Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

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malkie
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by malkie »

malkie wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:23 pm
doubtingthomas wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:11 pm
Do you mean a maximum of 2 years? "Researchers predict that between one third to a half of all child sexual abuse is carried out by other children and young people under the age of 18 years."
https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles ... xual-abuse

What is the solution?
My scout troop abuser was only a year or two older than me. It's not just adults, and not just those with a 2-year+ gap, who may be abusers.

It's quite possible that none of the 7 provisions would have helped me, unless the younger kids can be persuaded that there's a good chance they will be believed. The boy who molested me told me quite clearly that if I accused him of anything, he would say I started it, and the adults would believe him because he was a patrol leader, and I was just a little kid.

That is why the inquiry into my departure from Scouting went nowhere: I simply sat there, in a meeting with the leaders, and cried, with my patrol leader across the table from me. I said nothing, because (I believed) if I told the truth it would just be worse for me.
ETA: I was in a troop sponsored by one of the protestant churches in my home town
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Dr Moore
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by Dr Moore »

malkie wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:23 pm
doubtingthomas wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:11 pm
Do you mean a maximum of 2 years? "Researchers predict that between one third to a half of all child sexual abuse is carried out by other children and young people under the age of 18 years."
https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles ... xual-abuse

What is the solution?
My scout troop abuser was only a year or two older than me. It's not just adults, and not just those with a 2-year+ gap, who may be abusers.

It's quite possible that none of the 7 provisions would have helped me, unless the younger kids can be persuaded that there's a good chance they will be believed. The boy who molested me told me quite clearly that if I accused him of anything, he would say I started it, and the adults would believe him because he was a patrol leader, and I was just a little kid.

That is why the inquiry into my departure from Scouting went nowhere: I simply sat there, in a meeting with the leaders, and cried, with my patrol leader across the table from me. I said nothing, because (I believed) if I told the truth it would just be worse for me.
So sorry about this. It’s inexcusable. Hopefully my comment was not taken to be that the Scouting standards are perfect or final. The organization failed and paid dearly, and it is only through the commitment of people who believe in the aspirational principles of Scouting that the organization exists at all anymore. My point was simply that for the church to claim “gold standard” structural processes to prevent abuse, is utter B.S. when it does less than the Scouts, imperfect as Scouting protections are.
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malkie
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by malkie »

Dr Moore wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:28 pm
malkie wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:23 pm

My scout troop abuser was only a year or two older than me. It's not just adults, and not just those with a 2-year+ gap, who may be abusers.

It's quite possible that none of the 7 provisions would have helped me, unless the younger kids can be persuaded that there's a good chance they will be believed. The boy who molested me told me quite clearly that if I accused him of anything, he would say I started it, and the adults would believe him because he was a patrol leader, and I was just a little kid.

That is why the inquiry into my departure from Scouting went nowhere: I simply sat there, in a meeting with the leaders, and cried, with my patrol leader across the table from me. I said nothing, because (I believed) if I told the truth it would just be worse for me.
So sorry about this. It’s inexcusable. Hopefully my comment was not taken to be that the Scouting standards are perfect or final. The organization failed and paid dearly, and it is only through the commitment of people who believe in the aspirational principles of Scouting that the organization exists at all anymore. My point was simply that for the church to claim “gold standard” structural processes to prevent abuse, is utter B.S. when it does less than the Scouts, imperfect as Scouting protections are.
Ahhh, yes, Dr Moore - I agree with what you said, and I wasn't looking for perfection. I simply wanted to point out that the Scouting provisions, good as they are, still leave room for abuse.

I agree also that the LDS church has a long way to go to come up to the Scouting standard. As long as they depend on 'inspiration', and ignore superior standards for monitoring and preventing potentially abusive situations, they are bound to have problems that may be avoided in organizations where strict standards, based on rational criteria, are used.
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drumdude
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by drumdude »

Incredible find, Dr Moore:

Mormon church in 2013 wrote:The Church has long had a highly effective approach for preventing and responding to abuse. In fact, no religious organization has done more. Although no one system is perfect and no single program will work with every organization, the Church’s approach is the gold standard.

While clergy-abuse cases continue to grab headlines, the Church has had almost no child abuse problems with its clergy.

When a child abuser threatens the safety of his congregation, a bishop has no incentive, financial or otherwise, to do other than protect his Church family as he does his own.

The suggestion that the Church instructs members to keep abuse issues solely within the Church is false.

And even where reporting is not mandatory, the Church usually finds ways to get abuse reported while still respecting the victim’s desire for privacy.

