doubtingthomas]

We'll start by singing hymn #27

Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!
Jesus annointed that Prophet and Seer.
Blessed to open the last dispensation,
Kings shall extol him, and nations revere.

Praise to his memory, he died as a martyr;
Honored and blest be his ever great name!
Long shall his blood, which was shed by assassins,
Stain Illinois* while the earth lauds his fame.

Great is his glory and endless his priesthood.
Ever and ever the keys he will hold.
Faithful and true, he will enter his kingdom,
Crowned in the midst of the prophets of old.

Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven;
Earth must atone for the blood of that man.
Wake up the world for the conflict of justice.
Millions shall know "brother Joseph" again.

Chorus:

Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven!
Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain.
Mingling with Gods, he can plan for his brethren;
Death cannot conquer the hero again.

May we have a volunteer for the opening prayer?

[Shulem]

The opening act of the 2022 FAIR Conference will be performed by a circus Egyptologist and a flam-flam man who works for BYU. The show will be performed before a crowds of jokers and clowns:

Kerry Muhlestein, professor of idiocy!

9:00 AM Kerry Muhlestein Keys to Understanding Isaiah


Hey Kerry, what's the king's name in Facsimile No. 3, YOU dumbass?

Hey Kerry, who bit the nose off Anubis?

[Shulem]

The moment Kerry realized that pyramids really are made of stone.



Paid for by the Church.

Just don't ask for the name of the king or why Smith bit the nose off the jackal.

The Church don't know.

[doubtingthomas]

Kerry Muhlestein, professor of idiocy!

Please respect brother Muhlestein, we're in Sunday school. It's okay to be a professor of idiocy, he was born that way. God still loves him.

[drumdude]

wE don't wOrShIp JosEpH sMiTh!

[Philo Sofee]

Today for my minute talk I would like to speak on a subject near and dear to the hearts of all the Latter Day Saints which our leaders, in their skillful foreseeing of future issues have wisely chosen not to discuss with the riff raff we members, but which we understand regardless.

Joseph Smith's First Vision is true, and it really happened. The reason it happened is because on the way out to the Sacred Grove, Joseph stopped and imbibed upon the local flora and fauna of the area and enjoyed a mushrooms and eggs breakfast in order to give him strength to receive his answer to the all consuming question of the day, "Is there any flippin church out here that might be worth my cockeyed bother with?"
The mushrooms, of course, the biblical foodstuff called "Manna" by our ancient brethren the Jews, helped intoxificate the Prophet and lo and behold he saw God and Jesus by whom he was told do not eat any more mushrooms, or the entirely blinkin council of us are gonna have to show up and instruct you!

I say this in the name of cheese n rice..... and the very mushrooms, Amen!

[drumdude]

So many questions about that song...

Why is Joseph crowned in heaven when Christ is Lord? Why must the Earth atone for Joseph's death when Jesus atoned for everyone 1800 years earlier?

[Rivendale]

So many questions about that song...

Why is Joseph crowned in heaven when Christ is Lord? Why must the Earth atone for Joseph's death when Jesus atoned for everyone 1800 years earlier?

Died as a martyr is problematic also. Blood sacrifices in christianity are everywhere.

[Philo Sofee]

So many questions about that song...

Why is Joseph crowned in heaven when Christ is Lord? Why must the Earth atone for Joseph's death when Jesus atoned for everyone 1800 years earlier?

Died as a martyr is problematic also. Blood sacrifices in christianity are everywhere.

Blood sacrifices all over the ancient world are everywhere. The sacrifice is one of the most enduring items in rituals the world over which emulates the eternal original sacrifice of the One into the Many as the universe came into manifestation from the Breath of God. The Greek Myths of the Titans somewhat captures the theme that all kings of myriads of little parts of the Divine are within the world.