The Church’s policies and practices have evolved over the years. The help line, for example, has been highly successful since its creation over 15 years ago. The Church continues to look for ways to refine and improve its approach to abuse. To be sure, tragic situations have arisen. The Church’s response is always to help victims of abuse. At times the Church has to defend itself in court against spurious allegations and overreaching demands, most arising from situations that allegedly occurred decades ago. But for many years the Church has had the highest standards among religious organizations.

https://mormonleaks.io/wiki/documents/6 ... 017-06.pdf
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by Dr Exiled »

malkie wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:23 pm
doubtingthomas wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:11 pm
Do you mean a maximum of 2 years? "Researchers predict that between one third to a half of all child sexual abuse is carried out by other children and young people under the age of 18 years."
https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles ... xual-abuse

What is the solution?
My scout troop abuser was only a year or two older than me. It's not just adults, and not just those with a 2-year+ gap, who may be abusers.

It's quite possible that none of the 7 provisions would have helped me, unless the younger kids can be persuaded that there's a good chance they will be believed. The boy who molested me told me quite clearly that if I accused him of anything, he would say I started it, and the adults would believe him because he was a patrol leader, and I was just a little kid.

That is why the inquiry into my departure from Scouting went nowhere: I simply sat there, in a meeting with the leaders, and cried, with my patrol leader across the table from me. I said nothing, because (I believed) if I told the truth it would just be worse for me.
I wonder how many other stories are similar to yours? I suspect this is a bigger problem than we realize due to the proclivity to remain silent, through coercion or embarrassment. Anyway, what a douche that guy was. I hope something bad happened to that guy or that there was some sort of karma that punished that guy. I want to find him and beat the hell out of him. I hope you are in a better place now.
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malkie
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by malkie »

Dr Exiled wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 11:02 pm
malkie wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:23 pm
My scout troop abuser was only a year or two older than me. It's not just adults, and not just those with a 2-year+ gap, who may be abusers.

It's quite possible that none of the 7 provisions would have helped me, unless the younger kids can be persuaded that there's a good chance they will be believed. The boy who molested me told me quite clearly that if I accused him of anything, he would say I started it, and the adults would believe him because he was a patrol leader, and I was just a little kid.

That is why the inquiry into my departure from Scouting went nowhere: I simply sat there, in a meeting with the leaders, and cried, with my patrol leader across the table from me. I said nothing, because (I believed) if I told the truth it would just be worse for me.
I wonder how many other stories are similar to yours? I suspect this is a bigger problem than we realize due to the proclivity to remain silent, through coercion or embarrassment. Anyway, what a douche that guy was. I hope something bad happened to that guy or that there was some sort of karma that punished that guy. I want to find him and beat the hell out of him. I hope you are in a better place now.
Thanks, Dr Exiled :) You sound like my big sister - "just let me get my hands on him ..."

I pretty much put it behind me many years ago - or thought I did. However a while ago I saw the guy's brother's name in a Facebook group and almost threw up. I had no idea it was still sitting there in my brain, waiting to ambush me. But I think/hope that incident finally dealt with the issue.

But I really do thank you for your concern.
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doubtingthomas
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by doubtingthomas »

malkie wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:23 pm
My scout troop abuser was only a year or two older than me. It's not just adults, and not just those with a 2-year+ gap, who may be abusers.

It's quite possible that none of the 7 provisions would have helped me, unless the younger kids can be persuaded that there's a good chance they will be believed. The boy who molested me told me quite clearly that if I accused him of anything, he would say I started it, and the adults would believe him because he was a patrol leader, and I was just a little kid.
I'm sorry to hear that.
"I have the type of (REAL) job where I can choose how to spend my time," says Marcus. :roll:
doubtingthomas
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by doubtingthomas »

Dr Exiled wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 11:02 pm
I hope something bad happened to that guy or that there was some sort of karma that punished that guy.

malkie said he passed away.
"I have the type of (REAL) job where I can choose how to spend my time," says Marcus. :roll:
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by Dr Exiled »

doubtingthomas wrote:
Mon Aug 08, 2022 3:11 am
Dr Exiled wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 11:02 pm
I hope something bad happened to that guy or that there was some sort of karma that punished that guy.

malkie said he passed away.
I guess that settles that.
Myth is misused by the powerful to subjugate the masses all too often.
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malkie
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Re: Mormon churches are not an exceptionally dangerous place for children

Post by malkie »

doubtingthomas wrote:
Mon Aug 08, 2022 3:11 am
Dr Exiled wrote:
Sun Aug 07, 2022 11:02 pm
I hope something bad happened to that guy or that there was some sort of karma that punished that guy.

malkie said he passed away.
What? Where did I say that ? Either I made a huge mistake, or you misunderstood me.
You can help Ukraine by talking for an hour a week!! PM me, or check www.enginprogram.org for details.
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